Questions and Answers about BDSM & D/s
(Open Forum)
********** 10/11/98 4:59 PM Begin logging Silken Ties.
zilli | whenever i had a question the prof always answered
| it with a question.
Marky-Mark | Hi marie
SideWinder (Berlin) | Back off, Katie .. this one is mine
zilli | fried green humour?
MoL's Katie J | Did he, zilli?
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Non-time-zone-specific greetings, roomies!
SideWinder (Berlin) | i still need it
zilli | katiej <hugzzz>
SideWinder (Berlin) | hi katie
<MS' EBE> M | good evening to all <s>
MoL's Katie J | hugzzz zilli
marieM | hugs Katie..
SideWinder (Berlin) | moin idaho
zilli | hiya lynz <hugz>
MoL's Katie J | hiya Sidewinder
*Night Spirit* | <--waves to the crowd and asks very nicely to Miss
| Katie--got CMW running?
marieM | EBE..
MoL's Katie J | hugs marie
zilli | hiya ns (s)
*Night Spirit* | hiya zilla
MoL's Katie J | hugs NS, and I can in a minute .. you want it?
*Night Spirit* | and zilli
<MS' EBE> M | hi marie!!! LTNS!!!! <s>
SideWinder (Berlin) | good morning NS
zilli | <g>
*Night Spirit* | yes Katie sure do :)
SideWinder (Berlin) | gooood morning ebe!
Lynzy Idaho<f> | CMW?
*Night Spirit* | morning sidewinder
zilli | hiya ebe (s)
*Night Spirit* | conferance modiator workstation
<MS' EBE> M | hi SW!! <s>
<MS' EBE> M | hi zilli
<MS' EBE> M | <s>
zilli | we moderated tonight?
zilli | hiya MoL <hugz>
*Night Spirit* | mine is on the fritz
SideWinder (Berlin) | what the hecks a modiator? <ducking behind his
| couch>
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Whazzat for?
zilli | lol sw
<MS' EBE> M | How have ya been, marie????
Master of Leisure | hiyas,,,zilli one..<s>
zilli | lynz, to control unruly sorts (eg)
marieM | we are always moderated zilli <S> didn't think you
| were an exhibitionist did
marieM | you zilli <G>
Lynzy Idaho<f> | <-- Doesn't believe in moderation.
Lynzy Idaho<f> | <g>
marieM | actually good .. EBE and youo
zilli | marie hahaha
*Night Spirit* | tonight's conferance is a question and answer one,
| using CMW we have less
*Night Spirit* | chance of folks talking over folks
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Ahhhh.... you mean your big gun! <GG>
<MS' EBE> M | well too, marie...glad to hear that :-)
zilli | lynz, some of us gots little guns...but they're
| highly effective <wink>
Master of Leisure | good evening,,,,NS.....<S>......huggggs..hon
Lynzy Idaho<f> | lol
*Night Spirit* | hugs MoL
<MS' EBE> M | hi NS <s>
SideWinder (Berlin) | <-- don't need guns, has a great sense of really
| annoying
SideWinder (Berlin) | humour
marieM | hugs MoL
zilli | <laffin@sw>
Master of Leisure | huggggs..marie......<s>
*Night Spirit* | first I want to thank you all for comming, and if
| you want please post stuff
*Night Spirit* | (like pictures, stories whatever) in the library
<MS' EBE> M | Lynzy..???? somehow think I know ya!!??
MoL's Katie J | give me a few <s>
*Night Spirit* | MichaelP has some of his erotic tales there
*Night Spirit* | and hiya EBE :)
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Yes Ms.?
Lynzy Idaho<f> | If you're a former HSXer, you prolly do...
zilli | hiya cricket <hugz>
marieM | <S> I hope he is writing more.. NS he promised me a
| story
Dmi's crickett | hiya zilli <s> hugs
*Night Spirit* | marie I hope so too, cuz he is an excellant writer
Old Wolf | hi's all around
Dmi's crickett | <waves to OW>
marieM | eveing Old Wolf
Master of Leisure | re's....OW
zilli | oldwolf<hugzx>
Dmi's crickett | ~~~~~waving to NS, too
<MS' EBE> M | MS??? Og geez///forgot I had this on>>>>>>>>
Master of Leisure | winks at crickie for the second time
REX | any cuties from NY?
Dmi's crickett | ooooo whoooooo hoooo...<winks back>
*Night Spirit* | ok tonight's discussion is a question and answer.
| You ask questions we will
*Night Spirit* | attempt to answer HUGGEROOS crickett
Master of Leisure | wrong station...rex......try 59th St
Lynzy Idaho<f> | What is it s'posed to say? <s>
Dmi's crickett | <sits down in the middle of the room cross legged
| and waits>
*Night Spirit* | ok anyone have any questions? they have been dieing
| to ask
<MS' EBE> M | Electricblueyes it usually says, Lynzy oh well...
Lynzy Idaho<f> | NS, on the topic of?
Dmi's crickett | you may want to start us off NS.......
*Night Spirit* | anything I was asked to have a question and answer
| period----ok let's see
Lynzy Idaho<f> | At my age, I have more answers than questions...
| isn't *that* annoying??? <GG>
Dmi's crickett | i would think we all have questions, but dont know
| where to start
marieM | well actually i want to ask the room to remember
| the young boy - Gary Shepard..
marieM | who is still in critical conditon from the
| beating.. there was a prayer vigil
marieM | of sorts last night our Uncommon Ground and there
| are some planned throught the
marieM | region.. for him tonight.. While.. his fate is in
| God's hand.. we can hope this
marieM | doesn't scare others from admiting there kink
Dmi's crickett | huh?
Dmi's crickett | who is Gary?
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Marie... you're in Laramie?
marieM | Dmi.. the young college student.. who was beating
Master of Leisure | wasnt that the person who got beat up in Laramie
| for being
Master of Leisure | gay..marie
marieM | for coming out
<MS' EBE> M | okay, here is one...do most think the terms
<MS' EBE> M | "slave" and sub" mean the same,,and if not,
<MS' EBE> M | what are the differences??
marieM | yes it was MoL
Dmi's crickett | ooohhh i read about that...
marieM | it was about 40 miles north of me
Dmi's crickett | i thought that was sorry as hell.....
SideWinder (Berlin) | not the same ...
Dmi's crickett | JOhn said something about it cause i started crying
Master of Leisure | Loveland...marie...??
marieM | yes MoL very close to that
Dmi's crickett | and no Ebe....they are not the same
Master of Leisure | I saw it on our local news last nite.........and
| saw the pics of
Master of Leisure | the two men who beat him up..
Old Wolf | agreed... quite different
Dmi's crickett | the differences is that a slave has no say
Master of Leisure | Highlander (CO) lives right by you..marie..in
| Loveland
<MS' EBE> M | oh---anyone care to explain??
*Night Spirit* | EBE ok nice start--sub to me (yes I am no expert)
| is one who submits to someone
*Night Spirit* | else, a slave submits but in all reality is not
| supposed to ever say NO, they
*Night Spirit* | leave it up to the Dom/me to control all
Dmi's crickett | however a submissive does
marieM | I know i have yet to meet him though.. he must stay
| in the shadows MoL
Dmi's crickett | uumm....<same thing NS just said>
Master of Leisure | he is a great guy...has a computer
| business...there...
<GJ>rebecca | <<observing
*Night Spirit* | but remember even you YOU agree to be a slave, this
| is the USA you really do
*Night Spirit* | have the right to leave
Dmi's crickett | hey becca<s>
<GJ>rebecca | hi crichett <s>
<GJ>rebecca | thanks
Master of Leisure | a slave has no free will...and gives up everything
| to her
Master of Leisure | Dominant......unlike a sub
*Night Spirit* | ok here is my question to you all what is safe,
| sane and consentual?
marieM | also you can submit.. to someone for a scene or a
| time .. a slave at times
marieM | realizing it is more encompasing
<MS' EBE> M | It seems a lot of people have a lot of
<MS' EBE> M | definitions...the terminology sometimes
<MS' EBE> M | becomes sort of blurred..
marieM | it may be another step.. and a formalization fo the
| relationship
marieM | again it is how each realtionship may defin them..
Old Wolf | NS... I agree.. but I think it reflects more on the
| TYPE of relationship each
Old Wolf | wants to have. A sub approaches the Master to be
| "cultivated" (to use a term)
Old Wolf | while a slave approaches simply to be used.... I
| think a slave has a definite
Old Wolf | need for humiliation.
Dmi's crickett | <thinking about NS's question>
Dmi's crickett | brb
<GJ>rebecca | k crickett
*Night Spirit* | EBE in all reality it is what you make it----I like
| being called Allyn's
*Night Spirit* | property or his toy--I am not a toy or land but I
| am his in my heart
marieM | OW.. do you think it's more a lifestyle.. in an
| overall controlnot just
marieM | humilation?
<MS' EBE> M | so you would think all "slaves" are masochists
<MS' EBE> M | while submissives not necessarily the case?
*Night Spirit* | no EBE
marieM | no EBE
SideWinder (Berlin) | slaves don't have to be masochists, either
marieM | there are masochist.. who are not subs or slaves
SideWinder (Berlin) | but it helps <g>
marieM | but enjoy the pain.. infact a few of my good
| friends.. will define themselves
marieM | as such
Old Wolf | I can't say... I believe it is different depending
| n individual needs... I find
Old Wolf | the concept of slave to be very limiting (no pun
| intended) in that, I want more
Old Wolf | than just subserviant sex.... a sub can appeal to
| me on many levels... a slave
Old Wolf | is restricted to just one
marieM | and don't want to *submit*
*Night Spirit* | a slavr is one who without argue, or giving excuses
| does everything the Dom/me
*Night Spirit* | says--NO QUESTIONS ASK, a sub asks, questions
| negoatates--
marieM | they just enjoy the sensation play
~wrybrat~ | is that written in concrete somewhere, NS?
*Night Spirit* | no wry
*Night Spirit* | that is my opinion
marieM | actually wry there are slave contract.. and more
| details for those wanting that
marieM | type of reatlionship i have seen
~wrybrat~ | <s> meet a slave with an opinion..
Lynzy Idaho<f> | Well said, Old Wolf... to me the whole dynamic is
| the ultimate expression of love... the kind of
| trust implicit in walking
Lynzy Idaho<f> | through something one fears (as in loss of control
| during sexual situations) is powerfully erotic.
<MS' EBE> M | <s> wry!!!1
*Night Spirit* | my contract with GrPa says I can enter the
| realtionship, I can have safewords,
*Night Spirit* | I can leave---the rest is up to him, I gave him
| me--because I wanted to
marieM | agreed OW most relationship that work and grow are
| those where the needs and
marieM | dynamics are fluid and changing
marieM | ergo both parties must think and give <S>
*Night Spirit* | wry the opinion in a slave I was terming to his
| master says you will sleep on
*Night Spirit* | the floor slave does it--no questions, sub might
| ask questions
marieM | and give
marieM | and give
Dmi's crickett | that is the difference, yes NS.
Dmi's crickett | <as she hobbles back into the room after twisting
| her ankle
~wrybrat~ | guess that we have it all wrong then.. <g>
*Night Spirit* | but that is only to myself, another person may feel
| different--it is what YOU
*Night Spirit* | make it
<GJ>rebecca | aaaaww you okay....crickett?
marieM | but again with the framework of D/s NS this is
| negoitated control that was
marieM | given at a point in the relationshp both agreed to
Dmi's crickett | yeah...just getting old , it happens
zilli | <offerin ice pack to crickett>
Dmi's crickett | thanks zilli <s>
marieM | turns on the hot tub for crickett <g>
Dmi's crickett | no wry, i dont think you have it wrong, as it is
| what you believe
Dmi's crickett | thanks marie
*Night Spirit* | marie that is up to the folks in the
| relationship---I decided GrPa has my
*Night Spirit* | interest at heart--so I gave him me---but I am a
| SAM and I bug him until he
*Night Spirit* | punishes me <s>
~wrybrat~ | <w> I know..
prof | hello 40 m home alone looking for mature female
prof | conversation
Dmi's crickett | <giggles> i know you did
*Night Spirit* | ok now my question what is safe, sane and
| consentual?
Dmi's crickett | shhhh prof....listen first
marieM | good luck prof..
*Night Spirit* | what does it mean?
~wrybrat~ | if I have learned anything.. it's as long as it
| works for the people involved..
prof | thanks looks like ill need it no one around tonight
~wrybrat~ | *nothing* is wrong..
SideWinder (Berlin) | <-- always thought those were selfexplanatory
*Night Spirit* | wry I agree
Dmi's crickett | safe is to where no harm (and harm is what is
| agreed upon) comes to the sub...i
Dmi's crickett | believe
marieM | safe = Common sense - not just emotional sense;
| sane again within a framework
marieM | YOU feel right about, consentual is don't just say
| yes to say yes.
*Night Spirit* | or is it safe sex or is that included using rubber
| gloves, condoms?
~wrybrat~ | well said, marie <s>
<GJ>rebecca | lol......NS
<GJ>rebecca | very well spoken....Marie
Dmi's crickett | and sane is to me is an expression.... for it is
| what both feel and want
<MS' EBE> M | marie is ALWAYS well spoken <s>
*Night Spirit* | ok but in the heat of the moment how many of us
| have NOT been sane or safe?
marieM | crickeet i agree we all tend to focus on the sub's
| safety but at times i think
marieM | the Dom's are at risk.. and so it has to be safe
| for both
Dmi's crickett | yes....marie they can be at times in as much of a
| risk also
Bunny | Hi room
<GJ>rebecca | Hi Bunny
marieM | NS often i want to play.. more.. or just go
| longer.. I trust Michael to know
marieM | when..to say no.
<MS' EBE> M | I have heard some stories where Dom/me
<MS' EBE> M | became suddenly at VERY much risk!!
Dmi's crickett | thant is where , i suppose sane and the trust of
| each other come into play
*Night Spirit* | marie how do you feel when he says NO?
Dmi's crickett | that...oppss darn typo
marieM | IN addition i think when you play within the
| scene.. public at clubs we forget
marieM | the*outing * factor is always there\
marieM | well at first.. i didn
*Night Spirit* | agreed crickett
prof | im back whats the ?
marieM | i accepted.. but.. we talked about it later
Old Wolf | what makes these conferences to interesting to me
| is the variety of definitions
Old Wolf | we each bring to the forum. While we agree in
| general, we each work out a set
Old Wolf | of "rules of engagement" on a relationship by
| relationship level. I have
Old Wolf | learned a bit already.
Dmi's crickett | <whispers to prof>......shhhhhhssss and listen......
MoL's Katie J | at the moment, we're talking about safety, prof
prof | i am male 40 attorney in atlanta
Dmi's crickett | <hides behind wry>
~wrybrat~ | behind me? <laffing>
Master of Leisure | are you a sub or slave...prof.......<chuckling>
prof | thanks
Jenni | sneaking in very quietly......sorry to be late.
Dmi's crickett | <laughs too> why not?
marieM | i think when you are in aLDR you want so much to
| happen in a weekend.. and my
marieM | emotions are running rampent.. i often don't see
| when i am exhuasted or
marieM | shaking..
Old Wolf | the fact that some do not establish safe words and
| procedures prior to
Old Wolf | "engaging", scares me... at least for those people
| I am concerned
*Night Spirit* | marie sweety I hate to tell you happens even in a
| 24/7 relationship where you
*Night Spirit* | live and work together
*Night Spirit* | OK OW---why use safe words?
marieM | i am glad to hear that NS.. <S>
Old Wolf | as a point of establishing the subs needs....
TI | thats the second most important thing NS
Old Wolf | note I didn't say limits
Dmi's crickett | why use safe words?........because that would be a
| *sane* thing to do
*Night Spirit* | bTW they are using the dungeon area (and our new
| gurney) for pictures, and GrPa
*Night Spirit* | is taking some for our site--that is why he is NOT
| here
Old Wolf | someone entered in D/s last night and needed to
| talk about that concept....
Dmi's crickett | so each would know a peaking or reached limit, to
| be able to back off......
~wrysilk | a reg, OW?
Old Wolf | no... a newbie
Old Wolf | crickett has hit the point
Northern Gentleman | so this is where everyone is hidiing at
Old Wolf | to know when someone is approaching their limit
*Night Spirit* | ok is it safe to play with someone you have known a
| VERY long time and played
*Night Spirit* | with alot and NOT use safewords?
Dmi's crickett | no , NS...i dont agree
Old Wolf | if the sub has "ENTRUSTED" herself to her
| Master.... the communication needs to
Old Wolf | be open and continued
*Night Spirit* | ok crickett why?
Dmi's crickett | i think there should always be a safe word......
Master of Leisure | Safewords should be used at all
| times....NS.......in my
Master of Leisure | opinion......
Dmi's crickett | even if it is not used
<MS' EBE> M | I agree with MOL!!!!
Dmi's crickett | for safety reasons
~wrysilk | <sitting quietly>
Old Wolf | agreed with crickett
Dmi's crickett | even if you have been with someone for a very long
| time........ things...like
Dmi's crickett | wants and desires can change....
<MS' EBE> M | In my case, MS is FAR more experienced no
<MS' EBE> M | matter that we have known each other a long
<MS' EBE> M | time...that isn't the point...
*Night Spirit* | ok if we trust the Dom/me why not trust them to
| know if and when we have had
*Night Spirit* | enough?
Master of Leisure | katie entrusts herself to me,,,,,,and I know her
| limits well,,,,but
Master of Leisure | I still want her to use her safeword if she feels
| like it
Dmi's crickett | so a safe word is needed
Old Wolf | I guess it is a matter of what your reasons are for
| entering the "scene".... is
Old Wolf | it a contest of wills for you... or is it an
| expression of affection taken to a
Old Wolf | different form
marieM | but i have to say i rarely see safewords used.. do
| any of you hold back using
marieM | them.. or are most scenes usually within the
| framework that they all work that
marieM | well?
Dmi's crickett | because that is not *sane* NS......................
| you still need them even if
Dmi's crickett | you dont use them
Bunny | Hi all!
*Night Spirit* | I use safewords, not alot but time to time--just
| sometimes I need to relax a
*Night Spirit* | few seconds to catch my breath
<MS' EBE> M | Yes, Crickett!!
marieM | i agree crickett....
Jenni | <,agrees with crickett
Dmi's crickett | to me a safe word...is a way to say....slow
| down...let me catch up
Old Wolf | presicely NS.... it doesn't have to mean STOP
| forever... it should mean
Old Wolf | STOP....now
*Night Spirit* | how important is communicating your thoughts and
| feelings between Dom/me and
*Night Spirit* | sub?
Master of Leisure | well stated,,,OW......and that is usually what
| happens in a
Master of Leisure | scene.....
<MS' EBE> M | Have used safe word once in like a year
<MS' EBE> M | but...happy it is there if needed..besides, why
<MS' EBE> M | allow a session to go on when it is no longer
<MS' EBE> M | enjoyable??
Dmi's crickett | how important?
Old Wolf | some people use two words... similar to a yellow
| and red traffic light (did I
Old Wolf | stoop to that analogy?)
TI | thats the begining of the trust NS
Dmi's crickett | it is the base for it
Master of Leisure | it is very important,,,,NS......
Old Wolf | NS... communication is the foundation upon which
| trust is built
marieM | yes Old Wolf a lot of people use that.. especially
| with new partners.. it's a
marieM | common one so you can't forget or miss it
Dmi's crickett | you have to be open, and honest with your Dom
Dmi's crickett | or sub
Dmi's crickett | both have to be open and honest
Old Wolf | THAT is a big concern for me
Old Wolf | especially with a new sub
Old Wolf | who may be so anious to please you that she will
| force herself beyond her limit
*Night Spirit* | as GrPa says---I never took mind reading at Dom
| school
Jenni | <g> NS
Old Wolf | we need to keep in mind that this is not a race...
| more like a dance
Dmi's crickett | that is how both begin to build the trust that D/s
| (which is a concept) is
Dmi's crickett | built upon
Dmi's crickett | that is true OW
*Night Spirit* | ok where do we start being open and honest--before
| we first meet, when we meet,
*Night Spirit* | before first play--when should you spill it all?
Dmi's crickett | in the beginning NS
Old Wolf | when we dance, we don't dance faster to get to the
| end of a song! so, we
Old Wolf | should not needlessly speed the scene along to its
| conclusion... we have a
Old Wolf | responsibility to not overwhelm the sub... beyond
| her abilities
Dmi's crickett | you have to start at the first
Jenni | <<have tried being open & honest from Day
| 1.......and continue every day....
TI | before you meet NS...........
*Night Spirit* | OW I like that thought
Dmi's crickett | or you cant start at all
Dmi's crickett | ooohh <waves to Jenni <s>>
Jenni | ~~~~~ crickett <<ss>>
*Night Spirit* | ok now here is a tought question
Jenni | sometimes I find it very, very hard to be open....
TI | you want that person to know ALL about you with no
| suprises
Jenni | and vulnerable.....
Old Wolf | <smiling at NS... that is why we are here NS... to
| facilitate the means of
Old Wolf | communication... >
*Night Spirit* | why the hell are we D/s and not vanilla?
Dmi's crickett | it is a piece of us....that is inside of us
| NS....that is a part of us
*Night Spirit* | were we born this way crickett?
Old Wolf | Jenni... vulnerability is delicious.... it enhances
| the flavor of the
Old Wolf | relationship
Jenni | nodding at crickett........a part that was missing
| 'til D/s filled the void
Dmi's crickett | this is want i believe.....every relationship is
| D/s, just some can admit to
Dmi's crickett | what it is....and some can not
Jenni | yes, OW, and thankfully.....Sir Gault has a great
| shoulder for me to hide in
Jenni | when I am forcing myself to speak beyond my comfort
| zone <g>
Dmi's crickett | in all asspect of animal life
night nurse | i agree with OW
*Night Spirit* | were we born D/s or is it learned behaviour and why
| are so many of us coming
*Night Spirit* | into it late in life (after 1st marriage)?
Dmi's crickett | there is a Dom...and there is a sub..
Old Wolf | Jenni... yo just described the truest meaning of a
| D/s relationship (imho)
night nurse | vulnerability is a gift to be cherished
Dmi's crickett | no, NS...i think it is a part of life
Dmi's crickett | it is always there
*Night Spirit* | hiya night nurse :)
Dmi's crickett | just some can see it, some can not
Jenni | <s> @ OW
night nurse | Hi NS
*Night Spirit* | ok why do you say this crickett?
Dmi's crickett | <thinking> ....i suppose it is because i have
| raised (like many) too many
Dmi's crickett | animals....and at my age seen too many
| relationships..... to me... i see it
Dmi's crickett | everywhere....
Dmi's crickett | in everyday life with humans
Dmi's crickett | husbands wifes
Dmi's crickett | pecking order with chicldrem
Dmi's crickett | oopss
Dmi's crickett | children
*Night Spirit* | ok how do you all feel about what crickett said?
Dmi's crickett | it is everywhere
Old Wolf | <was thinking "new species?">
Dmi's crickett | gee thanks OW
Old Wolf | just kidding... we all read typos marie <soft smile>
<MS' EBE> M | pecking order with chickens?? sorry Crick,
<MS' EBE> M | couldn't help it--and I agree with ya!!
*Night Spirit* | well I started tying up barbie long ago, tieing
| boys up and pantsing them and
*Night Spirit* | leaving them behind the hay loft
Jenni | I believe for me, it is part of who I am.......
Dmi's crickett | insects are the same.......... i mean...D/s is a
| concept...away to describe
Dmi's crickett | relationships
Dmi's crickett | <laffen at Ebe>
Jenni | always has been, but it was denied for a lot of
| years.
*Night Spirit* | did we all do D/s as children?
night nurse | thinking> isn;t it something that might have been
| locked away..taboo even as
night nurse | we grew up...and then like a lightening flashes in
| the sky changing the
night nurse | atmosphere ..we change but some little thing...the
| right person ..the right
night nurse | time...
MoL's Katie J | no, I did not.
Jenni | I did......but I was the Domme then <g>
Dmi's crickett | it is a pecking order
<MS' EBE> M | I did--had an older sister and her
<MS' EBE> M | friends..well...they were little teenage
<MS' EBE> M | dommes..REALLY!! <s>
Ellen | hi..........
Dmi's crickett | D/S...is not sexual.......
*Night Spirit* | nurse did you D/s as a child or only as an
| adult---Katie never tied up barbie?
night nurse | i tied up alot of things as a child....smiling
Dmi's crickett | hell i tied barbie up
Dmi's crickett | plus the dogs
Dmi's crickett | and my brother too
MoL's Katie J | I had had sex for 8 years before I had an orgasm
| ... and that was when I was
MoL's Katie J | tied up for the first time.
Ellen | hey.......you guys have to explain
Ellen | this to me........
night nurse | just never related it to how i feel now
MoL's Katie J | no, I didn't like Barbie
Dmi's crickett | no no no
Dmi's crickett | katie...no
BADgirl | hello??
SNICKER | hello
τΏτ | hi
Dmi's crickett | opppss mis read that....sorry
*Night Spirit* | Ellen this is a Q and A period in Silken ties
| asking questions about D/s
*Night Spirit* | lifestyle
Jenni | there is something about the first time tied up,
| isn't there katie?
Jenni | <g>.........It was when I found out what freedom
| really was.
Ellen | Night......and I repeat.....lost as
Ellen | hell here........
*Night Spirit* | Jenni I agree with that
Old Wolf | ah Jenni... well said
night nurse | i would agree with that Jenni
*Night Spirit* | Ellen we are discussing Dominations and submission,
| bondage disapline and sado
*Night Spirit* | masochism
MoL's Katie J | Something let me let go then, I guess :)
Dmi's crickett | bondage is a great release........ you have someone
| else taken control....doing
Dmi's crickett | things to you...that you would never dream of
| asking them to do to you
*The Inspector* | Ellen sit back and watch/listen.........we may
| all learn something
Jenni | nodding......yyyyyyyep <S>
Old Wolf | the responsibility was taken from you
*Night Spirit* | that's the word crickett---a release
Dmi's crickett | thats it OQ!
Ellen | Geez........
Old Wolf | you could only react... did not have to lead
Dmi's crickett | damn OW
Dmi's crickett | stupid typos <muttering>
Dmi's crickett | yeah release
Ellen | <---totally lost here
night nurse | you are totally free to just feel.....to just be...
SNICKER | u think ur lost
Old Wolf | too often subs are actually strong people whom
| others depend on too much
Dmi's crickett | shhhh sinicker
Jenni | exactly, Old Wolf......exactly
Old Wolf | they have no or little opportunity to be free of
| responsibility
SNICKER | why u ssshh me
Ellen | if someone tries to tie me.....he
Ellen | or she would die.....<s>
<GJ>rebecca | very good point OW
Dmi's crickett | yes OW
Old Wolf | it affects them in subtle ways....
Jenni | your loss, Ellen
MoL's Katie J | it's only done with consent, Ellen
*The Inspector* | then I guess Ellen might be Domme
*The Inspector* | LOL
Ellen | geez. Jen.......
Dmi's crickett | well, Ellen...you dont know what you are missing
Old Wolf | a good Master can understand this and release her
| fro those responsibilities in
Old Wolf | a totally satisyfing way
Master of Leisure | lafffin @ Ellen.....you might want another room.....
<GJ>rebecca | lol
*Night Spirit* | Ellen most of us here are into Domaniance and
| submission we give control up to
*Night Spirit* | another, this can includes bondage, spankings and
| pain but not always
zilli | <pssst ellen....c'mere hon....>
Master of Leisure | chucklin
*Night Spirit* | <--fanning self suddenly>
<GJ>rebecca | <s>
Dmi's crickett | <laffs at zilli>
Ellen | OK.........damn.......
zilli | <if you were offended by that orgasm joke i told?
| come into club maxi and have a drink <g>>
*Night Spirit* | ok someone said D/s is NOT sex--ok what is it?
SNICKER | aahhhh i understand now
Ellen | zills.....what the hell are you
Ellen | doing in here, sis? LOL
<MS' EBE> M | why MOL??? Maybe Ellen just a domme--guess
<MS' EBE> M | not...<s>
Dmi's crickett | i said it NS....to me it is a concept
Dmi's crickett | a way to describe relationships
zilli | ellen, i like these folk....i don't spit at the
| notion of bein tied.....so come on darlin, club
| maxi. free drinks <wink>>
Master of Leisure | you gotta have a clue first.....EBE.....lol
*Night Spirit* | ok crickett tell us more
Ellen | Ellen is female human
Ellen | being........
zilli | <gettin rope to drag her outta here>
Jenni | Jenni is a female human being......who thinks D/s
| is incredible <s>
*Night Spirit* | Ellen I am a female human being I live with my
| hubby, who chains me to bed and
*Night Spirit* | releases all my fustrations and makes me beauitful
Master of Leisure | MoL is male human being....loves to use his crop,
| paddles
<MS' EBE> M | sorry Ellen, this IS kind of a "special" room...
Master of Leisure | and whips and rope.....<w>
*The Inspector* | and D/s is not for everyone Ellen........nothing
| wrong with that
Dmi's crickett | <thinking>
Old Wolf | Ellen.... would you be surprised to learn tht we
| PRIZE your vulnerabiity and
Old Wolf | humanity
Jenni | lol MoL
zilli | <ellen, really....i'm tryin to help ya here darlin>
Old Wolf | that we see what we are discussing as a means of
| not humiliating you but
Old Wolf | helping you learn more about yourself
*Night Spirit* | our relationships are based on trust, consent and
| communication to us we are
*Night Spirit* | VERY special
Ellen | good night.......you guys have
Ellen | fun......I am outta here.......
*The Inspector* | bye Ellen
Old Wolf | expand your vision for a moment Ellen and
| understand that this is about needs
Jenni | <g>
Old Wolf | and desires
*Night Spirit* | Night Ellen
<GJ>rebecca | it is the most enriching relationship I have ever
| encountered
Dmi's crickett | D/s to me ( and please try to remember this is my
| opinion) is a concept of
Dmi's crickett | life's relationships....sex does not have to be a
| *part* of it....the sex...is
Dmi's crickett | more (once again, my opinion) extra...or more BDSM
Master of Leisure | good night,,ellen.....it was nice meeting you..<s>
zilli | <sneakin out the back door but lurking <g>>
*Night Spirit* | ok back to what crickett was saying D/s is NOT
| sex--but a concept
Old Wolf | <one way or another, that pedantry of mine was
| going to WORK!....
Old Wolf | self-satisfied grin!>
<GJ>rebecca | lol
*Night Spirit* | so I assume we can have D/s without EVER having sex?
Dmi's crickett | you can Dom or Domme some one with out having sex
Jenni | Pardon Old Wolf?
<GJ>rebecca | NO!
<GJ>rebecca | lol
<GJ>rebecca | just kidding
Dmi's crickett | in my opinion you can , NS
<MS' EBE> M | Oh geez..been online ages and feel silly buit,
<MS' EBE> M | Crick, what is BDSM??
*Night Spirit* | bondage, disapline sado-masochism
Dmi's crickett | thank Ebe.... <shakes her head>
<MS' EBE> M | thank EBE???
*Night Spirit* | I didn't see sex in that
Dmi's crickett | D/s is a description og relationships...
<MS' EBE> M | you're welcome Crickett!! LOLOLOLOL
Dmi's crickett | gee leave my typos alone Ebe<laffen>
*Night Spirit* | ok crickett what description?
Dmi's crickett | og=of
<MS' EBE> M | You deserved that one, Cricky!! <s>
Dmi's crickett | in the way that people think, or feel NS....about
| different things
Dmi's crickett | yeah yeah yeah Ebe
<MS' EBE> M | NS' simple answer was sufficient..thanks NS
<MS' EBE> M | <s>
<GJ>rebecca | it is not only about sex......the mind and spirit
| release of this concept is
<GJ>rebecca | the most gratifying part
Dmi's crickett | D/s is more mental
Dmi's crickett | not physical
<GJ>rebecca | at least for me.......it's like someone said
| earlier.....
night nurse | patting crickett on the back...yesss.
*Night Spirit* | ok rebecca says it is NOT ONLY sex, and crickett
| feels you can have D/s without
*Night Spirit* | sex--how doe you others feel?
Dmi's crickett | for if that werent true....there would not be a D/s
| online community
<GJ>rebecca | subs are typically in "control" and strong
| personalities
Dmi's crickett | ^5 nn
Jenni | I understand the concept that you can have D/s
| without sex..........
Jenni | never have.......
*Night Spirit* | crickett VERY good point
Jenni | don't want to!
Jenni | <like the sex part!>
Jenni | <g>
night nurse | for me it has been an awakening of my mind..my
| desires...my inner soul..just
night nurse | all of me
<MS' EBE> M | I do NOT understand that concept...HELP???
Dmi's crickett | thats something different Jenni <chuckling>
<GJ>rebecca | YES.........nurse!
Jenni | <g>
Dmi's crickett | <laffen>
*Night Spirit* | I know many female Domme have subs they play with
| that they NEVER have sex
*Night Spirit* | with---but they do let the sub masterbate (yes
| spelling sucks)
Dmi's crickett | <huggss NS....as my spelling ALWAYS sucks>
MoL's Katie J | I see .. they use the same definition of sex that
| Clinton does.
MoL's Katie J | <sorry, couldn't resist>
<GJ>rebecca | lol........Katie
Jenni | lol Katie
Dmi's crickett | what dont you get Ebe?
*Night Spirit* | lol Katie sis
Dmi's crickett | am i still here?
<MS' EBE> M | Yes, NS...that is true...UmmmCrickett--what is
<MS' EBE> M | D/s without sex?? I mean--just one person
<MS' EBE> M | controlling another in general??? don't get it??
Dmi's crickett | yep
*Night Spirit* | yes crickett horrible lag today
Dmi's crickett | no no no..... D/s is more mental (to me) Ebe....
Dmi's crickett | the sex part is extra
Master of Leisure | EBE..it is mental, psychological, emotional control
| for the
Master of Leisure | Dom and release for the sub.......and yes it can
| involve sex if
Master of Leisure | so desired
Dmi's crickett | that is why i say it is a concept
<GJ>rebecca | for me......the joining of my relationship both
| mentally and physically with my
<GJ>rebecca | Dom was parallel
*Night Spirit* | EBE that is her point--she feels D/s is about
| control, trust, communication,
*Night Spirit* | release pain but it can be alive and well without
| sex--sex is the icing
night nurse | i went to a catholic school for eight years...grade
| school...it took me long
night nurse | time to find the real me...to be me...to open my
| mind...to trust some on
night nurse | without having any doubts...
Dmi's crickett | yep yep yep NS!
<MS' EBE> M | I see, but was hearing Crickett to say D/s doesnt
<MS' EBE> M | have to involve sex...??
<MS' EBE> M | That's where I went,,,what???
*Night Spirit* | ebe it doesn't have to
Dmi's crickett | it doesnt have to Ebe....
Master of Leisure | looks at nn...that is because the nuns were the
Master of Leisure | dominants..nn
Old Wolf | hell night nurse.... 16 years of catholic education
| here.. including the
Old Wolf | JESUITS! <you want to talk kinks?>
Dmi's crickett | it is extra!
<GJ>rebecca | <<gigglin>>
Jenni | lol OW
Dmi's crickett | brb
night nurse | it took me awhile to figure that out to OW
<GJ>rebecca | k crickett
<MS' EBE> M | Then--ya think like plantation owners in the
<MS' EBE> M | south were into D/s ??? The term is getting to
<MS' EBE> M | be to broad!!
<MS' EBE> M | too
*Night Spirit* | ok now any questions or last words or
| statements--btw next week's CO is on
*Night Spirit* | dungeon safety which we will do while I torture my
| newly collared sub
<GJ>rebecca | <<gotta scoot.........Thank you.....I learned a
| great deal!
*Night Spirit* | Night rebecca
<GJ>rebecca | <s> NS goodnite
*Night Spirit* | no ebe that is slavery---the slaves did NOT give
| consent to be slaves
Dmi's crickett | what Ebe?
MoL's Katie J | good night, rebecca
Jenni | Thank you Night Spirit.....it was very interesting.
<GJ>rebecca | goodnite Katie ,<s>
Master of Leisure | nite...rebecca
*Night Spirit* | D/s is about consent, control, trust communication,
| pain, bondage--but all that
*Night Spirit* | can be achieved without sex
Dmi's crickett | you are talking about something where one half of
| the party had no choice
Dmi's crickett | period...
<GJ>rebecca | <s> Master of Leisure.......stay out of trouble.....
MoL's Katie J | Thanks, Big Sis .. you did a great job :-)
*Night Spirit* | Anytime Jenni thanks for comming
Master of Leisure | lafffffin.....i usually do...rebecca..<w>
<MS' EBE> M | Well , to me, D/s is a sexual description of life
<MS' EBE> M | not generic--I don't get D/s without sex!!
Dmi's crickett | <-----------------Ebe look at what NS said
<GJ>rebecca | ya..ya..ya
*Night Spirit* | EBE my sub is married, he submits to me, I torture
| him WE HAVE NO SEX
*Night Spirit* | got it?
<GJ>rebecca | <<curtsies to the Dom/Dommes in the room
Dmi's crickett | and Ebe....your Domme lives across the pond...right?
<MS' EBE> M | okay--I get that but...okay, I get it..
<GJ>rebecca | winks @ subbies
Master of Leisure | easy one tonite,,,NS......good moderation.......my
| sistah in the
Master of Leisure | land of D/s
night nurse | it is the mental stimulation...the mind being
| aroused
<MS' EBE> M | Yes she does, Crickett
*Night Spirit* | he is my sub, he obeys me, he let's me to anything
| to him (as long as I leave
*Night Spirit* | no marks) yet we do not have sex
Dmi's crickett | so it is more mental...... right Ebe?
*Night Spirit* | EBE it is what YOU make it, anyway you can
*Night Spirit* | hugs MoL
Dmi's crickett | she contrls you mentally more so than physical
Dmi's crickett | ooppss controls
<MS' EBE> M | Okay--I get it...but NS,,your sessions DO involve
<MS' EBE> M | sex--that is silly to say they don't!!
Master of Leisure | hugggs...NS....<S>
Dmi's crickett | i dont think we said that Ebe
night nurse | nite MOL
Dmi's crickett | i just said to me D/s is more of a concept
Master of Leisure | nite....nn...<S>
<MS' EBE> M | okay Crickett---I get what you are talking about...
Dmi's crickett | ok.....Ebe <s>
*Night Spirit* | EBE in some ways he gets hard I touch the damn
| thing with an electric
night nurse | a state of being...
*Night Spirit* | flyswatter. But since we are only together once a
| month--he has to do alot of
*Night Spirit* | online torture--and that of course has no sex
Master of Leisure | it is more than a concept.....crickie.....it is a
| way of living for
Master of Leisure | many of us.....
*Night Spirit* | OK am sorry gotta run hugs all and thank you very
| much for comming
********** 10/11/98 6:04 PM End logging Silken Ties.