Preparing the Flesh
all rights reserved by
Mistress Steel
comments or email
SteelBfl@sonic.net
http://www.steel-door.com
Many forms of SM play involve the intense involvement of the skin and tissues
of the submissive/slave in the scene. A newcomer to BDSM often brings with them
all of the images they have seen, read about or heard often through pornographic
films, dime store erotica books and tales stretched till they reek like old
fish.
Grandstand scening such as you see on film or in specialized clubs is akin to a
form of performance art. The participants derive a vast proportion of their
personal pleasure through the act of performing and shocking viewers with the
'tricks' they perform on-stage. Often these scenes are highly dramatic or
exaggerated. It is not uncommon for a person visiting a private dungeon or demo
for the first time to comment on how subtle or NON-VISUAL the scene was. There
is a big difference between 'performance scening' and the real life exchange or
interactions between lifestyle BDSM'ers or those living the Dominant and
submissive lifestyle.
It is important to note that a performance scene 'artist' may NOT be involved in
the D/s or BDSM lifestyle or community at all. They may (as a performer) borrow
from the imagery in order to deliver their 'scene' to the audience. Their
understanding of the dynamics of the relationships they are depicting may be
erroneous or not important to them at all. Patterning our 'idea' of what the
community is like based upon such performances is where many people get into
real trouble.
A performance 'scener' is generally oriented TOWARD delivering the scene to the
audience. They want to shock you, titillate you and show you what they think you
want to see or will PAY to see. A D/s 'scener' is oriented TOWARD their partner,
their focus being solely on what is occurring between the two of them. Because
of this difference of viewpoint and orientation the WAY each scene is created is
vastly different.
One of the most NOTABLE differences is in what we call Preparing The Flesh. A
Dominant often wants to scene with their submissive frequently. If through
scening they injure or damage tissue, skin, muscle or bone (most often through
bruising), they inhibit future safe scening while these injuries heal. (Most
Dominants are selfish enough to want to scene daily <grins>) In addition, if the
Dominant and submissive live apart and separate after a scene, the Dominant may
not be present for sufficient aftercare of the submissive if they have sustained
'significant' physical trauma in scene. This inability to 'share' in the healing
process can destroy a relationship if a submissive bottoms out without emotional
and physical support. When a submissive re-tops, pain is no longer converted
into any form of pleasurable sensation, damage may inhibit movement, may curtail
their ability to walk or move or accomplish their normal daily tasks. If they
are alone this may summon a host of negative feelings, depression, loneliness
and sensations of lack of personal worth or value.
If a submissive scenes while injured they risk further deep or permanent damage,
injury or scarring. Some submissives view bruising as 'trophies' of their
submission to their Dominant. Such Trophy Hunting may be a reflection of poor
self esteem or a desire to seriously self injure which is not healthy and should
not be viewed as mentally healthy by a Dominant scening with a submissive who
pushes them for 'bruising'.
Most bruising, injury or damage can be minimized or eliminated by working or
preparing the flesh in scene. Hard implements or toys such as hairbrush handles
or wooden paddles (among MANY others) will almost always bruise on contact if
they are the FIRST touch that the submissive feels. Bruising often takes hours
or even days to appear. A new Dominant scening with a submissive may be unable
to determine how 'heavy' their touch is, especially if they enter a scene 'hard
and fast'. A scene should begin with a slow 'warming up' of the skin and tissues
that the Dominant desires to focus attention upon. This generally involves
massage techniques mixing in with slowly increasing sensory application. A scene
should build slowly with little peaks and valleys. Try to incorporate small
'rest' periods, or gaps. There are finite limits as to what any area of the body
can sustain without injury. Those limits are extended by the manipulation of the
tissues, movement of blood flow beneath the skin surface etc. It is also crucial
to remember that 'halting' blood flow can cause tissue to decay or die if the
blood flow is withdrawn for too long. This is important if you enjoy bondage
play, clamps or play which through pressure halts blood flow to the tissues and
cells. EVERY submissive is different, with different skin texture, tissue
composition and susceptibility to injury. Never ASSUME you know if you don't. Go
slowly.
There are some EXCELLENT topical BDSM scene books which detail VERY carefully
specific physical safety information. A GOOD Safety Book should be a mandatory
part of any Toy Box. Accidental damage most often occurs through a lack of
knowledge of what is occurring BELOW the surface of the skin. There is NO excuse
for that lack of knowledge. It is a Dominants RESPONSIBILITY to fully ACQUIRE
that knowledge PRIOR to scening or play.
If a Dominant scenes repeatedly and damages, bruises or injures frequently it
must be ASSUMED by the submissives that Dominant interacts with that such a
desire to injure is WILLFUL and through foreknowledge on the part of the
Dominant (regardless of what they say!). This may suggest a DISREGARD for the
physical safety and health of the submissive and at the least should act as a
warning to the submissives that this Dominant may be an unsafe player. Evaluate
a Dominant based on their ACTIONS - NOT on their WORDS.
Most sensation should fade within 24 hours of scene. Tissue or skin should
APPEAR to be normal within 48 hours of scene. A submissive should feel 'well'
within that 48 hour period. Note: the true CONDITION of the skin, tissue, muscle
and bone may remain invisible. Bone bruising make take up to a year or more to
fully heal. Repetitive play of UNHEALED tissue may cause a breakdown of the
tissue, infection and disease. Restriction of blood flow for long periods of
time can cause infections like gangrene.
The intensity of a scene can be enhanced by CREATIVITY. Variations keep things
fresh and unpredictable. Altered positions can change how anything 'feels'.
Damage is NOT the criteria of how intense a scene is.
all rights reserved by
Mistress Steel
comments or email
SteelBfl@sonic.net
http://www.steel-door.com
The information on this page is designed to
inform and entertain, it is not meant to offer professional or legal advice. The
content of this webpage may be excerpted from
Extreme
Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook,
Safe,
Sane and Consensual,
Dangerous
Choices or
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by F.R.R. Mallory, all the content is copyright protected under United States
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