Jealousy
********** 4/26/98 7:58 PM Begin logging Sub Pub - D/s.
Lord Excalibur | hi Katie J
*Night Spirit [HOST] | a wee bit aways, it is typical spring there was
| very warm days and some just
*Night Spirit [HOST] | warm..a cooling trend is beginning soon, so
| basically pack for it all
Lord Excalibur | evening GPDS ............ ok will do
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs to you little sis---
*Katie J* | hiya Lord Ex
Lord Excalibur | hi nite owl
*Katie J* | hugggggggggs, NS Big Sis :)
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Good evening Lord excalibur
*Katie J* | Good to see you again, GrandPa <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | also hello nite owl and hiya initials
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Opps, sorry about the small E
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Hi there katie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | we just spent the afternoon at a lovely SM flea
| market
Lord Excalibur | nice to see you again GPDS, thats ok I will let you
| off <s>
nite owl f | hi all
Lady WolfSpirit | <walks in and finds a table in the corner>
*Katie J* | hiya nite owl
*Night Spirit [HOST] | anyone annouce to 10?
Lord Excalibur | really, in SF
Lady WolfSpirit | <nods and smiles at GPDS>...hello
*Katie J* | I was just there, NS
*Night Spirit [HOST] | good evening Lady WS
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs NS...Katie
Lord Excalibur | hi Lady Wolf
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Miss Katie you are so good to me <s>
Lady WolfSpirit | hello Lord Ex
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Hi Lady WolfSpirit
Lady WolfSpirit | <smiles>
MoL's Katie J | it's easy, you are wonderful <s>
Erek | Greetings to all
MoL's Katie J | <taking Lady WS a cool beverage>
Lady WolfSpirit | tsk Katie...you say that to all the girls..<BG>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--getting out the boots and handing them out> <ggl>
MoL's Katie J | Good evening, Erek.
Lady WolfSpirit | lol NS
spicee | hello all....
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs spicee
*Night Spirit [HOST] | good evening Erek, hope all is well with you and
| Kisa
spicee | huggs LWS
MoL's Katie J | oh, if I dont' mean it, I dont' say it <weg>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya spicee
Lady WolfSpirit | lol Katie
spicee | hiya NS!!
spicee | oohmy
MoL's Katie J | huggggggs, spicee
spicee | hang on a sec
Erek | NS - Yes thanks, we've even been gardening this
| afternoon <s>
MoL's Katie J | huggggggs
Lady WolfSpirit | <--wonders what we should hang on to
Victoria A Rancont | huggs all
wry§ilk | hi :-)
MoL's Katie J | hugggggs to toy
lost toy robot | <--boy that feels better
lost toy robot | ROFL
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs silk
wry§ilk | hugggs LWS :-)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs robot and Victoria your name dear <wink>
†@££¥*$ | <walks in and sits on stool in corner>
wondering | hello all
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs Miss wry the best name in cyberdom
Lord Excalibur | evenig all that have entered
lostsutra | sorry, never been in conference before
†@££¥*$ | Thanx LE
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs sutra...<S>
Erek | <<Settles into comfy chair, pours an Irish Scream
| Coffee for self
lost toy robot | i drug her with me, NS.....made her come <giggling>
MoL's Katie J | welcome sutra <huggggs.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <ggl> hugs sutra--why I warned you sweety
Filkus | <Sits quietly and lstens for a change......>
Lady WolfSpirit | lol toy
lost toy robot | hugs sis...
Lady Rapunzel | <-- here! <breathing hard>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Hello sutra, toy robot
lostsutra | hugs all
MoL's Katie J | hugggs, Filkus
Lady WolfSpirit | Filkus...a moment in private please
Lord Excalibur | hi L:ady R
lost toy robot | hello GrPa, Sir....
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs Lady Rap
Lady Rapunzel | Did I beat her?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | toy I can see you on a chain, I am
| holding--er..sorry where were we?
Lady Rapunzel | <- hugs everyone
lostsutra | <curtsy> GrPa, sir
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Where is lost today?
lost toy robot | ROFL NS......
*Night Spirit [HOST] | evening Lady R--let's get the last grope
| grouping...today because this should
*Night Spirit [HOST] | be a really good if short CO
lostsutra | lost, sir
Leda | Good evening, all. <s>
Lady Rapunzel | <-- pokes tongue out at Leda
lost toy robot | <shrugging> lost i guess <sigh>
Lady Rapunzel | <mutters> I won, I won
MoL's Katie J | hugs to Leda and Gypsy
Lady Rapunzel | <laffin>
Leda | <laffin> No fair! I had to stop to read msgs.
Lady Rapunzel | Ha HA!
Monk's Gypsy | hello everyone <s>
Lady Rapunzel | <giggle>
Leda | Hugs, Katie, NS, everyone. <s>
wondering | hugs Leda & Gypsy
lost sutra | we seem to have misplaced him, sir
Lady WolfSpirit | hugggs Gypsy
Monk's Gypsy | huggs
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Tonight's CO is---Jealousy in D/s relationship, and
| how to avoide them
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya Gypsy
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | How could anyone misplace loston earth?
Dakini | evening all
*Night Spirit [HOST] | he's lost GrPa
lost toy robot | <giggling> actually...it wasn't hard, Sir....
MoL's Katie J | he's lost, I guess.
Leda | Hi Dakini :-)
lost sutra | you simply put him in a safe place, sir
lost toy robot | he is lost after all <giggling>
Lady WolfSpirit | lol toy
Lady Rapunzel | <flexing fingers> What subject that I know nothing
| about am I going to blag tonight, Katie? <laughs>
Lady WolfSpirit | huggggs Leda
Leda | <laffin> toy
MoL's Katie J | great minds, NS
lost toy robot | ROFLMAO sutra...
Leda | Hugs, LWS :-)
MoL's Katie J | Jealousy, Lady Rap <grin>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | sutra since you live in a relationship with more
| then one sub, how do you
*Night Spirit [HOST] | handle not being jealous?
Lady Rapunzel | Ooohhh... that one I *know* <grins>
lost toy robot | ca ching....
lost sutra | depends upon your definition of jealousy
MoL's Katie J | somehow, I'm not suprised.
lost toy robot | she started it off right, eh?!
Lady Rapunzel | <smile>
wry§ilk | <listening closely>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | But you two are lost too.
lost toy robot | sis?
MoL's Katie J | NS .... are we going to focus online, or RL?
Filkus | <nods to all but not trying to draw attention to
| oneself tonight>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | ok sutra enlighten me :)
Lady Rapunzel | Would like to say that last week I talked *far* too
| much, and this week I'm going to try not talking so
| damn much <sigh>
Lady WolfSpirit | <smiles at Filkus>
Leda | Can we do both, Katie?
Monk's Gypsy | <smiles> Hi Filkus
Erek | <<Sips the Irish Scream and waits to hear answers
| to this one <g>
Spartan | A good evening to
| all....................................
Spartan | .
Lady WolfSpirit | <getting boots out cause its really getting deep in
| here..looking at LR>
Filkus | <Nods to Gypsy>
lost toy robot | hello SPartan, Sir...
wondering | <grabbing fit and pulling her over to a couch...
| smiling>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Lady R you did great :)
Leda | Hugs, Spartan. :-)
MoL's Katie J | sure .. but the elements of the two might be a
| shade different
fit to be tied | <slips in the back...>
Lady Rapunzel | <laughing> LWS
Lady WolfSpirit | hugs and smooches Spartan
Will (aussie) | <slips in>
Lady Rapunzel | Thanks, NS <smile>
Filkus | <Nods to LP>
lost sutra | well, i don't hold anyone to ties pshysically
lost sutra | & emitionally i hold a place that noone else
lost sutra | seems to really want.......my role is pain slut
Spartan | huggs and shakes around....<s>..
lost sutra | & slave...not sub.....that is the difference for
lost sutra | me
fit to be tied | <cuddling with wondering>
Monk's Gypsy | <-sits down with her coffee, listening
Lady Rapunzel | <-- hugs the lovely Spartan
mc | <peeks in> hello everyone
MoL's Katie J | To the latecomers .. Jealousy is our topic tonight
| <s>
lost sutra | <curtsey> Spartan
Lady WolfSpirit | <leans back in chair...sipping coffee>
Spartan | <wondering is a refresh of what the topic
| is>...please....
Lady Rapunzel | May we do online first, then?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Then you can tell us, NS, how you handle it when I
| play with others.
MoL's Katie J | To the latecomers .. Jealousy is our topic tonight
| <s>
Dakini | jealousy can be wonderfuly erotic
Spartan | thnx.............<s>
Leda | I dunno that there would be that much difference in
| reaction, Katie. <s>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Since you are right there too.
lost sutra | also.....lost is not the kind of Dom that
lost sutra | would ever be happy with just one, no
lost sutra | matter the role...i understood that and
lost sutra | voiced it to him, prior to our d/s days
*Night Spirit [HOST] | GrPa I don't mind you playing with others, but I
| would like the others to be
*Night Spirit [HOST] | special to me--I envy the lost family because they
| are family
lost toy robot | <nodding>
Dakini | the very thought of your partner with someone else
| imo can send you into ecstacy
mc | <sitting back...listening/learning>
MoL's Katie J | It doesn't bother you at all, NS? lost?
lost sutra | if everyone has their own roles & all
lost sutra | understand and agree upon those roles..
lost sutra | there is no reason for jealously
*Night Spirit [HOST] | but also I notice on line alot of jealous subs if
| the dom shows affection for
*Night Spirit [HOST] | another
Leda | <G> I wouldn't define my reaction to that thought
| as "ecstacy," Dakini.
Dakini | lo leda no im sure lots would not
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie no, because he loves me--period nothing
| changes it--when he plays I do
*Night Spirit [HOST] | too...and make them crazy
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I fully understand that NS, and would like to have
| the same arrangement. But in
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | the meantime, how do you handle it?
lost sutra | lack of jealousy in a relationship requires a
lost sutra | lot of mutual respect, understanding and
lost sutra | communication
MoL's Katie J | I lived in an open D/s relationship in my youth,
| and I was eaten up by
MoL's Katie J | jealousy.
Dakini | how erotic
fit to be tied | jealousy for me comes from my deep emotional
| attachement to someone when i am
fit to be tied | not sure the other feels the same
Lady WolfSpirit | exactly fit...well said
*Night Spirit [HOST] | sutra please tell us more...how do you do it
| <watching sutra>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I always try to make sure that, no matter what, NS
| knows she is loved.
Filkus | Yes. fit that seems to be the exact way I would
| have said it.
lost sutra | how do i do what, dear
MoL's Katie J | I like that fit.
Erek | <==Has heard a lot before about lack of jealousy,
| but experience has taught me to put a grain of salt
| on that --- a grain roughly
*Night Spirit [HOST] | fit if attached you should trust them not to stray
| even if they play around
Erek | the siz of a deer lick>
Leda | I think for most people, fit, that is true. <s>
| The tough thing is that most
Leda | people always have that little edge of self-doubt
| that makes them doubt others.
Electricblueyes>M | <sneaks in--please--ssshhhh!>
MoL's Katie J | Leda, you stop reading my mind.
Dakini | i agree erck, its unrealistic to think one will not
| experience jealosy
Filkus | Psst..EBE..quiet bench over here.
Leda | <S> But there's so much good stuff in there to
| steal, Katie. ;-)
fit to be tied | ahhh... the attached is the key there.... once
| there is that attachment or
fit to be tied | commitment.,.... there is rarely jealousy
Electricblueyes>M | <s>
Lady Rapunzel | Like wit, Leda?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Jealousy is more about sense of loss for ourselves
| isn't it?
Lady WolfSpirit | in a way GPDS.....yes
Leda | I think it's more about feelings of inadequacy on
| the part of the person
Leda | experiencing jealousy, GPDS, in many cases.
Monk's Gypsy | i think jealousy is more because of a sense of
| insecurity about ourselves
*~tina~* | ditto Leda!
Dakini | whats wrong with feeling jealouse, i enjoy it,
| surely the only problem arises
Dakini | when one acts on it
lost sutra | if you are secure with where you are in a
lost sutra | relationship and who you are with, i
lost sutra | honestly do not see how you can be
lost sutra | jealous if they occasionally find pleasure
lost sutra | elsewhere, as long as they come back &
lost sutra | don't do it behind your back.....
fit to be tied | but not always Leda.... sometimes it is wanting
| what you just can't have
Erek | <++hauling out a coupla more block sized salt grains
lost sutra | & if you are involved on some level with
lost sutra | both parties its all shared, not one or the
lost sutra | other
Electricblueyes>M | Why do Doms/Dommes feel it is fine
Electricblueyes>M | for them to have many, but not for
Electricblueyes>M | subs??
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Yes, it's also that we feel we are losing something
| valuable to us. It's about
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | our loss.
wondering | i think there's a fine line between being envious
| and jealous... and it's
wondering | jealousy that is destructive...i don't think envy
| needs to be
*The Inspector* | <--agrees w/Gypsy
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | OK
Lady WolfSpirit | because most is done behind the back sutra..that is
| where most of the problems
Lady WolfSpirit | online in the room have been lately
Filkus | <---knows about people wanting what they can't have
| and the emotions that ensue
Filkus | from that.....UGH
Dakini | well they dont but thats just what they want blue
*Night Spirit [HOST] | brb
Leda | Envy is wanting what something else
| has--covetousness. Jealousy is not wanting
Leda | anyone else to have what you have, or wish to have,
| I think. <s>
Electricblueyes>M | well, that is not rational, we are all
Electricblueyes>M | human
Leda | something=someone.
Leda | <sigh>
Monk's Gypsy | if your partner plays with others, you ask yourself
| what is it you are lacking,
Monk's Gypsy | why is he looking elsewhere
lost sutra | then we (as subs) need to make sure our
lost sutra | Dom/Dommes know that it is ok, provided it
lost sutra | is all out in the open
Lady WolfSpirit | exactly sutra
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I think jealosy can be delt with if everyone is
| aboveboard. the problems ensue
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | when they are not, or when one ignores them.
Filkus | Total honesty. No fears.
Electricblueyes>M | but what if it is NOT okay???
MoL's Katie J | When the cloak and closet is a part of the
| equation, it makes it really hurt.
MoL's Katie J | and it hurts all of us ... in our community.
*~tina~* | if one in the relationship is seeking enjoyment
| elsewhere when the other does
*~tina~* | not desire it , then IMHO there is something wrong
| there
Lady WolfSpirit | Elder does not have a problem when i am with Wolf's
| blaze because he knows up
Lady WolfSpirit | front she is there to please me
Dakini | i dont see why gypsy, surley it is unrealistic to
| expect that one person can
Dakini | satisfy all ones needs all of the time, no matter
| how much they love you
Leda | Can it *always* be dealt with, though, GPDS?
MoL's Katie J | Your head can say it is OK ... what if you can't
| make your heart say the same?
Erek | If I can ask a few questions here, we may get one
| handle on what causes jealousy
Leda | I'm not sure that it can be.
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Gypsy, NS and I have had that conversation.
MoL's Katie J | Please do, Erek
Dakini | is love something to be hoarded and kept for one
| person alone .......... why ?
lost sutra | then tell them that, dear......any true d/s
lost sutra | relationship rather it involves other partners
lost sutra | or not requires total honesty & trust
lost toy robot | <hugging sis tightly>
Spartan | i believe that trust, must be locked within
| security for this
Spartan | topic......security of the relationship between the
| members, and ones security
Spartan | with themselves to do the correct thing for the
| ones who have entrusted you to
Spartan | be there for them, and to provide a nurturing
| environment... flirting, and
Spartan | shows of an inner affection for others should not
| foster itself within the
Spartan | relationship and be a fuse towards
| jealosy........................
mc | <smiles at sutra and toy>
Lady Rapunzel | Oh, *here* we go <scrolling and laughing>
Erek | How many people can honestly say that they are
| polyamorous? That is that you can LOVE morethan 1
| at a time?
Will (aussie) | imho there are two clear scenarios,
Will (aussie) | 1) The dom expressly desires that the sub be with
| someone else, for the the
Will (aussie) | dom's pleasure
*~tina~* | not me erek
Will (aussie) | 2) The dom discovers the sub with someone else,
| unbeknownst to him or her
Will (aussie) | No 1 is (surprise, surprise,) easy for me to take,
| no 2 is not !
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I think it can if both parties are willing.
| Otherwise, no. Showing someone they
Dakini | define the "correct thing" spartan
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | are loved will work if that person can believe it.
Lady WolfSpirit | I am Erek
fit to be tied | <rasing her hand at Erek's question>
Electricblueyes>M | My problem comes, perhaps, with
Electricblueyes>M | the response of Dom/ Domme--to
Electricblueyes>M | sub--""you don't own me." Yet they
Electricblueyes>M | think they own you!
Spartan | again...............this was from a my point of
Spartan | view.......................................
Dakini | they do dont they blue ?
Erek | I am and kisa is and I know a few others, but most
| people who are honest about this discover that they
| cannot be ---
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | NS says I own her, yet in all practicallity, there
| are limits.
Erek | and that can lead to a great deal of jealousy
Filkus | We walk such emotional fine lines that sometimes
| trust is all we have......In
Filkus | knowing this it all can come apart if that is
| violated.
Lady WolfSpirit | i didnt think i could be Erek...until recently
Spartan | the 'correct thing' dak is anything which affects
| the relationship within the
Spartan | bounds the members have set for
| themselves...............................
mickey | hi everyone
Electricblueyes>M | No, Dak--they don't!
wondering | you can love more than one person at one time...
| they each add something to you
wondering | that you don't get from the other
Filkus | Hee here Spartan.
Erek | If one enters into a relationship looking for
| exclusivity and does not find it - well, let's just
| hope the re;ationship ends well.
~~£âçÎè~~ | <runs in
MoL's Katie J | Depends on the level of commitment, Ebe
Dakini | i would expect my subs to be totaly faithful to me
| unless i gave them
Dakini | permission to do otherwise but i do not expect to
| be myself ....... they know
Dakini | that from the start and i find it works ok
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I agree wondering, but some don't believe that or
| don't understand it.
lost sutra | if you truly love........and that person desires
lost sutra | another, for whatever reason, but it does
lost sutra | not effect the love felt towards you.....(in
lost sutra | some cases it even adds to it) why be
lost sutra | jealous??
*~tina~* | I can only commit my soul to one....although I can
| love others for what they
*~tina~* | are ....and love them differently than Spartan
Leda | That's a good point, Erek--and I think that that
| should be laid out at the
Leda | get-go. I told Mentor from the very start that the
| thought of sharing him with
Leda | anyone or being shared was not something I thought
| I could deal with. That it
Leda | would be harmful to be, emotionally and
| psychologically.
Filkus | They still are faithful if you have given them
| permission to do otherwise
Filkus | though, yes Dak?
Electricblueyes>M | Why should that be the case, Dak??
Lady Rapunzel | What we are talking about here is the feeling you
| get that you are not receiving everything you think
| you are entitled to from the
Lady Rapunzel | "agreement" upon which you entered into whatever
| relationship it may be. Right?
Leda | And knowing that, he agreed that it would not be a
| part of our relationship.
Lady WolfSpirit | because jealousy is ingrained in this monogamous
| society sutra
Leda | So, in a way, it was a limit.
Electricblueyes>M | Hell, if you're fooling around, why not
Electricblueyes>M | your sub??
Spartan | well dak, i think if that works for u , so be
| it....for myself, i do not find
Spartan | that attitude to be fostering trust from someone to
| me nor for myself to
Spartan | another or others...........again, only what works
| for me.....
Erek | Also - I find that a great many people, vanilla or
| kinky, profess to be open towards all varieties of
| relationships, but in ---
lost sutra | i love lost dearly & have grown to love toy as
lost sutra | well....being jealous would detract from the
lost sutra | love i feel for each of them....i would never
lost sutra | do anything to jeporidize that.
Dakini | its not a matter of should or right or wrong its
| just what you will put up with
Dakini | and what you dont
Erek | in fact NEED one on one
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | If NS loved another, and wanted to leave me for
| them. And said she would be
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | happy with them, I would let her go. That is ture
| love to me. However, I would
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | also be jealous.
Erek | For which there is nothing wrong, except that you
| may be fooling yourself, your partner or both if
| you can't see that before
Erek | getting into multistrnded relationships.
Filkus | Yes, Erek there is adifference between my fantasies
| of having many subs and the
Filkus | reality of my ability to emotionally commit.
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | ture=true
~~£âçÎè~~ | <listening
Lady Rapunzel | We're not discussing whether or not you can love
| more than one person and make that work for all of
| those within the relationship.
Lady Rapunzel | I think we are all intelligent enough to know that
| everyone makes their own choices about that.
Monk's Gypsy | i can only handle one on one
Filkus | <---- Doesn't want to be a half-assed Dom to 2 subs.
Electricblueyes>M | Good for you, /Filkus <s>
Erek | I've had more than one sub at a time and just one
| at a time - I've discovered that if the sub wants
| exclusivity, I'd better ..
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | But not everyone feels that is the enivitable
| result Filkus
Lady WolfSpirit | <---Enjoys the love she receives from Elder and the
| love she receives from her
Lady WolfSpirit | sub....
Dakini | i had a partener once who had an affair outside the
| relationship and because he
Dakini | told me about it beforehand and i agreed to it i
| was fine with it i really felt
Dakini | no jealousy, another one time did the same but
| behind my back and i was
Dakini | furious, i think the most important thing is
| honesty and willingness to discuss
Lady Rapunzel | Jealousy comes when you feel that someone, or
| some*thing* else is getting what you feel is
| rightfully yours
lost sutra | true Lady Rap
Filkus | <Nods to Dak>
Lady WolfSpirit | true LR
Erek | be willing to give it. Only another polyamorous
| individual will work as sub in a multi-relationship.
Lord Excalibur | I agree with Filkus, I am committed to La and she
| to me and we both would have
Leda | Erek--did those subs (when you had more than one
| sub) ever experience jealousy
Leda | b/c of the other? And how did you handle that?
Lord Excalibur | it no other way
MoL's Katie J | I find, that since most of my contact with MoL is
| here in the cyber realm, I
MoL's Katie J | get jealous of the time others *take* from me ...
| not even getting into the
MoL's Katie J | sexual part of it.
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Or, put another way, jealousy is an experssion of
| possiveness.
Electricblueyes>M | Is it possible to slow this down a
Electricblueyes>M | little--please???
fit to be tied | jealousy can also be tightly entertwinded with
| sadness and loss
Erek | Leda -yes some did feel it
MoL's Katie J | no, Ebe, put your seat belt on.
Lady Rapunzel | Yes, Katie, but there we are into relationships
| that are confined for some of the time to this
| medium.
Erek | and the only solution I found was to pare down on
| the number of subs
Lady WolfSpirit | i know what you mean Katie...sometimes i feel that
| way as well when Elder is
Lady WolfSpirit | bogged down with sends
Spartan | in my relationship with tina, it is the most open
| and honest i have ever
Spartan | experienced, i may do as i please as she can, we
| respect each other to know the
Spartan | difference between what would cause any feelings of
| a void to the other, and
Spartan | should we choose to want anything different from
| what we have established we
Spartan | can talk about it, and move in that direction, if
| she wishe dto be with another
Spartan | or i did, we would not disrespect the other by
| doing behind eachothers back
Spartan | etc...
Electricblueyes>M | LOL Kate!
Filkus | And don't forget that jealousy can be the
| pre-cursor to obsession.
Dakini | personaly when i start a relationship it makes me
| feel generaly open and more
Dakini | loving towards *everyone*, agian why should love or
| sex be seen as something to
Dakini | be hoarded and kept for one only
Spartan | we have that much trust in each other and love for
| what the other may need....
Erek | sometimes releasing the jealous ones, sometimes
| releasing the others to save *the* jealous *one
lost sutra | agree with Dak
lost toy robot | i love lost as well....and have grown to love
| sutra....we are a family <S> I
lost toy robot | am attempting to deal...with the jealousy that
| comes so naturally to me...at
lost toy robot | this point...i am envious of the time sutra spends
| with lost...but know that
lost toy robot | his love for her...does not detract from his love
| for me...the result
lost toy robot | is...little or no jealousy
lost sutra | <hugging toy>
Leda | I don't think it's a matter of "why should it,"
| Dakini, as much as it is a
Leda | matter of can all of the persons involve handle
| that.
lost toy robot | <hugging sutra back>
Lady WolfSpirit | <smiles>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I came to NS from a 30+ years marriage. I would
| feel much more trusting of NS
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | with another, then I felt with my ex at anytime.
Erek | what ltr says is the only way I've seen a multi work
Dakini | agreed leda
Erek | You must become family
Dakini | intelectualy one may agree with someone but when
| the green eyed monstor rears
Dakini | its head, sense flys out the window
Leda | More trusting, GPDS--yes. But would you feel hurt?
| Angry? Jealous?
Erek | Or, in a few cases, you can possibly seperate who
| is what to whom - but that's another story of
| complications
lost sutra | agree Erek, it will not work unless all
lost sutra | parties agree & are willing both with the
lost sutra | sacrifices & to be very honest of their needs
lost sutra | & fears
lost toy robot | brb
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Hurt, angry, not if it were done openly.
Leda | See--I would. And knowing that those feelings
| sprang more from some deep-rooted
Leda | feelings of inadequacy within myself wouldn't help
| to alleviate them.
Dakini | jealousy, anger obsession hate are all natural
| emotions that we need to be
Dakini | aware of, the problems arise when we act on such
| emotions
Erek | ls - but very few are that open and able
Lady Rapunzel | We are talking about the mechanics of multi's,
| rather than jealousy, aren't we?
Monk's Gypsy | I agree with Leda
Painter | a men what Spartan said......about both in
| actuality can do as thay
Painter | please...but should be sensitive to others
| feelings...talk thru...potential
Painter | problems...of speaking to others<s>
Filkus | Yes Dak, yes.
wry§ilk | <s> P
lost sutra | true....but that is the only way i can think of
lost sutra | for a true poly relationship to work
MoL's Katie J | not now, Lady Rap .. tonight is Jealousy .. on all
| levels
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Jealous, somewhat, but I would consider that a
| reflection of my love for her. I
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | would never express it either.
Erek | LR - I think we need to discuss multis as the main
| way that jealousy arises, no?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Not if openly done
Lady Rapunzel | It is one relevant situation, Erek, yes.
lynn | HI.. sorry I am late..<s>
fit to be tied | but not the only one Erek
Lady Rapunzel | Not the main one, perhaps, but certainly one.
MoL's Katie J | Erek, that's next week .. Polyamory
MoL's Katie J | this week, just plain ol' green eyed monster.
Erek | fit - agreed - there have been subs who were
| jealous of my time and concentration to my work
MoL's Katie J | It has many forms.
Erek | <shrug> Not much I can do about that and continue
| to live
Dakini | surely its unrealistic to think that we will only
| ever be sexualy attracted to
Dakini | one person in our lives, if we are attracted to
| others why is it so often seen
Dakini | that the attraction to the other is somehow
| diminished
Dakini | ??
Lady Rapunzel | However, I think that we can safely agree that
| either you like multi's, or you accept them, or you
| dislike them. Each to their own,
Lady Rapunzel | each relationship carved out as it works, or not
| carved out and therefore leading to a risk of
| jealousy.
Lady Rapunzel | That's *not* the subject of jealousy itself.
Erek | Dakini - some are only attracked *enough* to one
Electricblueyes>M | This is so odd, I know--but my
Electricblueyes>M | Mistress WANTS me to be with
Electricblueyes>M | others--yet she will not, because it
Electricblueyes>M | would hurt me too bad--because she
Electricblueyes>M | is stronger that way!
Lady Rapunzel | That's all I'm saying.
lost sutra | i find myself much more jealous of the time
lost sutra | that lost spends out of town for work than i
lost sutra | could ever be about another sub
lost toy robot | back
*~tina~* | I tend to have that green eyed monster buries in me
| unfortunately...but Spartan
*~tina~* | has fostered such a sence of security in me like no
| other.......I feel very
*~tina~* | fortunate....
Filkus | Forget subs only...Erek..in the world of politics
| that I travel in more
Filkus | marriages have dissolved over jealousy by the
| spouse over time needed for
Filkus | commitment to politics.
Painter | Jealousy has no place here...so destructives and
| the SINGLE emotion...which
Painter | must be kept in tight control...
MoL's Katie J | I've known men who acted as if they had 2 dicks ...
| one for the woman they
MoL's Katie J | love, and one for the rest of the population with
| an X gene.
Leda | <S>@tina
Erek | Filkus - agreed again
wry§ilk | LOL Kate!
Monk's Gypsy | lolkatie
Leda | <laffin>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I am sometimes jealous of the time NS spends
| hosting on Compuserve. But I also
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | realize how unreasonable that feeling is. Sometimes
| jealousy just needs to be
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | surpressed as an unreasoning fear.
Lady Aireanna | entering room quietly......
Dakini | playing on the edge of jealousy can be sooooo erotic
Lady Aireanna | crossing to Le and kneeling to his left
fit to be tied | Dak... please explain
*Spartan* | dak do u mean in cyber or real ?
wry§ilk | and so destructive.. if not handled properly..
*~tina~* | Dakini, dont you feel that if you were living with
| a sub and they made you
Leda | Yes, wry--I agre
*~tina~* | jealous it might affect you differently?
Lord Excalibur | hello darling, <stroking LA's hair>
Leda | agree
Erek | A mistake there can really hurt
Filkus | One must submit to the notion that jealousy is
| self-destruction. When the
Filkus | feeeling arises you must yeild before entering its
| den. The only way.
Painter | laffin...kate thought all men that way<s>
Dakini | i know many fit, who are totaly turned on by the
| thought and act of their
Dakini | partners with others my slef included partly
| because of the feelings it evokes
Lady Rapunzel | Jealousy can be used, and in my opinion, only
| vindictively, to ensure faithfulness in others.
Dakini | irl of course
*Night Spirit [HOST] | miss me?
*Spartan* | but thats not what we r talkin about here
| dak..............
Lady Rapunzel | That's not jealousy, Dak, IMO
Erek | wb NS
lost sutra | re'hugs ns
Dakini | i was meaning in an erotic sense rap
fit to be tied | i would not have expected jealous to be one of the
| ones that would cause arousal
Lady Rapunzel | That's *still* not jealousy
*~tina~* | you mean in a specific scene Dak?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | thanks all...
*~tina~* | not in general?
Dakini | but its the jealousy that provides the edge
Dakini | no i mean generaly tina
*Spartan* | agreed lady
Electricblueyes>M | <going to date Evelyn Wood before I
Electricblueyes>M | come back again!>
*Spartan* | R
Lady Rapunzel | No, it's the idea of your partner with another that
| provides the edge for some... it's not jealousy
*~tina~* | <nod>
Erek | Dak - I think what you're dealing with more likely
| falls under swapping than jealousy in D/s, ymmv
*Spartan* | <S>
Dakini | but the feeling that are evoked are based on
| jealousy rap
MoL's Katie J | the only edge that brings out for me is my kitchen
| knife.
*Spartan* | no
fit to be tied | Dak i think to two are quite separate
*~tina~* | lol
*Spartan* | they are not dak
Dakini | lol katie
Leda | Or voyeurstic, atavistic, pleasure, Rap?
~~£âçÎè~~ | ymmv?
mc | lol katie
*Lynn* | hugggs..friends..<s>
Erek | Your Mileage May Vary
Leda | your mileage may vary, Lacie <s>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | EBE, there are only 25 people talking at once.
*Spartan* | hi lynn
~~£âçÎè~~ | thanks<S>
Dakini | whats the difference iyo then spartan ?
*~tina~* | I have watched Spartan play in a scen with
| another...and there was no
*Lynn* | hello Spartan.<s> huggs
*~tina~* | jealousy.......I throughly enjoyed it....
Electricblueyes>M | <s<
~~£âçÎè~~ | I could not enjoy that
Dakini | i dont mean like that tina
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well to me it is kinda fun to have him with someone
| and I am there too, behind
*Night Spirit [HOST] | him (use your imagination) some things do take 3 or
| more, but I used to be
*Night Spirit [HOST] | jealous, but he does love only me
Electricblueyes>M | I know GPD--just given uptrying to
Electricblueyes>M | talk <s>
Lady Rapunzel | Jealous: Solicitous for, or for preservation of
| (rights etc); feeling resentment or envy (of
| person, his advantages etc) on account
Lady Rapunzel | of known or suspected rivalry esp. in sexual love;
| intolerant of disloyalty. (Oxford English
| Dictionary)
Leda | How did you stop being jealous, NS?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | tina has he ever had sex with another in front of
| you?
Erek | <==thinken' I shoulda stayed sippin' my coffee and
| let this one simmer without me
fit to be tied | my (soon to be former) spouse wanted to see me with
| another.... so we worked it
fit to be tied | out.... while he was aroused by the whole thing...
| the jealousy he felt both
fit to be tied | suprises him and devisitated him
*Spartan* | jealousy doesnt come into play that excites as that
| is consented to, the
*Spartan* | emotion of jealousy is not something i conced to,
| as it is stirred from the
*Spartan* | bowels of me and i am not a nice person when that
| happens.............
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Leda when I knew 100% he loved me, besides double
| teaming is exciting, have sex
*Night Spirit [HOST] | and both feet paddled at same time
Dakini | why is love seen as something that is limited, can
| only be given to one, its
Dakini | not like its a cake that there are limited pieces
| of....... i find that so
Dakini | difficult, the idea that if you love one person you
| can not love others
MoL's Katie J | Fantasy turned reality is not always a good thing,
| fit
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Leda, one way is she plays with me to enhance my
| feelings and our togetherness,
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | even while making love to another.
Painter | jealousy...a strange beast...I have never ridden
| properly...it seems...like a
Painter | wild beast unpredictable...and shifts at odd
| angles...
*~tina~* | no NS........neither of us desire any sexual
| activity with anyone else....as
*~tina~* | far as intercourse or oral sex....have you
| expereienced it NS and if you did
*~tina~* | how did you feel?
Leda | I know more than one couple who thought that would
| help a failing relationship,
Leda | fit--and only had it be the final nail in the
| coffin, so to speak.
Erek | Dak - many of us agree that it IS possible to love
| more than one --- at the same time we must
| recognize not everyone is so capable
MoL's Katie J | never felt any, Painter?
lost sutra | why is the love in a relationship d/s any
lost sutra | different than that felt for children...if you
lost sutra | have more than one child do you love one
lost sutra | more than the other.....it is the same with
lost sutra | more than one partner...there is no room
lost sutra | for jealously if there is love in that place
*Night Spirit [HOST] | tina yes GrPa has had sex with others with me right
| there, it was odd and yet
*Night Spirit [HOST] | fasinating to watch....but he loves when I play
| with him during sex, which I
*Night Spirit [HOST] | can't if I am having sex with him
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Leda, I think that can only work with a VERY
| healthy relationship
Filkus | Dak I feel as if i might be able to truly love
| another but when I think of the
Leda | So, NS--it boiled down to a level of confidence
| that you reached in *yourself*
Leda | about yourself and about GPDS's love for you?
Filkus | commitment, I would be doing noting other thatn
| working and interacting w/
Filkus | loves. No time for anything else. Too closed a
| world for me.
Erek | and - like oil and water - a poly does not do well
| trying to change a mono and vice versa
Lady Rapunzel | Can we all agree that jealousy is something, when
| we feel it, we sense is 1) Painful, rather than
| pleasant and 2) Something that
Lady Rapunzel | needs to be dealt with in some way?
Leda | Yes--GP--I think so too. And with two *very*
| confident people. <s> I think if
Leda | one had self-image problems, that could lead to
| trouble.
Filkus | Yes LP
*~tina~* | agree Lady R
Filkus | LR I mean
Monk's Gypsy | i agree LR
Lady Rapunzel | Then may I suggest we look at each of those things
| in turn?
mc | nods at LR
Filkus | Good facilitating LR.
Lady Rapunzel | And any others that anyone might add to that list?
MoL's Katie J | <just loves it when Lady Rap goes Domme on us>
Lady Rapunzel | <laughs>
fit to be tied | <still scrolling>
Leda | <laffin>
Lady Rapunzel | Sorry
Leda | Me too ;-)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes Leda, he plays with others, but it is no
| different then playing chess, he
*Night Spirit [HOST] | only loves me, however it would be interesting if
| he loved them also, it would
*Night Spirit [HOST] | be ok If I loved them too--like the lost family all
| of them love eachother
lost sutra | true, ns
lost toy robot | true <S>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I think if there are problems with a relationship,
| or with one's self image,
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | great care need to be taken
Dakini | all emotions have thieir positive and negative
| side, i would say someone who
Dakini | has never felt jealosy has never felt love either,
| why see it as a problem, the
Dakini | problem is only when we start to act out on it
Leda | Yes--but I wonder if it would be difficult to
| achieve an even balance of love
Leda | with three?
Lady Rapunzel | How, for example, do you cope with admitting that
| jealousy is something that you should/shouldn't
| feel guilty about?
Leda | Yes, GrandPa--I agree.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | sutra is sister to toy, toy is sister to
| sutra--together they are slave to
*Night Spirit [HOST] | lost, and he loves them both
~~£âçÎè~~ | I agree Dak
*Night Spirit [HOST] | lostonearth has to make damn sure sutra and toy
| both feel special
Monk's Gypsy | but if given a choice, i think each one would
| prefer to be the only sub
Lady Rapunzel | Regardless of situation: I think we all established
| that each has their own situation in which jealousy
| arises.
Erek | The lost family is damned lucky - we also had a
| family that gradually came apart because of the
| jealousy of one member <ouch>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | not ever one over the other
Dakini | i dont feel guilty about feeling jealouse i just
| watch it and am interested
Dakini | when and where i feel it
lost sutra | and, ns we also love each other, otherwise
lost sutra | it would not work
lost toy robot | you think so Gypsy? i beg to differ....
*~tina~* | would think it a difficult job NS..lol
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Dakini, it's only a problem when we act NEGATIVLY
| on it
*Night Spirit [HOST] | tina I think so
Lady Rapunzel | Go on, GrPa
Dakini | thats what i said grand
~~£âçÎè~~ | I can't help but act negatively when I feel jealous
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes sutra I know
Lady Rapunzel | What do we consider to be *bad* ways of dealing
| with our feelings of jealousy?
Lady Rapunzel | And what *good* ways?
Dakini | the emotion in itself is just an emotion like any
| other
fit to be tied | long list Lady R
Lady Rapunzel | Go on, fit
MoL's Katie J | verrrrrrrrrrry long list
Lady Rapunzel | So... start talking, Katie!
~~£âçÎè~~ | striking out at others LR
Lady Rapunzel | Okay, that's one
Dakini | well rap, burning someones house down who has
| rejected you for another might
Dakini | be one example
Lady Rapunzel | We all do that
MoL's Katie J | I tend to turn it inside
Lady Rapunzel | Ouch, Dak
Leda | Well--insane rage is a bad way to deal with it.
~~£âçÎè~~ | saying things to hurt the other even when we donot
| mean them
~~£âçÎè~~ | later
Filkus | Attempting to control the actions of another is
| always bad. Jealousy is just a
Filkus | tool used to that end.
MoL's Katie J | and attack myself.
Electricblueyes>M | knowing this will passed unnoticed,
Electricblueyes>M | but what positive way is there to react
Electricblueyes>M | to jealousy???
fit to be tied | bad ways.... accusations... pouting.... stoping the
| communication
*Spartan* | i am sorry, all these views are reaching far beyond
| and that is good for an
*Spartan* | open forum like this, yet, i feel we are
| introducing feelings and topics to
*Spartan* | intertwine with this one, jealousy is jealousy, a
| raw, inert emotion, just as
*Spartan* | love is, yet, i keep hearing the two mixed, but not
| as when a person in love
*Spartan* | feels jealousy towards the other due to a breach of
| trust etc...no, i see here
*Spartan* | the mixing of love using jealousy ?.......i may be
| wrong , but they only mix as
*Spartan* | water and oil do, and those who profess to making
| another jealous to seek out
*Spartan* | their love and affections is playing with fire, and
| truly does not have any
Erek | Feeling hurt by attention paid to others
*Spartan* | value at stake within that relationship........
Lady Rapunzel | Okay, good point, Katie... has everyone done that
| at some point, and how did you get out of it?
Dakini | i did consider it once <s>
~~£âçÎè~~ | there is no positive way
MoL's Katie J | You can talk about it, lacie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | question is how do we stop jealousy from becoming
| worse?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | If we act positivle with jealousy, for instance if
| I meet NS's jealousy with
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | love and tenderness, it's turned aside.
Erek | <===scroll rate lock
MoL's Katie J | that can turn positive
Lady Rapunzel | So we should always communicate it, GrPa?
~~£âçÎè~~ | true Katie...........but it still hurts and leaves
| a negative feeling
Filkus | Yes, jealousy and love are mutualy exclusive.
*~tina~* | <smile Daddy>
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | If I look at my own and see it is an usless,
| unfounded fear, and surpress it,
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | it's ok.
MoL's Katie J | actually, talking about it with MoL made our
| relationship stronger.
Dakini | spartan can anyone *make * another feel jealouse ?
*Spartan* | i am sorry for being so long winded but the two do
| not enhance each
*Spartan* | other........................
Leda | You have to pick your battles, I think, Rap. <g>
| I've felt jealous and known
Leda | it was not merited and let it go.
~~£âçÎè~~ | I think they can Dak
lost toy robot | is not open communication a good way of acting on
| your jealousy? bring it out
lost toy robot | in the open....discuss it....maybe resolve it?
Dakini | we are responsibe for our own emotions
fit to be tied | that is just pushing buttons
MoL's Katie J | I'd have to disagree, Filkus
Lady Rapunzel | Does anyone else feel that communicating it makes
| for a stronger relationship?
lost sutra | when you begin to feel jealous, put yourself into
| the other parties shoes...they are undoubtly
lost sutra | feeling the same things on some level...use it as a
| tool to draw all parties closer together
Filkus | Oh katie?
Leda | But when I think it is merited, I bring it up so
| that we can deal with it.
Erek | GrandPa - but can you suppress it forever - or does
| it come back to bite later
Electricblueyes>M | No! I disagree--jealousy is not so
Electricblueyes>M | easilly overcome--perhaps with you
Electricblueyes>M | GP--not with most!
lost toy robot | <smiling at sutra>
MoL's Katie J | It never had before, Lady R .. but this time, it
| did.
Lady Rapunzel | How do you know when it's merited, Leda?
lost sutra | communication is the only to stop jealously...voice
| it & work through it together
Leda | <S> By what triggered it, Rap.
*~tina~* | Spartan can not *make* me feel anything Dakini, but
| I can react to something he
*~tina~* | does....
Dakini | exactly tina
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | I think that's each person's call LR. If you need
| to work on it, then a caring
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | partner should be able and be willing to help
*~tina~* | yes sutra......
lost sutra | set up times if you have to....work through it
| together
Filkus | LP communication is the ONLY road to a strong
| relationship. I have vowed to my
Filkus | love that I will be honest even if it hurts.
*Spartan* | dak, if one is open to it, the other holds a hand
| of cards they can play at
*Spartan* | anytime.......not a good thing in my eyes.......but
| shows question in the eyes
*Spartan* | of one...
*Night Spirit [HOST] | making someone jealous is foolish, but as many of
| us know, sometimes you have
*Night Spirit [HOST] | to leave someone for another, ---also in D/s is
| jealousy more or less then
*Night Spirit [HOST] | vanilla?
Lady Rapunzel | So, we agree that it's not nice, and we agree that
| perhaps communication with your loved one/s is the
| best way to overcome it?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Erek, if It's that strong, then we need to talk
| about it
Lady Aireanna | very well put GPDS
Erek | I feel that suppressing it is *not a good answer -
| it must be dealt with entirely - in some fashion
| that eliminates it
*~tina~* | bravo Filkus!!
~~£âçÎè~~ | We need to have a discussion on getting bored
| within the
~~£âçÎè~~ | relationship some time
Lady Aireanna | very well put
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Filkus I am impressed, but it shows how in our
| lifestyle honesty and
*Night Spirit [HOST] | communications make trust and makes us what we are
Dakini | a positive way to react to jealousy imo would be to
| recognise it, watch it and
Dakini | look at ways to change it, see where it comes from,
| normaly it is based on a
Dakini | feeling of low self esteam
Erek | and sometimes the only solution may be a parting of
| the ways.
lost sutra | in a prevoius d/s trio i was part of, one of the
| people got jealous & the solution was to set up
lost sutra | days for each & not have them impact upon the
| other's time or time for all three together
Lady Rapunzel | So communication is the way to overcome it, then?
Leda | Sometimes you have to put your feelings on the
| table, though, and say that I
Leda | cannot deal with this thing--whatever it is--
*Night Spirit [HOST] | sutra did this solution work?
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Agree Dakini
lost sutra | yes
Lady Aireanna | communication is the way to over come everything
Leda | and let the other person help you to find
| solutions, whatever they are.
mc | yes
lost sutra | but required communication, open honest
| communication
MoL's Katie J | and that was so hard, sutra
Erek | sutra - again you've used some very operative
| words: Open & Honest
*Night Spirit [HOST] | so once again we mention that all involved must
| feel special or the total
*Night Spirit [HOST] | relationship won't work
MoL's Katie J | such a risk .. but it paid off.
Lord Excalibur | of course ls if its not honest its the same as not
| comunicatting
Lady Rapunzel | And we feel that, within our community, as
| communication is so vital to us anyway, not to
| mention trust and love, that jealousy
Lady Rapunzel | need never completely overwhelm someone if the
| communication is right?
Filkus | The key is to not have fear. Knowing my love loves
| me as she does, I let go of
lost sutra | true
Filkus | fear.
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Let's put it this way, without communications,
| nothing you do will matter, and
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | nothing will save the relationship.
Lady Aireanna | absolutely LR
Dakini | i was in an open relationship once and we both had
| outside partners all was
Dakini | well until i started an affair with my male lovers
| ex girlfriend, then things
Dakini | really went badly wrong ............ i was anoyed
| because the guy was never
Dakini | able to talk about it and what was a great
| relationship failed through lack of
Dakini | communication
Erek | Dak - again, not everyone CAN do it
Leda | I think that's true, Rap--I think if you are
| confident that you are loved, then
Leda | jealousy is manageable, if it appears at all.
Dakini | it was his lack of recognition of his jealousy that
| ruined it
MoL's Katie J | NS and Grandpa, you need to wind up soon?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well most relationships fail because of lack of
| communication
Dakini | and my insensitivity lol
Filkus | Usually when I have feared to say something, my
| fear made the imagination of
Filkus | the potential situation worse than when I finnaly
| bucked up and came cllean.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes Katie
MoL's Katie J | Perhaps, we can continue this discussion next week
| when we do Polys?
Erek | NS - um, I'd disagree a little on that, but it's
| another to[ic
Erek | topic
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Erek <wink> I hope so
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie I think so---ok everyone last thoughts?
MoL's Katie J | ya, the Fear is the worst, Filkus.
Filkus | BTW from a newbies standpoint...thanks for having
| theese discussions...they
Filkus | help A LOT!
mc | yes...thank you
*~tina~* | geez that went fast
mc | <newcomer>
*Spartan* | dak, could it have been a lack of communication on
| ur part prior that hurt and
*Spartan* | caused his jealousy.....
lost sutra | communication is the key, must be open &
lost sutra | honest to be effective
Erek | WHat makes (and therefore breaks) a relationship is
| trust - honest makes trust, dishonesty unmakes it
| and broken trust =
Erek | broken relationship.
Painter | jealousy...is so destructive..:(
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Agree VERY strongly sutra
MoL's Katie J | we can continue, but NS and GrandPa have to leave a
| little early tonight. :)
Filkus | Total honesty, total trust, No Feears. I say that
| to my love when she hesitates.
mc | also agrees with sutra
Lady Rapunzel | <-- stands behind Leda
*Spartan* | perhaps his trust was shot down by ur undertaking
| and not communicating it b 4
*Spartan* | so he was aware....
MoL's Katie J | All of those take work, Filkis
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie can you record and send it to me to post?
Erek | No Fears???
Leda | <standing on a chair>
Dakini | well spartan we did discuss it and he said he was
| fine with it but he did not
Dakini | have an awareness of his jealousy
MoL's Katie J | you bertcha
Filkus | No fears.
Lady Rapunzel | <-- stands behind Leda's chair
Leda | Hate to interrupt--
wondering | goodnight GrPa & NS... thank you <g>
Painter | goodnite...
*Spartan* | ok, i misunderstood then...<s>
Leda | Rap and I are trying to do this in Ch 10 next week
Erek | Sounds too much like a line from the original
| Magnificent 7 movie
Leda | Painter--wait'
lost sutra | <curtsey> good evening GrPa & Huggs to
lost sutra | NS
Leda | AHEM--
Lady Rapunzel | <nodding and saying "Yeah">
Lord Excalibur | night GPDA and NS see you soon
lost toy robot | <deep curtsy> goodnite &thank you, GrPa....hugs to
| NS
Leda | <laffin>
Erek | G'nit GrandPa and NS
*Night Spirit [HOST] | good night we shall continue next week when we
| discuss poly relationships and
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hopefully the lost family will be here
Leda | Raaaaap!!
Filkus | Bye all.
*~tina~* | nitenite GrPa and NS
Lady Rapunzel | HEY!!!
Leda | Help
Lady Rapunzel | LISTEN TO LEDA!!!
mc | goodnight GrPa and NS...nice to meet you
Lady Rapunzel | EVERYONE!!!
fit to be tied | when ladies?
*Spartan* | yes ma'am
*~tina~* | listening
Filkus | C'mon Lead.
lost toy robot | <giggling> us?
*Spartan* | oh my
Leda | <laffin>
Lady Rapunzel | <-- smiles and points to Leda Dakini | gasp
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--off to do Dungeon Duty <kicking dust>
Leda | We are just trying to set up a CO in the rooom
lost sutra | sis, they are asking us to drag him out for
lost sutra | next week??
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Thank you all,
Leda | FRIDAY
Leda | 7 PM EDT
lost toy robot | i guess so sutra <sigh> you gonna tell him or
| should i?
lost toy robot | lol
Leda | CONFERENCE
Lady Rapunzel | MIDNIGHT FOR THE BRITS
Leda | ROOM 10
lost sutra | lol
Dakini | thats a great idea
Leda | Topic to be decided.
Dakini | the earlier the better
Lady Aireanna | hello.......whos conference is this
Lady Rapunzel | Spread the word!
wry§ilk | it's not going to work on a Friday..
MoL's Katie J | I mailed him the announcement, losts.
Dakini | lol
Lady Rapunzel | It's everyone's, LA
MoL's Katie J | Want me to do a mailing?
Leda | Early, silkie
lost toy robot | lol...thanks katie
Leda | Would you, Katie?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | send me an announcement to it Leda and Lady R
lost sutra | thanks katie
Leda | <S>
Dakini | im only up now cos im so excited !
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--is gone
Lady Rapunzel | <smile> Thanks, NS
Leda | Hugs, NS
Dakini | its 2am for me here
lost toy robot | nite NS
MoL's Katie J | hugggggs, NS
mc | katie...add me to the mailing please....
Leda | tina and Spartan got some good discussions going in
| 10 this weekend--we're
Leda | hoping something like that develops. <s>
*~tina~* | good luck Leda ,g>
Lady Rapunzel | <-- standing behind Leda and saying "Yeah! What she
| said!"
GrandPaDeSade[Host] | Bye all.
MoL's Katie J | done, mc
Master Joseph | hello everyone<s>
*~tina~* | bye3bye all...see you over there
Leda | <BG>@tina
MoL's Katie J | good night GrandPa and thank you and NS
Dakini | anyway as i was saying .......... everyone should
| just fuck everyone else its
Dakini | the only way to be
Dakini | lol
mc | <s> thanks Katie
Leda | Hugggss tina
fit to be tied | <wonders why kaite hasn't put me on the mailing
| list hmmmmm>
wondering | lol Dak
Master Joseph | what has leda done now/....lol
MoL's Katie J | <slapping head>
*~tina~* | me either fit
fit to be tied | LOL Dak
mc | lol
Leda | LOL MJ
Erek | "No enemies?" "None living." "Now that's arithmatic
| I can understand!" Somehow No fears strikes me as
| the same sort of - well brag
lost sutra | brb
Leda | <--spouting leftist rhetoric ;-)
lost toy robot | <heading off to see if he's still lost.....coming
| sutra?
Master Joseph | oh that
Leda | <fist in the air> Fight da power <G>
Lady Rapunzel | GRRRRRLLLLL!
fit to be tied | laffin
Lady Rapunzel | <laughing>
wry§ilk | gotta return a movie.. see you all in a bit..
Master Joseph | well likw I said give me a couple of years leda and
| you'll see the light
Dakini | well all, its ben great but i got work tomorrow ,
| night all
Master Joseph | after all you are a smart woman<s>
Dakini | bye
wondering | goodnight Dak
Leda | ;-p
fit to be tied | <gonna do some writing now... see you all later>
Master Joseph | good night Dak
Leda | MJ
Monk's Gypsy | good night all
mc | hoping so Master Joseph, Sir
Master Joseph | yes leda?
wondering | see ya Fit
Leda | ;-p
Leda | That was all
Master Joseph | LOL
fit to be tied | hugggsss wondering...<BG>
Filkus | Anything good in the juke box?
Leda | Neeeed fooooood . . . bbl
Leda | Huggggggsss all. :-)
Master Joseph | bye everyone
wondering | oooh... good idea Leda <g>... bye all
mc | <new here.....was a bit hard to follow>
Lady Rapunzel | <- hugs Leda into monochrome
Master Joseph | guess I chased everyone out
MoL's Katie J | ok, I made the changes <s>
Filkus | {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lady Rapunzel}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Filkus | You are gifted inthought.
Lady Rapunzel | <- hugs Filkus <smile>
MoL's Katie J | not at all, Master J .. we wound up a little early
| today.
Erek | Grrrr
MoL's Katie J | NS and GrandPa had to leave early.
mc | goodnite everyone....see in in a bit
lost sutra | <following sis>
Lady Rapunzel | <cute southern twang> Why thankya, Sir <curtsey>
Erek | <dusting self off and fastening mu own seat belt
MoL's Katie J | <tossing Erek a cyberline <g>
Erek | CIS is getting so it hates DOS programs - and I
| hate Windozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Erek | <===Just a command line junkie <g>
MoL's Katie J | obviously it knows that.
MoL's Katie J | <g>
MoL's Katie J | sure, it's a Dom thing
MoL's Katie J | Commands, commands commands.
Erek | Dropdown menus are fer sissies??? <g>
MoL's Katie J | I prefer Dos as well.
Erek | Not enough bite to that
MoL's Katie J | and i'm a sub.
Erek | LOL
MoL's Katie J | and I still use the keyboard commands.
MoL's Katie J | even in Windows.
Erek | So - Dom or sub it's a question of prefrences about
| HOW one uses soemthing - or gets used, come to
| think on it
Filkus | LOL katie
Lady Rapunzel | No, Katie. You're MoL's sub. Different. It's not a
| general term, it's a Badge of Honour <smile>
MoL's Katie J | oooh, Lady Rap .. you say the most wonderful things
| <SSS>
Lady Rapunzel | <-- just tellin' it like I see it.
MoL's Katie J | I always liked the hands on approach , Erek
Lady Rapunzel | <-- agrees, Katie <laughs>
MoL's Katie J | yes, I'm very proud to be His.
Erek | <eyes hands and agrees <g>>
Erek | Whcih may be why cyber is not my thang
Erek | sheesh
Lady Rapunzel | <-- agreed
Erek | Which
MoL's Katie J | there's always the phone, Erek .. gives you one
| hand free anyway
MoL's Katie J | <g,d&r>
Erek | <Dommin those typos!!!!>
Erek | GRRRRR
Erek | Not into one handed typin neither <g>
MoL's Katie J | I dont' type on the phone, trust me.
Lady Rapunzel | <laffin>
Erek | If'n I want the, hmmm, sensations I have a live
| sub, prefer to use the phone and computerr to
| communicate ideas
MoL's Katie J | live is best.
Erek | ((Or get ideas that then sometimes get tried on
| with the sub <eg>))
MoL's Katie J | no coubt about that.
MoL's Katie J | doubt,e ven
MoL's Katie J | see, I got these long fingernails for MoL and my
| typing has gone all to hell.
Erek | <=== Dropping another nickle in the *Dyslextic
| Flingers* collection box
MoL's Katie J | the things we do for our Masters.
MoL's Katie J | <fyslexic dingers>
MoL's Katie J | and I'm off to put the kids to bed <smile>
MoL's Katie J | Thanks for coming.
********** 4/26/98 9:06 PM End logging Sub Pub - D/s.