Within this document I use the term "subject" to indicate someone on the "s"
end of some form of a D/s power-exchange curve. As there are several valid
models to choose from that indicate both different degrees of power exchange and
different natures of power exchange, I want to avoid implying that this document
is biased towards one form of D/s. Now, since I AM a Master/Dominant, I use the
term Master to show where MY biases are coming from, rather than to imply that
that is the only valid paradigm.
1) I understand that in any variety of D/s relationship, the issue of
consent becomes less and less meaningful as the amount of power exchanged
rises. Under ordinary circumstances, with D/s dynamics that fall well within
the negotiated boundaries, it does not matter whether or not a subject
"consents", that is to say, whether or not their obedience is truly willing.
It may or may not be, at the time, but in these cases, meta-consent applies,
recognizing that there are times that obedience is difficult, but it is
nevertheless necessary to maintain the relationship.
Having said that, it is the responsibility of all subjects to communicate
their needs so that I can make intelligent decisions as to what might be a
reasonable expectation at the moment. I recognize that all subjects are
different, with different needs, reactions and abilities. I know that what I
can ask and expect of one may be damaging to another and not challenging
enough to a third, and that in turn, all of these things vary due to
circumstances and mood.
2) I believe that it is in my own best interest to concentrate on enhancing
the capabilities and reinforcing the self image of my subject, rather than
concentrating on crushing their self-image and self-respect.
While I understand the reasoning behind this and the attraction it has to
both some types of subjects and some types of masters, if it is done well and
faithfully by both sides the end result is still a carrot that walks, not a
valuable, intelligent and largely self directed subject.
The first approach results in a person that needs constant attention to
function at all and has no limits or hesitations, so they have no great
fascination for me as a sadist/Master, unless I should be interested in
reversing the condition. The second approach is not self limiting, so it means
I get to play with the same toy for as long as circumstances and life permit,
which is a far better return on emotional investment.
3) I believe in increasing the level of responsibility that a slave or
submissive has as a reward and recognition of progress.
Many subjects are initially incapable of handling responsibility in any
great sense, but this, to me, is a problem that needs addressing. It may be
that by working with them, they become capable of independent function and
choose to leave service. This is to be considered a good result and a
fulfillment of the relationship, not a loss.
Others may choose to concentrate to great depth on narrow areas of
responsibility, knowing that the more general life responsibilities are
covered by the Master. This is what I call Slavery; a state whereby the slave,
freed of routine life challenges, is freed to fulfill their full potential in
their best areas, to the betterment of themselves and their Master.
4) I am responsible for the emotional and physical well-being of my
subjects, however bound to me, to the degree they are bound to me, even as
they are responsible for mine.
A) I will not play with them in ways that exceed my skills or knowledge.
B) I will not play with them in ways that tend to weaken, damage or harm
them.
C) I will, to the best of my abilities, keep my play as safe as possible
under the circumstances.
i) "Edge play" is not safe, by definition, but I pledge to keep the
risks manageable, should I choose to indulge them, myself or see the need.
ii) While the ordinary boundaries of the relationship may be negotiated to
permit such play without formal consent, I recognize that it is not
appropriate to undertake edge play without dynamic and explicit
communication during the scene.
D) I will hold myself responsible for the consequences of choosing to
accept risks on behalf of my subjects, if the negotiated boundaries and
nature of the relationship make ordinary consent a questionable issue.
5) I understand that the degree of power exchange is something that must be
individually negotiated with each subject.
Furthermore, I understand that the exchange must be of equal value. In
other words, I cannot accept power or service without returning something the
subject finds just as important. What that will be measured in depends on the
subject, but I will not undervalue the relationship, even if the subject
permits, as this will inevitably lead in destructive directions.
I also recognize that needs change over time and that relationships must be
continually renegotiated in order to maintain their balance.
I recognize the absolute right of a subject to withdraw consent to any part
of a negotiated relationship, with or without notice or explanation. They, in
turn recognize that
I have the right to reevaluate the relationship based on the new implied
dynamic and the information at hand and if in my judgment, this requires a
cessation of the relationship, I have the right to make that choice.
6) I am responsible for understanding, exploring and criticizing my own
motives, ethics and boundaries. I will not violate my own ethics and I will
respect the ethical boundaries of my subjects.
To the extent that a subject has ceded the responsibilities for respecting
their boundaries to me, I acknowledge that I am responsible for considering
those limits and boundaries as being as important as my own, and being no more
eager to "push" them than to have my own "pushed."
I am as responsible for the consequences of pushing a subject's boundaries
as I would be for pushing my own, or allowing them to be pushed.
As a consequence of this, no matter what degree of negotiated permission I
may have for the boundaries of another, I will always carefully consider the
reactions of my subjects when I am exploring limits and deliberately elicit
full information on their honest reactions to it.
7) I recognize that I am not God, that I make mistakes and that I am
perfectible. I consider it my subject's duty to correct me in cases where I am
about to make a mistake that will affect them, myself, or our relationship.
A) I will not give orders I know will not be obeyed.
B) I will not place my subjects in double bind situations.
C) I will not set them up to fail.
D) I will not create excuses to punish them.