Long Distance
Relationships (LDR)
********** 4/5/98 5:38 PM Begin logging Sub Pub - D/s.
Mollie | hello?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hello Mollie
*Katie J* | <peeking in>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs little sis
*Katie J* | hugs, big sis <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | did you get a chance to announce to the room?
| or should I send Grpa?
Mollie | hi night spirit
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya Mollie
*Katie J* | I didn't say anything yet, NS
Mollie | what's up here?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | GrandPa can you run to room 10 and announce this CO
| Mollie we are planning a CO on LDRs
GrandPaDeSade | OK, will do
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hello Master looking :)
Painter | mmmmmHello<s>
*Katie J* | huggggs, Painter
Painter | ((((((kate))))<s>
honey | hi
*Katie J* | hiya honey
honey | hi katie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya Painter and honey
*Katie J* | hello, Master
| hiya Mollie :)
Painter | Welcome honey...Night Spirit....
honey | hi night
| hi painter
*Katie J* | hugggggggs, tina :)
*~tina~* | hiya all
honey | what's everyone up to tonight
*~tina~* | huggss Katie <s>
*Katie J* | a D/s conference ....... Subject: Long Distance
| Relationships/Romance ... something with which
| we've all had some experience.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | major hugs tina
*~tina~* | stinging swats NS <g>
| lol
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <ggl>
Painter | ((((((tina)))))
*~tina~* | huggss Painter <s>
| nice place.....here
Kentucky Man | alot of hugs huh ?
Painter | mmmthey will show uo honey they always do<s>
*Katie J* | anyplace is nice with your friends <S>
exile102 | Good evening....
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hello exile
*Katie J* | good evening, exile :)
*~tina~* | hiya Exile<s>
Leda | Hiyas, all.
*~tina~* | kisses Leda <s>
*Katie J* | hugggggggs, Leda :)
Leda | Hugggggss, Katie, sis. :-)
exile102 | ooohh...why is my AOL name up here...LOL
Painter | mmmmkate want me to go to Dom let them know?
exile102 | hi NS
Leda | Hey tina--ltns. <S>
exile102 | hi kaitie
| hi tina
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya Leda Paintr we sent GrPa there
*Katie J* | They should know, Painter .. I announced before I
| came.
Painter | <s>@Leda...
Leda | I just left there, Painter, and mentioned that it
| was Conference time.
*Katie J* | errrr, before I came here.
Painter | ok..<s>
Leda | Hello, btw, Painter. :-)
Exile | There...thats better...
*Katie J* | <whew> needed to make that clear <G>
Daisy | <S>
*Katie J* | hiya Daisy
Leda | And hello, NS, Exile, everyone. :-)
*Katie J* | huggggs, Exile :)
Exile | <huggs> daisy
fit to be tied | hugs KJ
Painter | btwthanks....<s>
Exile | hi fit
*~tina~* | hiya fit <s>
fit to be tied | hiya Exile
*Katie J* | hugggggggggs, fit :)
Exile | <smiling happily>
*~tina~* | Daisy <s>
fit to be tied | hugs tina
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya fit
Leda | Re's fit.
Daisy | hugggs to all
fit to be tied | hiya NS
| hugss Leda
ludovic HARDOUIN | bonjour tout le monde
*Katie J* | <wondering if GrandPa took a flogger with him>
Leda | LOL Katie
*Katie J* | hello, lucovic ... we're getting ready for a D/s
| conference ....
Exile | hi ludo
*Katie J* | Subject: Long Distance Relationships/Romance ...
| something with which we've all had some experience.
Leda | <thinking about going back to D/s if he did> <G>
*Katie J* | he's back, Leda .. not to worry <G>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well in about 3 minutes we shall start--tonight's
| subject is LDR long distance romance/relationships
| we all need handy tips from it
ludovic HARDOUIN | merci a toutes vous ne parlez pas francais?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | ^5 Katie I love it
~tempest~ | i found you <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs tempest
*Katie J* | ya, how do you fit the tip through the phone?
~tempest~ | huggss NS
Leda | Hey temp <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie with a phonejack
Kentucky Man | I had one long distant relationship....it did not
| turn out well.
~tempest~ | hello Leda <S>
*Katie J* | that's the part I always have trouble with.
fit to be tied | hugssss tempy
Leda | LOL
~tempest~ | hugggss fit
*Katie J* | hugggggggggs, tempest!
~tempest~ | (((((((((((((Katie))))))))))))))) hey Sis <s>
Lord Excalibur | Good morning room apologies LAdy Aireanna and I are
| a litte late
Exile | hello tempest
~tempest~ | hello Exile
Daisy | hugggs tempie
Exile | hello LE
Leda | Hello LE
*Katie J* | welcome, Lord Excalibur and Lady Arienna
~tempest~ | hi Daisy
Leda | And Lady A. <s>
Painter | I am ready...<s>
Lady Aireanna | hello
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Ok let's finish up the groping and begin shall we?
~tempest~ | hello Lord Excalibur and Lady A <s>
Exile | hello LA
Lord Excalibur | hello all
*Katie J* | <types everyones full name the first time
| .......even Endes>?
~tempest~ | what is the topis tonight?
Lord Excalibur | thank you for the welcome
*Katie J* | Subject: Long Distance Relationships/Romance ...
| something with which we've all had some experience.
GrandPaDeSade | Groping? Where?
~tempest~ | hmmm good topic
*Katie J* | <--- macro ready and able <G>
~tempest~ | hello GrPa Sir <s>
Kentucky Man | lol katie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | as many of you know lDR is long distance I would
| guess most or all of us have
GrandPaDeSade | Hello tempie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | done it
ludovic HARDOUIN | i speake a littol english
*Night Spirit [HOST] | how do we survive it?
GrandPaDeSade | How are you?
Painter | Hangs up from long distant calllYes?....<s>
Lady Aireanna | crossing room to LE and kneeling beside him
~tempest~ | alot of money to the phone company..that is how
| Master and i survived it
Leda | I would say endure it rather than survive it, NS.
| With patience and a good sense of humor, overall, I
| guess. And some degree on ingenuity. <s>
*Katie J* | :hugs: Elder:
breeeze | hello all <waving>
Lord Excalibur | My slave and I know about long distance
| relationships, me being in England and she in
| California
Lady Aireanna | wrapping my arm around his leg.
~tempest~ | it wa so hard to talk to him on the phoen after we
| met for the first time..it was heartbreaking to be
| apart again
Leda | Wow--that is ld, Lord E.
Eldersign | :enters and sits quietly:
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Lord E how do you keep it from falling apart?
~tempest~ | hello Elder Sir <s>
Lord Excalibur | You must all belive that what I tell you is true
Leda | I go through that every Sunday night, temp. :-(
| And knowing I'll see him in a few days doesn't make
| it easier *right then*
*Katie J*[Room 6] | How do you make it work, Lord E?
Kentucky Man | believe you ?
~tempest~ | i knwo hon, i know
Lord Excalibur | I control her mind
*Katie J*[Room 6] | How?
Kentucky Man | oh my gawd
Lord Excalibur | but we are both totally comitted to each other
breeeze | i personally find LRD better than any other type
Leda | Why, breeeze?
Kentucky Man | What controls your mind lord E?
GrandPaDeSade | Yes, why?
breeeze | i am a single mom-requires most of my time, energy,
| so when i see my friend i can be totally into him,
| the quantity is less, but the quality is intense
~tempest~ | Kentucky Man..please pay attention and listen
| respectfully <sweet smile>
Leda | Yes, breeeze, that's very true.
Exile | Does an LDR have to have a 3-D aspect to it???
Painter | Im a newbie...err LRD..?<s>
breeeze | and i get bored easily<S>- seeing someone every day
~tempest~ | i understand breeze...i am also a single mother (
| well, i was) and it was hard devoting time to
| someone else
Lord Excalibur | I control that, but the it is powered by the power
| I have over LA
Exile | Can you make it work without meeting??
Kentucky Man | I am a single father.
breeeze | an eventual meeting i think is essential
Lord Excalibur | LA and I meet every six weeks
Kentucky Man | with joint custody
Leda | I can agree to a large degree, breeeze--it makes
| the times you are together very intense and very
| special
*Katie J*[Room 6] | good question, Exile :)
~tempest~ | quite a feat considering your distance LE
Kentucky Man | I have hime every other weekend
Exile | A true LDR requires it to be LD only....
| but I dont think that they can survive the rigours
| of reality...
breeeze | it depends what you are looking for
Kentucky Man | hmmm
Leda | Well, Exile--arguably, it may survive because it
| *avoids* some of the rigours of reality.
breeeze | if you want a spouse kind of relationship- no way
Exile | Unless you only want something short-term
Kentucky Man | <--- pensive.
Lord Excalibur | it depends on how dedicated you are
Exile | Very true Leda....
| but for how long??
breeeze | leda- so true
Leda | <S> A year, so far.
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Those of you who have had LDRs .. that never went
| to Real Life ... how long did it last?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | but Lord E it must not be easy to keep it fresh and
| alive
Lord Excalibur | if you only keep a LDR , LD then it is just a
| fantasy in your mind
Exile | Did you say you had or had not met yet Leda??
~tempest~ | i think it is very hard on the heart and soul to
| deal with theconstant disappointment of being apart
| for too long...you must eventually be together, or
| something changes i think
Lord Excalibur | NS we meet each day...........
breeeze | i agree-
Kentucky Man | IMagee here too.
Leda | Together irl for a year, Exile--we see eachother 3
| weekends out of 4 and one night during the week
| every week.
Lord Excalibur | I constantly think of new images for LA
Kentucky Man | agree
Mollie | hi
Exile | I wonder if that is truely and LDR Leda
Kentucky Man | hi Mollie.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Lord E do you give each other highlights of your
| days?
Mollie | hi there
breeeze | LDR- distance that comes between ones desire to be
| together
Leda | <S> feels that way to me, Exile, but your point is
| well taken.
Lord Excalibur | She responds so well to this ............. yes we
| do, we talk as in vanilla and D/s
Exile | The physical distance may be great but you are able
| to met up and see each other..touch each other etc
| You know it is Real
Leda | Yes.
Lord Excalibur | Yes Exile that is correct we DO feel each other
*Night Spirit [HOST] | LDR is basically a relationship not together all
| the time--even military spouses put up with that,
| or those who see each other only on week-ends
Leda | Far different than if he lived in England and me in
| the US, I certainly agree. Or if we had not met
| face to face--or only infrequently.
breeeze | yes
Exile | Yes, NS...I can see that part...thats clear...thats
| traditional
Kentucky Man | see me.. feel me ...touch me....da da da
Lord Excalibur | Then we are no differant I get home onleave every
| six weeks
| do you mock me KM
effy | [waves] sorry i am late
~tempest~ | hello effy <S>
Lord Excalibur | hi effy
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I used to have one with a DOM who later moved in
| with me, but for months it was on-line and phone
| calls...I felt it very hard to stay this way---it
| hurt alot when we were apart
Leda | <waves back> hey effy. :-)
naughty sub f | <kneeling in the corner,,,,dog collar and leash
| <naked>
breeeze | and the relationship part is what the two people
| make of it- there are so many different levels of
| relationship
~tempest~ | my first online Master lived in England while i was
| in Ohio...it really was hell
breeeze | what happened when he moved in NS?
Kentucky Man | oh really nauty
Painter | mmmwords...regardless of on-line,phone...mean
| things it is NOT trivial..<s>
Exile | but could you make it work for you tempie
Lord Excalibur | NS I agree at times it can be touch
naughty sub f | <eyes down submissively
| waiting for laurence
Lord Excalibur | NS I wish LA to tell of her first Master
Leda | I have to say, i do like my space and it would be
| difficult to give up the time I am alone. But I
| think that as time goes on I am more and more eager
| for us to live together.
~tempest~ | ;-( he broke my heart Exile...but that is another
| topic
*Night Spirit [HOST] | breeze it went well until he got another LDR
| on-line...he left me for her
Leda | Ahhhh . . . temp. Was part of it the distance?
Exile | tempie, thats how i think all LDRs without 3-D
| meetings will inevitably end up
breeeze | ooohh.. i think i would laways wonder .. sorry to
| hear that
~tempest~ | yes...he found someone real life...but couldn't let
| me go...it was very hard
Lord Excalibur | NS he was obviously not dedicated to you,
Leda | I remember, temp. <huggss>
Exile | call me a cynic, but if you never meet the person
| you cannot gain trust and respect
Leda | Seems so long ago, doesn't it? <s>
~tempest~ | huggsss hon...i am much better now <G>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile if that is true then why do we as on-line
| persons keep getting into these relationships?
Leda | I know. <G>
~tempest~ | yes...another life
mike a. | Hi all
breeeze | You will find someone better- its in the Kharma- i
| feel it for you
naughty sub f | <listening>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya mike and welcome
Exile | because they are temporary solaces for us all
*Night Spirit [HOST] | like I used to call it--a quick fix
Lord Excalibur | hi mikw
effy | ya know -- i used to be able to maintain online
| relationships, but lately -- i cannot get the same
| feel from em
Lord Excalibur | mike
kara (C) | i think that is true Exile
breeeze | must they always be temporary?
Kentucky Man | amen Exile.....you need to see body language ...
| tone of voice...eye contact.
Leda | I've never had a cyber relationship, Exile . . .
| but I agree with you. I think the emotions must be
| very real--but how long can you sustain something
| that is never tangible?
effy | there's something irreplaceable in a touch
*Night Spirit [HOST] | so how can we keep these relationships fresh and
| alive---we mentioned there has to be a 3d meet
| sometime
Exile | unless you meet it is just a paliative for
| something missing from our own lives...
~tempest~ | yes effy...i got so fed up with online..i almost
| did not gibe\ve my darling Dom a chance when we
| first met
Leda | Yep--exactly, effy.
Exile | how many of us here are not missing something IRL
*Night Spirit [HOST] | we all feel some sort of communications daily helps
Lord Excalibur | ~tempest}~ have you tried the voice mail in cserve
effy | [shrugs] it seems that everyone comes off online as
| a player
Exile | how many of us just feel we would like a friend....
~tempest~ | no Lord Excalibur
Exile | and here is a place to find friends without the
| struggles of 3-D
effy | made lotsa good, no make that *great*, friends here
| tho
Kentucky Man | Compuserve has voice mail.... ? I am new to Cserve.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | but are we here to find friendships or
| relationships?
~tempest~ | i come here because i can't be as open with my so
| called r/l friends
Leda | Unless you don't play, effy. <g> Kinda sorts the
| wheat from the chaff.
breeeze | i think to keep it going requires not telling
| everything you do and think. Does that make sense?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes Kentucky man it sure does
Exile | I agree effy....many of my best friends are online
Kentucky Man | where/how
effy | Leda -- i have been known to tease, but i cannot
| maintain something serious here, it seems
| completely ludicrious to me
breeeze | there always has to be room to grow and expolre
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I have gone to 4 or 5 meets on line from ch. 10ers
| and enjoyed them all
*~tina~* | we all need a support group, and for some of us
| this is it......many do not have the opportunity to
| find rt suppost <bdsm>...
Exile | thats true tempie....my personal problems were
| first shared with people here not IRL
kara (C) | i never thought i would be online, i came here when
| i was separating from my husband.......very painful
| time for me, and i have met lots of wonderful
| people <s>
Exile | they were too hard to handle in real life
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Kentucky GO FINDIT and type voicemail in it
~tempest~ | yes Exile...i really discovered myself here
GrandPaDeSade | <--Has gone to some too with NS
~tempest~ | huggsss tina and kara
Lord Excalibur | it is easy to set up
effy | i love going to the meets :)
*Katie J*[Room 6] | There is always someone to talk to here :)
*~tina~* | <s> tempie<s>
~tempest~ | yes effy <S>
Leda | Yes--effy, I know what you mean. <s>
Lord Excalibur | I leave strories for LA and she does for me
kara (C) | so true Katie.........i love that <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | tina you are right, when SL left me, I went on-line
| to find solice
Leda | I came here to find like-minded folk, though my
| friends irl know that I'm into this and are very
| supportive.
Exile | <---wonders what its like to actualy meet someone
| from here
breeeze | my friends are shocked!!
| IRL friends
effy | Exile -- i can say all the folks i have met are
| very nice
Leda | <G> My are more shocked that I'm sub and not Domme,
| breeeze.
~tempest~ | some of my friends in ohio knew...but i haven't met
| anyone here in my new life that i feel comfortable
| enough with
Leda | My=mine
kara (C) | lol.......mine too breeze
*~tina~* | many of my dearest and most trusted frinds I have
| found here....<feeling very fortunate right now>
~tempest~ | lol Leda
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well I am hoping to have a get-together here in San
| Francisco end of Sept. during the folsom st. faire
Exile | i'm not sure how I would react effy
~tempest~ | <s> tina
effy | it is better to do it inna group, Exile
Exile | <s>@ tina..thats true for many I think
kara (C) | didn't know you were in Ca. NS
effy | there are many wodnerful people here that i have
| been fortunate enuf to meet
*~tina~* | yes Exile.....<s>
Exile | I would think so effy...but harder to arrange..<s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yep kara right south of San Francisco
Leda | I agree, effy. <s> And some I've been fortunate
| enough to meet irl. :-)
kara (C) | i live in santa barbara
~tempest~ | i used to live in Vallejo for a brief bit
breeeze | it is very exciting to meet- but you cannot have
| too high hopes, expect the worst, hope fro the
| best, and take it moment by moment
~tempest~ | very good advice breeze
Leda | That's good advice
effy | i wish we were having another get together in vegas
| :)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I used to live in Sonoma, I know vallejo well
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ya, that's what I keep telling myself, Breeze <G>
Exile | thats true even in life breeze...lol
| its just even harder in here...
fit to be tied | awww KJ..... you will be very happy.... as will MoL
~tempest~ | <S> NS...iw a sonly there for two months or so
breeeze | i think in some ways its easier
Leda | Well--I think the expectations tend to be higher,
| Exile . . .and the disappointments harder
breeeze | to meet people here
Lance | HI everyone, I'm Lance. You have 2 minutes to log
| off unless you want me to know your names and
| credit card details. You have been warned.
Exile | we all have images of our friends that probably
| will not be met when we meet
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well do many here feel once you meet that the real
| life person is or isn't anything like the on-line
| person?
*Katie J*[Room 6] | stupid move, Lance.
Leda | Because, to some degree, you feel as if you get to
| know the people online *well*
~tempest~ | i've met you both Katie...i have no doubts of your
| happiness <s>
effy | i do have to say this -- it seemed much more
| acceptable to be into bdsm out west than it does
| back east - tho there seems to be more activity out
| here.
mike a. | I an in Long Beach
Lord Excalibur | NS we had that problem when we first met
GrandPaDeSade | Bye Lance
*~tina~* | yes NS
~tempest~ | i think you get to know them better
| Leda..especially when it comes to D/s
*Katie J*[Room 6] | thanks, tempie <s>
~tempest~ | peopel are more open i think
breeeze | you should try it in the BIBLE BELT!!!
*Night Spirit [HOST] | poor Lance had to leave....
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <waving at Lance>
*~tina~* | DITTO effy!!....lol
Lord Excalibur | we met and the chemistry was not totally there
fit to be tied | if you spend enought time with the person here
| before meeting them... the meeting can be icing on
| the cake
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Nice shot, Sis .. home run!
effy | lol, breeze, i did -- i moved to LA as a result
Exile | <smiling at the muli-part squelch>
effy | ^5 sis :)
Lord Excalibur | we parted friends
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yep kinda got this smacking people around down
Leda | Yeah--temp, but there's some "danger" in that.
Lord Excalibur | but never parted in our minds
Exile | or the biggest horror fit
~tempest~ | true Leda
Leda | Because sometimes what seems to be someone being
| "open" is anything but that.
Lord Excalibur | at that time she was known as Lady Juliet
effy | i think the one saving grace this forum (online)
| has is that it allows people to lower thier safety
| shields and lets you see who they really are
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Lord E a question--how does one find chemistry on
| line or is it only in 3d?
Exile | the more time here the greater the expectation the
| harder the fall
Lord Excalibur | while I travelled back she found D/s
fit to be tied | not if youpay attention to the details Excile
| Exile even
~tempest~ | chemistry is definietly online
| definitely even
*~tina~* | or effy.....who they really *want* to be....
Exile | I suppose trust and honesty are the keys there fit
Lord Excalibur | I had told her of my D/s
kara (C) | i can't believe how intense it can be
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Exile, that's a huge part of any D/s relationship
| <S>
fit to be tied | a person can only hide there true self here for so
| long
effy | well -- there's that tina -- and ultimately -0-
| isn't that who / what they wish to be able to be?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | ok how do you know if you can trust someone online?
Exile | obviously...but even more so if you ever intend to
| meet
Leda | I think it was for me, temp. I think that I was
| attracted to Mentor because I was really turned on
| by what I got to know about him *online*.
Lord Excalibur | she was taken by SG, but in her mind she stayed
| with me
~tempest~ | yes Leda <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | fit you made an excellant point
breeeze | I agree Exile- i can spot the players eaily
Leda | I don't know that I would have even given him a
| shot if we'd just met irl first. <g>
breeeze | easily
*Katie J*[Room 6] | online, you communicate in ways that you never
| would 3D.
Exile | you dont think that people sometimes deceive
| themselves fit???
effy | it lets you get by your normal predjudices, Leda?
Lord Excalibur | which points to D/s beiong more of the mind than of
| the physical
Leda | Yep, Katie--and since you get to know someone's
| personality, all the other factors are less
| important.
fit to be tied | of course... but that is a choice you make
Leda | Yep, effy, exactly.
Exile | agree LE...most definitely
Lord Excalibur | as I had more power over her than SG
*~tina~* | I just mean effy...that many come online to live
| out thier fantasies mebbe?.....be the person that
| they arent really in rt........just think it can
| lead to disaster sometimes when people meet in
| rt.......not saying all are like that....but IMX I
| have seen that happen....<kisses to you btw>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well on-line you meet the person inside long before
| you meet the looks--is this better?
~tempest~ | yes!
Exile | yes
Leda | Good point, tina--sometimes, for some people, I
| think, the fantasy doesn't translate to reality.
Exile | but can lead to disappointment
fit to be tied | exactly
Leda | And that's fine. <s>
Lord Excalibur | we have advanced further than SG could have ever
| tsken her
crickett | whew made it
spoons | don't know u but hi
Exile | hi crickett
breeeze | a question, what if you meet, its not there, hpw do
| you communicate that after someone has travelled so
| far?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I agree Leda
~tempest~ | huggsss crickett
kara (C) | hi crickett
effy | some are like that tina -- but for others -- it
| lets them be who they are and explore that --
| especially if they were not able to assert that
| IRL< kisses back >
Leda | Oh--yes, NS! What you said, exactly.
fit to be tied | you must understand the difference between fantasy
| and reality
crickett | hello exil
Exile | you have to tell them honestly and quickly breeze
| before it goes too far into 3-D
~tempest~ | you should talk about that before they come breeze
*Night Spirit [HOST] | fit I find many do not understand the
| differences--esp in D/s
effy | amen NS
breeeze | well i have the understanding of no promises
effy | there's great danger in that
Exile | you cannot meet and then try to lie through the
| meeting...be honest...but you can still be friends
Leda | It's hard to know that, fit, if you've never
| experienced the reality before. <s>
crickett | ~~~~~~waving at kara,Leda, tempie,fit, oppss Exile
| (sorry)
Lord Excalibur | this is true NS
fit to be tied | true.... you must really spend a lot of time
| thinking about who you are and what you want... and
| why... and if that is something that can be real
*~tina~* | I met Spartan in rt...without seeing a pic of him
| first, I loved him already....didnt matter what he
| looked like........I do agree that online can allow
| you to get to know the real person inside.....as
| long as they are honest <s>
spoons | ok one more time (18 people not one hello)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I mean really how many of us would enter a room,
| naked and kneel right away unless trained to
Leda | That's why both Doms and subs have to play first
| meetings safely.
effy | <raising hand>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya spoons
~tempest~ | true NS
Leda | Same here, tina--and I agree completely. :-)
~tempest~ | hello spoons
Exile | hi spoons
| true Leda
*~tina~* | <s> Leda.....
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Welcome to the D.s conference ...Subject: Long
| Distance Relationships/Romance ... something with
| which we've all had some experience.
~tempest~ | i had a picture of Mind...but he hadn't seen me...i
| was a wreck
crickett | i think i missed alot here
kara (C) | hi spoons
Leda | <thinks that tina and Spartan even *look* exactly
| right together, btw> :-)
Exile | about 30 minutes crickett
fit to be tied | i met my Dom in an airport on a four hour layover
| on a trip is was talking..... this was very quick
| and safe... and btw worked
~tempest~ | <--agrees with Leda
Lord Excalibur | we played on line although we had met, it
| certainly helped in our eventiual D/smeeting
crickett | i know Exile but kids come first
*~tina~* | lol..Leda <g>
Exile | fit...i think that is the right approach...safe and
| easy
breeeze | always a public meeting first
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I agree tina, this brings back the fantasy vs.
| reality--how many of us don't tell the whole truth
Leda | That's a great place to meet, fit.
| <blowing kisses to crickett, btw>
fit to be tied | at some point you have to fess up to those little
| white lies
*Night Spirit [HOST] | fit a very good idea
Lord Excalibur | NS the whole truth is esential
Exile | no-one should risk a 2 week holiday with a total
| stranger even based on 6
Exile | months of online honesty
breeeze | i personally cannot tolerate dishonesy- bad Kharma
breeeze | again
~tempest~ | ooops, gotta go all...huggggssss
fit to be tied | of course not
effy | that;s much too long, Exile
*~tina~* | bye tempie
Leda | Huggsss, temp
*Katie J*[Room 6] | hugs, tempie
fit to be tied | bye tempy...huggs
crickett | what white lies....i havent told any....what you
| see here <except for the poor
crickett | typing skills > is what you get
Exile | agreed fit and effy...butt how many try it...??
Exile | bye tempie <huggs>
kara (C) | bye tempest
effy | some do
Leda | LOL crickett
fit to be tied | a lot i think Exile
*Night Spirit [HOST] | breeze a public meeting may not be possible---let's
| say I live in NYC and you
*Night Spirit [HOST] | lived in Florida we plan to meet and spend the
| week-end--where is safe?
crickett | well it is true Leda
fit to be tied | LOL crick
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ya, I'm a Popeye gal .. I yam what I yam.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | go to dinner and meet if not work--ditch the person?
Exile | so thats my point.......if we understood each other
| why is that a risk..
Leda | I know that, sis. I was laffin at your typing
| skill reference. :-)
crickett | thanks fit <pout>
Exile | we do not truly know each other unless or until we
| meet IRL
fit to be tied | <BG@crik>
crickett | i know Leda
Lord Excalibur | True Excile
crickett | <s> at fit
GrandPaDeSade | But meet in public the first time. go to dinner or
| something!
breeeze | have yopur own room reservation- a place to go if it
breeeze | doesn't work, meet at the hotel cocktail lounge for
breeeze | example
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile but does that even give you a clear picture?
Lord Excalibur | I said earlier A and I found this
*Night Spirit [HOST] | good idea breeze :)
Exile | no but its one hell of a lot clearer than even 6
| months of online chat
breeeze | instinct is essential- you must trust it
fit to be tied | very true breeze
Lord Excalibur | agreed breeze
Exile | should there not be some establishe dprotocols or
| advice for first meetings
effy | if you get warning signs -- even things that niggle
| at you -- TRUST your INSTINCTS
GrandPaDeSade | But even instinct can be wrong
Leda | Instinct, yes, breeeze, but I think you have to
| take precautions even beyond
Leda | instinct for first meetings. <s>
Lord Excalibur | there are Excile
Exile | that people here can offer to others intending to
| meet
breeeze | safe words!
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <trusting my friend's instincts <giggle>
crickett | theres that trust word again <shudder>
fit to be tied | also..... it helps to talk to people here who know
| that person in real life
GrandPaDeSade | there is no substitute for caution.
Leda | Yes, GPDS.
*~tina~* | <--remebers a story of a lady who had been in a
| online relationship for many
*~tina~* | many months mebbe even a year, she went to live
| with her Maaster and he put her
*~tina~* | in a coma by beating with a phone........very
| scary...
Exile | yes tina...very scarey
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well I have said that on-line is very one deminisal
| <sp> you can see the words
*Night Spirit [HOST] | but not the inflections----phone is a little
| better, but 3d is best--see the
*Night Spirit [HOST] | body language
Lord Excalibur | We have had all three NS
crickett | i just wish i could type emoitions.....
Exile | we should all make an effort to make sure that
| those here who do intend to meet
Exile | get the best advice from all of us...their
| friends>>>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | I imagine after you've met, the phone and online
| get easier <g>
*~tina~* | good thinking Exile <S>
Lord Excalibur | having the regular meetings amplifys the on line
| and phone
fit to be tied | yes i agree Exile
effy | you know -- Valkyrie has written some excellent
| articles about this all --
fit to be tied | yes KJ.... it does... hang in there <wink>
breeeze | i agree LE
Leda | Hate to be scary, but . . .I think we all have to
| remember that some of the
Leda | worst predators are so effective because they are
| so adept at fooling people.
Leda | So trust your instinct, yes, but don't ever let
| trust in those instincts make
Leda | your drop common sense defenses too. <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile that is good advise but then again--how many
| will actually listen?
Exile | agreed Leda
GrandPaDeSade | Remember, there is a reason they call con men that
crickett | <listens>
Exile | well NS...its the best we can do..
*~tina~* | <nodding>
Lord Excalibur | I remember warning LA when she first met SG to let
| someone know where she was
Exile | we canot actually go out there into the real world
| like john Wayne and save
Exile | these people
~ßi®d™~ | <coming in to sit quietly, listening to the
| comments, etc.>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | LE and did she?
~ßi®d™~ | <hugs katie sis>
Lord Excalibur | yes she told me
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <hugs Birdie sis>
Exile | but we can all together offer the best advice
breeeze | i think you shuld let a friend know who you are
| meeting,
breeeze | name, phone, address, everything you know about
breeeze | their vanilla life, then let that person know you
| have told
breeeze | others
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hello bird nice seeing you :)
ed | Hi Everyone Especially the ladies.
Drifter | hi
~ßi®d™~ | hi NS!!!
Leda | <waving to the new arrivals>
Exile | that goes without saying breeeze...but again how
| many do it??
effy | <just listening now>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hiya ed
breeeze | i do
Exile | never meet anyone without an address and a phone
| number for them
effy | how do you verify that tho, Exile?
*~tina~* | and unfortunately.......sometimes we get *bad*
| advice......how do people know
*~tina~* | what advice tpo listen to?.....
Exile | and without confirming the address and number
*Night Spirit [HOST] | breeze that is very good advice...should also have
| set times to call in to a
*Night Spirit [HOST] | friend
fit to be tied | always in a public place... and always have
| transportation outa there
crickett | tis is true tina
breeeze | always confirm everything
Lord Excalibur | that is how we did it NS
Drifter | ..............Pooooooofffff
Exile | and even better meet with a third party
~ßi®d™~ | <whispers to katie.....brings back some memories
| sis>
~ßi®d™~ | LOL
ed | bye
GrandPaDeSade | One of the best checks is references from others.
| Just remember, no two people
GrandPaDeSade | interact in the same way, or with the same degree
| of satisfaction.
Exile | but I think I am wandering off subject NS and
| katie...oops
fit to be tied | good point
breeeze | if someone is safe they won't hesitate to let you
| call
breeeze | them at work, or send them mail, etc..
Lord Excalibur | this is true Grand
*Katie J*[Room 6] | And you survived, Bird <s>
effy | *I* would not let folks call me at work
Exile | exactly breeeze
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well most of us with romance on the mind don't
| think clearly--why I think these
*Night Spirit [HOST] | discussions help out alot
Leda | That's a great point, Grandpa--if you meet online,
| and the other person is the
Leda | real thing, then others should know them to some
| degree.
*~tina~* | nod effy
effy | I guess that means I am not safe?
Exile | my friends have my home and work numbers and my
| home and work addresses
crickett | <still listening>
~ßi®d™~ | i sure did sis.....<BS>
effy | *I* would not give out my home address either
crickett | me neither
Exile | it depends on circumstances effy
Lord Excalibur | LA knew my work colleagues before we met
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile first meetings is part of LDR, esp. those who
| met on-line and loved each
*Night Spirit [HOST] | other for a long time then met
effy | guess that explains why i have no Master
Leda | Nor would I, effy.
~ßi®d™~ | i agree with you NS
~ßi®d™~ | <S>
fit to be tied | well folks... gotta run.... nite all
crickett | bye fit
*~tina~* | byebye fit <s>
Leda | bye fit. <s>
breeeze | night
Exile | that is a man woman issue perhaps effy/crickett/leda
*Katie J*[Room 6] | huggggs, fit :) thanks for sharing.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy, if you had a relationship with someone say 3
| months on line...do you tell
*Night Spirit [HOST] | them your address?
kara (C) | bye fit, huggggs
~ßi®d™~ | bye fit!
fit to be tied | <feeling loved BG>
GrandPaDeSade | They should be able to give you the name of someone
| to talk to about them.
GrandPaDeSade | Watch out though. That person may harbor ill will
| towards them. Check a few. if
GrandPaDeSade | the majority says don't play with them, I'd listen.
Exile | bye fit <huggs>
effy | NS -- no -- they get a POBox
*Night Spirit [HOST] | seeya fit
effy | tho they would get my phone number )(unlisted)
Leda | Yes, it is to an extent, Exile. <s>
~ßi®d™~ | but unfortunately grandpa, that doesn't always work
| either
~ßi®d™~ | <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy then my dear how long is enough to trust with
| that info of where you are?
Lord Excalibur | no I agree,
Exile | although sevaeral married men here would want to
| avoid the address issue too
Exile | clearly...
GrandPaDeSade | A P.O. box is a good idea. In a nearby town is even
| better.
kara (C) | my Master has my home address and phone number and
| i have his........i trust him
Exile | good idea GPDS
effy | we are talking online -- i would not give it out
| online unless i had either A) good refernces
effy | from people i respect / trust
Leda | Then they need to make that reason very clear,
| Exile.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | oh Exile I agree, but that comes down to the
| honesty issue and trust again
Exile | again we come back to trust
kara (C) | yes
crickett | theres that traust word again
Exile | at what point do you trust them enough to give your
| address and phone??
effy | or B) I had met them and developed enough 3d time
| to *know* them a little -- reading bosy
effy | language etc
crickett | trust too
*Katie J*[Room 6] | always, back to trust.
Lord Excalibur | trust is part of every relationship
kara (C) | important part of any relationship.......trust
~ßi®d™~ | exactly
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy that is very good advice :)
crickett | <sighs>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | so as always it comes back to trust
*~tina~* | I called Spartan in the beginning....<my
| choice.....>til I felt comfortablke
*~tina~* | giving him my #
breeeze | ok, for ex... someone who has a family, a career,
| etc..
breeeze | and is willing to be open about it, has A LOT to
| lose if
breeeze | they cross the line into criminal activity. anyone
| agree?
Leda | I don't think I'd give out that info (address,
| anyway) to anyone online, even,
Leda | effy. The second (B), I would. <s>
effy | god forbid i should be stalked again
Exile | ok...to get back to the original point how do you
| gain TRUST in a purely LDR???
Exile | agred breeeze
Lord Excalibur | agree breeze
crickett | <listening>
Leda | With time, I think, overall, Exile, and consistency.
effy | learn the lessons the hard way and you never forget
| -- unfortunatly, soometimes you get no
effy | second chance
*Katie J*[Room 6] | time to see that the pieces fit, that the person is
| what they say ... <s>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Leda .. great minds :)
GrandPaDeSade | As far as phones. You can get the phone company to
| put in a line that deadends
GrandPaDeSade | in their office, and has the calls forwarded to
| your number. Give people that
GrandPaDeSade | one. Of worst comes to worst, just drop that line.
| No need to change your real
GrandPaDeSade | number.
Leda | I jumped on every seeming inconsistency with Mentor
| for *months* Exile.
Exile | Time......
Exile | Trust......
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile I think the best is communication and trust
| your own instincts, watch the
*Night Spirit [HOST] | person on-line with others, and ask questions of
| others
Leda | I was sooo suspicious--couldn't believe I found a
| good one. <G>
~ßi®d™~ | but i think one major factor i've found from
| cyberspace is the fact that so
~ßi®d™~ | many people don't realize that there are real
| people behind these screens,
~ßi®d™~ | people with needs, emotions, situations in their
| own lives, and even though we
~ßi®d™~ | come online for fun and a *release* from things
| that might be going on in our
~ßi®d™~ | own lives, some people don't take the time to
| realize that we are just like
~ßi®d™~ | someone who is standing in front of you, we just
| show our reactions and
~ßi®d™~ | emotions through our words
effy | the fax line, GrPa :)
Exile | Meetings......
*~tina~* | <smiling Leda>.....ya did <s>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | absolutely, Bird :)
GrandPaDeSade | FAX line and/or computer line are both good.
effy | the best recommendation is of others that are
| mutual that have met the person -- if you can
effy | find them
crickett | i like that birdi
Exile | NS...many of us have good insticts...but I also
| know a lot who do not....
Leda | <S>@ tina
Lord Excalibur | Trust has to be earned, by not lieing firstly
kara (C) | well said bird <s>
Exile | agreed effy and birdi
~ßi®d™~ | thanks
~ßi®d™~ | <S>
GrandPaDeSade | NS used to swap between her computer and talk lines
| when someone bothered her.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile I agree, but D/s is about trust, so before
| the first meet..there has to
*Night Spirit [HOST] | be a total trust
Exile | we cant all afford two lines GPDS
effy | the great thing about using the modem line is that
| noone wakes you up at three am
Lord Excalibur | agree NS
~ßi®d™~ | lol exile
~ßi®d™~ | i'm with you
~ßi®d™~ | <S>
Exile | agree too NS...but some people in here really show
| poor judgement..
*Night Spirit [HOST] | why we also have a deadend line that forwards, can
| change it anytime
GrandPaDeSade | Lets face it. A great many submissives are much to
| trusting. it comes with the
GrandPaDeSade | territory.
Lord Excalibur | that is true as well Exile
Exile | some are too trusting GPDS
*~tina~* | yes GrPa!!
effy | many subs want to **believe**
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile love can do that--make us blind, deaf and
| very dumb at times
kara (C) | very true GrandPa
Exile | if someone agreed to meet me in the first week i'd
| be woried for them
Lord Excalibur | far to trusting I have had some talk to me that
| just assumed every thing a
Lord Excalibur | MAster told them was gospel
Exile | I'd spend the rest of my time trying to warn them
| about dangers of others
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile if it is to meet for coffee, can be safe
Exile | but thats just me
Lord Excalibur | no you are right Exile
GrandPaDeSade | They want to believe the best and sometimes get the
| worst.
Exile | I know people raped after just a coffee NS...its
| not always safe
crickett | <and i listen too Exile>
breeeze | another question, as a sub. if someone you know is
breeeze | not what they say, if they prowl here, are you
| obligated
breeeze | to let it be known? morally? ethically?
*~tina~* | I had a BAd expereince when I first came online
| into bdsm....I was so
*~tina~* | trusting...I met a man online <a Dom....so
| called>......and I allowed myself to
*~tina~* | be *conned*....I put myself in a very dangerous
| situation in rt with him......I
*~tina~* | will never allow that to happen again......I have
| learned much from that
*~tina~* | expereince....
*Night Spirit [HOST] | we all hope for the best. But some of us have been
| here a long time and know
*Night Spirit [HOST] | each other for what we are
Exile | YES breeeze...definitely
Leda | I think so, breeeze.
Exile | yes
GrandPaDeSade | No Exile, but a D/s situation is much more likely
| to lead to sex than coffee.
breeeze | and how is the best way to do that?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | tina it was Brett was it?
Exile | I agree GPDS...but you think it should on a first
| meeting??
*~tina~* | no NS...........<s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | :)
Leda | Should, Exile? <s> Probably not--but I know that
| *I* was sooo eager, it was
Leda | hard to be sensible and wait.
GrandPaDeSade | breeze, the problem is many will disreguard only
| one voice, figuring you may be
GrandPaDeSade | bitter.
Exile | I'd hate to think anyone was THAT impatient
Leda | I was cynical enough to know that I had to, for
| safety's sake. <g> but after a
Leda | lifetime of wanting to make this real . . .
*~tina~* | understand that feeling Leda
GrandPaDeSade | Exile, No, i don't, but i seem to be in the
| minority there.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | so back to LDR on line relationships happen, they
| meet, they feel safe, trust
*Night Spirit [HOST] | builds but they live 1500 miles apart, how do you
| keep the relationship alive?
Exile | I'd rather they showed some self control...LOL
Leda | it's sooo hard not to be impatient when you finally
| meet someone!
Leda | Well--I would hope they did too, Exile--but we're
| all human. <s>
Exile | <smiling> @ Leda...
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Leda I agree--that is the hard part about us
*~tina~* | brb
Exile | hmmmmmmmm
Exile | <laughing>
GrandPaDeSade | Especially the submissives, who want to show how
| submissive they can be.
Leda | <laffin too>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | GrPa is right
breeeze | you keep it fresh by being totaly together when you
| can
breeeze | be
Lord Excalibur | agree breeze
Leda | Yes, GPDS--and especially after you meet someone
| who lets you surrender that
Leda | side of yourself online . . .
Leda | after keeping it hidden for so long (for me, anyway)
*Katie J*[Room 6] | oh, if I start out too submissive, I have no place
| to grow towards <G>
Leda | You want to give them that submission, those
| feelings, irl, by the time you
Leda | meet. :-)
*Katie J*[Room 6] | SAM<-------
*Night Spirit [HOST] | subs want to show their trust and submission esp.
| those who never did it in RL
*Night Spirit [HOST] | but enjoy it, might do anything to have the fantasy
| become real
breeeze | i find it difficult to communicate everyday, and
| that it
breeeze | becomes an obligation rather than a pleasure
GrandPaDeSade | And then there are the wannabe doms who feel they
| have to take control and put
GrandPaDeSade | the submissive in there place right away.
Exile | agree breeeze....make more time for one another...
Exile | make the effort
Exile | maybe that romance issue from last week comes into
| play
*Night Spirit [HOST] | oh god wannabe doms <scarey thought>
Leda | Yes, very scary thought.
Lord Excalibur | yes NS we know a lot don't we
Julia (busy) | Hi All
GrandPaDeSade | Some doms are doms BECAUSE they are very insecure
| themselves.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | :) yep there is a website on how to avoide
| them---wish I could give the address
*Night Spirit [HOST] | here, but if you want it--send me e-mail
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | damn <hopping in> don't think I have ever seen so
| many people here <l(,)(,)ing
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | around!!!!!
Leda | I think subs--even those who haven't experienced it
| irl--need to educate
Leda | themselves thoroughly and realize that no one has
| any right to command you to
Leda | do anything if they don't know you. <s> And that
| if they try to, they probably
Leda | are wannabes.
Exile | what about wannabee subs???
*Night Spirit [HOST] | some wannabes become DOMs cuz they think they can
| get a girl in bed easy cuz
*Night Spirit [HOST] | they are subs and obey well
Lord Excalibur | hm
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Leda and Exile I agree
Exile | dont tell me there are not wannbee subs out there
| too
breeeze | how can you easily spot the difference in a wannabe
breeeze | and real Dom?
Leda | Oh, I wouldn't even try, Exile. <g>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | oh god yes there are--scarey is meeting one <shiver>
Exile | <g> Leda...
Brian | howdy room
effy | consistancy - patience - and concern
*Night Spirit [HOST] | breeze you have just decided next week's topic
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hello Brian
breeeze | thank you!
Leda | Oh--that's a terrific topic. <s>
GrandPaDeSade | The best test is right at the start. Are they
| interested in the submissive>? In
GrandPaDeSade | Their needs, wants, desires, and limits? If not,
| say goodby. if they like to
GrandPaDeSade | talk about themselves to much (the dom), start to
| worry.
breeeze | hope i get some answers!
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | hey everyone.......
Exile | NS..I think the subject should be wannabees in
| general...subs and doms
Wicked One (m) | howdy room
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Exile it will be next week--hugs WO
Exile | good point GPDS
Leda | And, as Mentor puts it, if you meet anyone who
| tells you that their way is the
Leda | *right* way, and anything you question is wrong . .
| . run like hell.
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | Mrs. B here<incognito>
Exile | <s> @ Leda
GrandPaDeSade | Wannabe subs can be dangerous also.
Wicked One (m) | howdy NS <s> how are ya darlin
Lord Excalibur | before I committed myself to one, I would ask that
| they e-mail me with there
Lord Excalibur | desires and what they wanted from D/s
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Mentor always had a good head on his shoulders
Leda | Hey there, WO :-)
Leda | <S>@NS
Wicked One (m) | waves to Leda <s>
Exile | How many have read anything he wrote though NS???
GrandPaDeSade | Agree LE, but the interaction in person can be VERY
| revealing.
Exile | How many here even know who he is??
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | <waving hand>
Leda | <S>I meant *my* Mentor, Exile--not John Warren.
breeeze | hwo he is?
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <waving>
Exile | lol...
Leda | though he has a good head on his shoulders too.
| <laffin>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | ok...so first meeting in rl is be safe, think, and
| be in public, to keep the
*Night Spirit [HOST] | relationship alive needs communication and
| trust--right?
Lord Excalibur | this is true, unless you online and phone for a
| long time
Exile | awww...lucky you Leda
Leda | :-)
GrandPaDeSade | I like to go over what I think i know. Seening the
| body language adds to the
GrandPaDeSade | information from an e-mail
Exile | yes NS
Exile | doubtless
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Leda I know Mentor well, spoke to him many
| times--he is a good man and DOM
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | i agree the lord ex
Leda | He has always spoken highly of you too, NS. :-)
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | talk on the phone a number of times
*Night Spirit [HOST] | LE how long is long enough?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--blushing
Exile | I disgree LE...regardless of how long those rules
| apply to be safe....
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | about a month
Exile | just a month????
Exile | I dont think so.......
Just L(.)(.)king Aro | you can tell by then, unless you are stupid
*Night Spirit [HOST] | just looking a month in cyber and on the phone is
| not really long before
*Night Spirit [HOST] | trusting them
*Katie J*[Room 6] | unless they are a good con
effy | depends on how much time you log with them, I would
| think.
Exile | you might be able to...but I think there are many
| who could not
Mrs. Buzzard | i can
Exile | its the good cons who are the danfgerous ones!!!!
*Night Spirit [HOST] | on-line it is hard to see if the person is real or
| not
*Katie J*[Room 6] | exactly, Exile
breeeze | i need to go- nice talking, bye all
*Katie J*[Room 6] | thanks for coming, breeeze
effy | as my momma said "anything that seems too good to be
effy | true...."
Exile | bye breeze...<huggs> nice to meet you
Leda | Yes . . . but I think the longer you talk to
| someone, the more chances you give
Leda | them to trip themselves up. <s> And if they don't
| . . . well, they passed the
Leda | first test. <s>
Mrs. Buzzard | who, here, has ever met someone FROM here?
Jeanette(uk) | i have
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I have
effy | <raising hand>
Exile | not from this room
Exile | but yes from cyber...
Mrs. Buzzard | well, i have met a few
GrandPaDeSade | Remember, some con men specialize in people who are
| sure they can spot them.
GrandPaDeSade | they consider them the easiest marks because they
| are so sure of themselves.
*Katie J*[Room 6] | I have, but not in the biblical sense <G>
Leda | That's true, GPDS
Leda | <laffin>@Katie and not sayin' nothin'
Exile | nice point GPDS...its a game....no point scoring
| low if you can score high in
Exile | the con buciness
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I knew Brett for over a year, before we met....damn
| idiot stole money, clothes
*Night Spirit [HOST] | and injuried me
GrandPaDeSade | NS and I ment online
Mrs. Buzzard | me neither in the biblical sense
| 'cause..............
GrandPaDeSade | Brett tore the skin off of her nipples.
Exile | :-(
Mrs. Buzzard | they were SO different than their pics and descrips
kara (C) | oh my god
Spartan | A <late> ..good evening to
| all............................
Mrs. Buzzard | see, I don't lie
Leda | And I doubt you're easy to fool, NS <sigh> Just
| goes to show that some people
Leda | are *very* good at fooling people.
kara (C) | hello Spartan
Exile | forget to change your clock Spartan..<s>
suchana | can tell by the looks of the company, i made it to
| the right room <S>
Leda | Huggggggsss Spartan. :-)
Jeanette(uk) | I have met 2 people and both were genuine
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs Spartan as always you light up the room with
| your enchanting hairy body
effy | hugs Spartan, suchy
Lord Excalibur | this is true Leda
kara (C) | that is so scary
Exile | hi suchie....no DST there either??
Leda | {{{{{{{{{{{{suchy}}}}}}}}}}
GrandPaDeSade | NS has been doing this for more than 17 years.
Leda | Hey darlin' <s>
Mrs. Buzzard | jeanette, that's probably cause........
Spartan | huggs n shakes around...sorry i had to get my kids
| home......<s>..
suchana | huggggs effy <S> hithere Exile <S>
Mrs. Buzzard | you are in uk, there's not much to change about uk
| guys
Mrs. Buzzard | <lol>
suchana | (((( Leda)))))
Exile | those i have met outside of the room have been real
| genuine nice people
GrandPaDeSade | Hi Spartan
Jeanette(uk) | lol
kara (C) | hi suchana <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Spartan never be sorry for spending time with the
| kids rather then us silly
*Night Spirit [HOST] | folks
suchana | Greetings GPDS <S> Deep , respectful curtsie, Sir .
Spartan | big ole smoooooooches to effy
Spartan | doll................................................
| ....................<snicker
Spartan | >..
Exile | <lol> buzzard..and your point being???
suchana | hello kara <S>
GrandPaDeSade | Hi suchana
Exile | <--from UK but in USA..LOL
suchana | HUgggggs NS <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs suchana
effy | smoochity Spartan :)
Mrs. Buzzard | just can't trust those brits, exile
Mrs. Buzzard | <s>
Exile | thanks buzz....<s>
*~tina~* | back too
Lord Excalibur | Thank you MB
GrandPaDeSade | Were's Beorn today suchana?
Spartan | kisses pet...
Lord Excalibur | I'm a Brit
*~tina~* | kisses daddy <s>
Mrs. Buzzard | i know u r le
Exile | <standing by LE for group strength...LOL>
Exile | <waving my flag>
kara (C) | lol
suchana | Beorn , is relaxing ... ( in the potty)
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ahh, the reading room.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | well here is an example, I like effy alot, known
| her for years, met her once,
*Night Spirit [HOST] | she is a really nice person and pretty, I tease her
| I would like to know her
*Night Spirit [HOST] | better--but it never jelled, but do we trust each
| other? Not sure
Mrs. Buzzard | <waving the STARS & STRIPES 4EVER>
GrandPaDeSade | Well, I guess we'll leave him alone in there then
| suchana
Spartan | <wondering if i had anything to contribute to the
| conference tonight>...we were
Spartan | just 6000 miles apart...anchorage to nyc...oh
| my................
Leda | <laffin> I'd say that qualified, Spartan
suchana | as You wish, Sir
effy | NS -- i think you are a great person and i love
| talking to you --
effy | but your lil silver rings frighten me when you get
| that gleam in
effy | your eye ~~!!!!
Mrs. Buzzard | hiya spartan
effy | <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Spartan you were miles apart--how did you keep the
| relationship alive until you
*Night Spirit [HOST] | two were together?
Spartan | <holding up stacks of $700.00 a month phone
| bills>...
GrandPaDeSade | NS and I started off just 50 miles apart, but got
| to know each other online
GrandPaDeSade | first.
Exile | lol Spartan
Mrs. Buzzard | lol
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes effy I know...:)
*Katie J*[Room 6] | that's one way, Spartan <g>
Exile | know that feeling...LOL
Mrs. Buzzard | <holding $400 phone bills to UK>
effy | <mostly because i want to go there -- but am
| scared... so
effy | there :P >
Leda | LOL effy
Spartan | and lets not for get the
| popular...<cough>.....$1542.75 csi bill...oh
| god......
Exile | lol buzzrd......we need to get group pophone
| discounts!!!
Spartan | in one month..........................
Leda | OMG--where was flat-rate pricing when you needed
| it???
Mrs. Buzzard | lol spartan, no near server, heh?
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Thank god for Flat Rate!
GrandPaDeSade | effy, NS would never hurt you (more than you wanted
| that is)
effy | gosh -- i remember 600 cserve bills -- i wonder
| where all that
effy | extra money is now?
Exile | lol effy
Spartan | i am sorry NS...<huggs too>...it was extremely
| difficult and
Spartan | expensive...............................
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy I remember those
Exile | Are we back in here again next week katie/NS??
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yes Exile this is our home now
GrandPaDeSade | Yes Exile
effy | i know GrPa -- i want i want -- and then i go
| *eeek* and really
effy | all i really want is someone i trust to read me and
| make me
effy | go where i wanna go but will not let myself go
Spartan | but obviously the cost was so overshadowed by the
| benefits to
Spartan | reap..............<s>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | yes, NS was kind enough to let me bring our baby
| here <s>
Exile | and the subjexct is spotting a wannabe??
suchana | i met Master here .. <S> I lived in Illinois, and
| he was here in the KEys ..
suchana | <S> we did the phone thing nad mail th ing ..
| until i moved to Central Florida
suchana | .. that put us 8 hours drive time apart .. .after
| .. a year of that .. <S> we
suchana | decided it was time .. so here i live .
GrandPaDeSade | This is a reguler thing now, Right here each week.
Mrs. Buzzard | hey, lust.....?
Exile | lust??
Exile | <perk>
Mrs. Buzzard | lust is here
GrandPaDeSade | Now I just have to learn to spell and type.
*Katie J*[Room 6] | wonderful when a plan comes together, eh, Spartan?
Mrs. Buzzard | <lol>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <smiling>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | so suchana it actually took a year before you moved
| in together-
suchana | I could give you lessons GPDS .. <S>
Leda | <laffin>
Exile | suchana sounds like she made ALL the right moves
| from LDR to 3-D
effy | <baring my soul and now hiding under a table behind
effy | Spartan's legs..>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ROFL!
*~tina~* | thats a wonderful story suchana....may I ask how
| long you have lived together
*~tina~* | now?
*~tina~* | lol....effy
suchana | Yes NS, .. after meeting face to face .. we were on
| line and phone for 6 months
suchana | .. .
Spartan | well katie...it is wonderful, yet has some of the
| same ups n downs of any
suchana | Almost a year, tina .
Spartan | relationship....24/7 is such a self molding thing,
| the initial relationship as
Spartan | a foundation must survive first........
GrandPaDeSade | effy, come out and see us some time. NS will go as
| slow as you want and/or need
*Night Spirit [HOST] | suchana how did you keep it alive during that time
Spartan | <patting my little effys head lightly>...there
| there hon...u can come
Spartan | out.....<s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy I promise to be good to you <wg>
effy | <crinkling> ooooo.... stop... GrPa
Leda | <S>
*~tina~* | will be 1 yr for us too suchana.....on may4
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <nodding, listening to Spartan>
GrandPaDeSade | And of course, i could always help too if you want
| effy.
*Katie J*[Room 6] | that's wonderful .. you make such a wonderful
| couple <seeing them in my mind's
*Katie J*[Room 6] | eye, and smiling>
Spartan | each relationship needs to form , especially those
| afar...u come together and
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Hey, hey ... no trolling during the conferences,
| you two!
suchana | well NS <S> besides the phone bills <yikes> ..
| every evening i had a ritual ,,
suchana | decided by Beorn .. I woulkd go into my room, and
| light a candle .. soft music
suchana | , and strip .. . i would think of him .. and shower
| .. closing my eyes ..
suchana | making mysewlf ready, as if he was in the bedroom
Spartan | have a basis for being together but lack some of
| the necessary
effy | <perk pant eek>
GrandPaDeSade | Yes katie, you should see us double doming someone.
*Night Spirit [HOST] | suchana that sounds so romantic
Leda | Oooh, suchy--that's lovely.
Spartan | time b 4 hand to really see how it will be....and
| this is where the inner
Spartan | srtength of the relationship
GrandPaDeSade | We both know effy from way back Katie.
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ok, then.
Spartan | if right u can overcome most, compromise some and
| well
suchana | ( then i would place the nipple clamps on .. or
| shave .. or some thing he had
suchana | given me to do .. a small task for each evening ..
Spartan | not ever agree on some issues either
Spartan | but life goes on
Spartan | and hopfully so does the relationship
*Katie J*[Room 6] | but deal with the disagreements too .. <s>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | that helps keep it alive, and you would let him
| know you did it--kinda keeps
*Night Spirit [HOST] | you close when apart
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Makes sense to me, Spartan <s>
suchana | tina <S> congrats <S>
Spartan | unfortunately no matter how u look at it a distant
| start has a rock road unless
Spartan | u can see and test for lengthy periods
suchana | YEs NS ..
Spartan | see what the everyday to day will be.....it is not
| easy
*~tina~* | and congrats to you suchana.........<wishing I
| lived in the keys...pout...had
*~tina~* | to find a Master in nyc....lol>
GrandPaDeSade | If two people agreed on everything, it would be a
| very dull existance
Leda | I think many of us far apart have our own sorts of
| rituals, suchy. <S> I think
Leda | you need that to feel close to the person at all
| times, not just when they are
Leda | there. And I'd like to think that when you *do*
| get together, some of those
Leda | nice little thoughtful things remain. <s>
suchana | giggling ..
effy | how does one know that they could survive in a 3d
effy | relationship like that tho <admiring tina and
| Spartan>
effy | I am so headstrong i think something like that with
| me innit
effy | would be doomed
Spartan | when r u commin to visit in nyc suchana....<g>...
*Katie J*[Room 6] | back to time and trust, where it all begins ... a
| circle <s>
Leda | LOL--ditto, effy.
Exile | <smiling> @ katie
suchana | yes Leda .. <S.. Ah .. Spartan .,. <S> wish we
| could visit many places .
Spartan | effy, <s>....u know just how dificult it can be
Exile | as she takes the words right out of my mouth...LOL
effy | <s> Leda sis
Spartan | not easy
*Katie J*[Room 6] | off your fingers, Exile <G>
Leda | Especially when you're used to being on your own,
| and comfortable with your own
Leda | self. <s>
Spartan | and well, u gotta stay adult and friends above all
| through it
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy you find someone who likes head strong subs.
| like me I have a big mouth,
*Night Spirit [HOST] | and am a SAM but GrPa likes that...we are more
| sadist/masochist then Dom/sub
Leda | Makes it harder to have someone around *all the
| time*
Exile | uh....ok katie but i preferred my imagery...<s>
GrandPaDeSade | effy, NS is very headstrong too. She is most
| satisfied some of the times I am
GrandPaDeSade | controling her despite that I think. How about it
| NS?
Exile | <stretching my fingers>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <whew> ok, Exile <w>
GrandPaDeSade | Some DOMs like that
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <nodding> yea, they are.
Spartan | deal with it like adults and the hard part is to
| put some of the hot emotions
Spartan | to the side and really think and care for each
| other ...good or bad
effy | i always wanted to be like a palace cat -- very
| regal in
effy | company but able to leap onto his head in private...
suchana | giggling effy <S>
*~tina~* | lol...effy.......<g>
Exile | lol effy...as long as He can control that in you
GrandPaDeSade | An interesting image effy
Exile | and is happy to
Leda | And apt. <G>
Spartan | <swattin effy>..get dowm from up there.....pattin
| lap>.....<eg>
Leda | <laffin> Spartan
effy | well he would have to tap my nose every now and
| then... but
effy | that's something i think i could live with -- well
| that and a
effy | rubber mousie
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <listening to the cat purrrrrrrrrr>
suchana | chucklking ..
effy | <climbing into Spartans lap> purrpurrrpurrrr
Leda | Don't forget the occasional catnip <g>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--is a swithc you adores pain and him forcing
| himself on me <pant pant> but I
GrandPaDeSade | Your nose, or your rear end?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | love to Dom others by being very wicked in my
| thoughts
Spartan | silly subbie....kiss......
Exile | <wondering where i put that kitty litter>
*~tina~* | lol
effy | i think that discipline has a lot to do with it
effy | knowing that he loves me enuf to correct me
Spartan | self dicipline.....
effy | kiss :)
Spartan | without it, how could u extend to each other...
suchana | ( often fantasize about tying Beorn up , and
| putting on a strap on .. <S.
suchana | letting him .. well ... that will just never ever
| happen )
effy | ooo suchy :)
GrandPaDeSade | Sometimes when we play with others, NS comes up
| with some very wicked things
GrandPaDeSade | for me to do to them. (Sometimes I do them to her
| instead.)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hey a good Dom has imagination...gotta keep it fresh
Spartan | ppppssstttt suchana....if u ever come to
| visit...leave that thing<and the
Spartan | idea>...at home....<s>
*~tina~* | lol
*Night Spirit [HOST] | such as---ok from 100 count backwards by 3 while
| being flogged
effy | 97 94 90
effy | oops, start over
GrandPaDeSade | I think NS has such dreams too at times suchana.
| But she knows better than to
GrandPaDeSade | say them out loud.
Exile | lol effy
*Katie J*[Room 6] | LOL!
suchana | i take it everywhere Spartan .. keep thinking one
| day i will meet a lovely
suchana | little slave to share <S>
GrandPaDeSade | I like count backwards from 1,000 by 13. Noone gets
| far.
suchana | <GGR> GPDS >. i too know better .. but alas ... i
| am just naughty
Leda | LOL GrandPa--a true sadist. <giggling>
*~tina~* | wonderful GrPa!!
Spartan | aaahhhh...lookin at tina.....seeing u have much in
| common.....<idea wise that
Spartan | is>......<g>
Exile | LOL GPDS
*~tina~* | <blush>
Snow | hi all
Spartan | <wonders the stories they could trade>..
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <admiring tina's rosy cheeks>
Spartan | and what else...
Spartan | oh my
Spartan | did i say that
*Katie J*[Room 6] | can we do a group sometime, suchana and tina?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | or my favorite--he floggs after a bit he says "how
| many" I forgot to count, I
*Night Spirit [HOST] | say don't know, he says well if you won't count I
| won't play
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <weg>
Leda | <--has admired tina's rosy cheeks a couple of times
| ;-)
suchana | would love to Katie ,S>
*~tina~* | lolol.....
Spartan | <putting on innocent boyish look no one could
| resist..>
*~tina~* | sure Katie <s>
Leda | LOL
Spartan | which ones leda<g>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <getting my notebooks ready>
*~tina~* | <---has never been able to resist that look
| Sir....or any other for that matter
effy | more like the cat that ate the canary, Spartan
Leda | All of 'em, Spartan. <g>
suchana | <resistance is mine sayeth the sub !
effy | [chuckle]
*~tina~* | lol
Spartan | oh no not me<stuffing feather stickin outta my
| mouth back in.....>
Snow | funny, suchy
GrandPaDeSade | Or then there is always asking questions they have
| to think about, then asking
GrandPaDeSade | the count. Confuses them
suchana | giggling .. Master is watching BEAN
effy | and then you have to start over :)
effy | i like that!!
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Sounds like a subject for a CO, GrandPa
effy | [looking for a playmate]
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Creative Caning and Wonderful Whippings
*Night Spirit [HOST] | ok so that concludes this weeks get-together join
| Katie, GrPa and me next week
*Night Spirit [HOST] | here for How to protect ourselves from
| wannabes--and how to get from wannabe to
*Night Spirit [HOST] | being <ggl>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | and I'm not talking chairs and cream.
suchana | very interesting GP <S>
Exile | LOL katie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | oh god I love nipple clamp trivia
suchana | OH OH OH OH !
*Night Spirit [HOST] | I miss a question the clamps are tightened
*Katie J*[Room 6] | Sounds like a great one, NS
*Katie J*[Room 6] | ROFL!
Leda | <laffin>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | if correct no action
suchana | Master is waving hello .. and pinching my left <S>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | will make Trivia more interesting to me <g>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--waves to Beorn
Exile | Goodnight all....have a great week!!!!
*Katie J*[Room 6] | <waves to Beorn>
*Katie J*[Room 6] | hugs, Exile :)
suchana | He said .. <S> tell everyone hello
*~tina~* | bye Exile <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie there is no reason D/s has to be serious--I
| like it to be fun
Exile | <huggs> katie
*Katie J*[Room 6] | I was talking trivia, NS <giggle>
Exile | bye tina
suchana | NS .. speaking of fun D/s ..
Exile | bye suchana
*Katie J*[Room 6] | D/s is fun <g>
suchana | So long Exile <S>
Exile | bye NS and GPDS
Exile | bye Spartan
*Night Spirit [HOST] | seeya Exile thanks for comming
Leda | <thinking that every time I play Trivia w/ Katie
| now, I'll be wondering if she
Leda | got a question wrong, and if she's wincing> <G>
GrandPaDeSade | Sometimes the trivia I ask she has no possible way
| of knowing. Like things from
GrandPaDeSade | my childhood.
Exile | bye Leda
Leda | Bye Exile. :-)
Exile | is that everyone...hope so...byeee
*Katie J* | Great conference, Night Spirit <warm hugs>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | yeah he asked me name3rd pet cat---sheesh
*Katie J* | hahahahahaaa
Leda | Well . . . that's fair, GrandPa. <G>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs little sis, that is because of you
suchana | Thank you fro the conference .. <S>
*Katie J* | I thought you mean Helper Trivia
suchana | you are all so terrific <S>
*Night Spirit [HOST] | Katie I have enough to do without clamps during it
*Katie J* | I just did my german shephard routine <G>
Leda | Yes, thank you all for the conference. :-) See you
| all next week.
*Katie J* | huggggs, Leda :)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | <--kicks eudora--bloody thing has 200 e-mail
| messages
Leda | Huggggss, sis. :-)
GrandPaDeSade | I thought it was fair
effy | well -- gosh NS -- who did you mass mail ?
*Night Spirit [HOST] | effy I am on 3 mail lists
*Night Spirit [HOST] | that is my daily mail
suchana | sigh .. <S>
effy | i don't have that much time inna week NS
effy | how do you manage?
suchana | i dont wanna go back to the other channel ...
*Katie J* | I'm going to go look for my Master .. he's supposed
| to come home tonight <s>
*Katie J* | hugs and kisses :)
*Night Spirit [HOST] | lol helper mail is worse 100-500 messages a day
suchana | Kisses KAtei <S>
Snow | thanks for your help, Katie
*Night Spirit [HOST] | hugs and licks little sis
*Katie J* | anytime, Snow :)
*Katie J* | <wink> NS
*Katie J* | <hugs> GrandPa
********** 4/5/98 6:36 PM End logging Sub Pub - D/s.