Dark Realities
all rights reserved by
Mistress Steel
comments or email
SteelBfl@sonic.net
http://www.steel-door.com
Lord **** grim words and posting bring sad sighs of shared pain and anguish
to me. Over the years the tiny newsclips parade like a litany of darkness in the
soul. Some are friends, some distant names whispered on frightened lips. This
posting propelled a discussion with a Dom/male friend of mine about the inherent
dangers of 'First Meetings'. This discussion centered around his own impending
first meeting with a submissive fem from this on-line community. He expressed
his extreme concern at her failure to ask critical questions of him before
agreeing to meet him.
There is a statistic which I quote here although it is over 5 years old I
believe the numbers to actually be higher now as the S/m community was a SAFER
place prior to the gate of AOL and other on-line services opening the doors to
the world so to speak. Essentially, about 50 submissives die each year at the
hands of another person, that person most often presenting themselves as a
dominant. Many things happen and often the deaths are gross accidents and the
fear of seeking appropriate fast medical assistance when a severe problem
occurs. Essentially a dominant bringing an injured sub to any hospital can and
will be arrested for brutality, abuse and even murder should she die. S/m is
illegal.
For those dominants entering the lifestyle at this point, every community of
size has D/s friendly medical professionals within it - generally they are
submissive male doctors or submissive female doctors. It is YOUR obligation to
investigate and connect with them prior to play as part of your safety
procedure. YOU should ascertain current vital medical information from your new
submissive and have it on hand should something grave occur. YOU should KNOW any
and all illnesses, diseases and/or conditions she may suffer from. YOU should
have a complete first aid kit and know how to use it. YOU should ALWAYS play
following SAFE practices this may appear to inhibit your fun, but death inhibits
everything, FOREVER.
For those submissives entering your first experience with an unknown strange
Dominant. NEVER play on initial meeting. NEVER set up elaborate staged
ritualistic or role playing scene such as is commonly spoken of in the on-line
rooms. ALWAYS have the dominants name (full), current address, current phone
numbers and work phone numbers. Request social security number and photocopy of
current drivers license. Additionally provide this information to a safe number.
An individual that you MUST check in with frequently during the time period of
contact. NEVER meet a strange man in an isolated place. MEET him WITH a friend
if YOU so desire to. DEMAND and CHECK his references. These should be local to
his area and people who know him physically in his local community. Ideally
these should include at least 2 submissives whom he has had sustained contact
with in real life situation for at least one year - hopefully two. CHECK CHECK
CHECK. Many new submissives seem to feel that asking PERSONAL questions violates
their desire to implicitly TRUST their dominant. That in some way base line
survival questions reflect a lack of RESPECT for the Dominant. The contrary is
true - he will LOSE respect for you if YOU do not value your life enough to
adequately protect it. OPEN, clear and constant communication is ESSENTIAL here.
AVOID any dominant who is reluctant to give you complete and open information
into himself and all aspects of his life. What the man may be hiding may cost
you your life.
Also, log or journal your activities. Keep this in your personal home and
chronicle who you met, when, where, all information on them and when and where
you intend to meet. Prior to leaving for the meeting put this journal into a
sealed kraft envelope and give to a member of your immediate family. Tell them
it is part of your last will stuff and is to remain sealed unless you should
pass away. Retrieve it unopened upon safe return to home. TELL your new dominant
that you have several safety systems set up. HE should have NO problem with
this. IF he acts upset or odd - EXIT the relationship.
I apologize for the darkness of this post but would like to see some active
discussions on other safety protocols for both Dominant and submissive here.
all rights reserved by
Mistress Steel
comments or email
SteelBfl@sonic.net
http://www.steel-door.com
The information on this page is designed to
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content of this webpage may be excerpted from
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