Safety

********** 10/18/98  7:59 PM Begin logging Silken Ties.
WhsprNurse | hi peoploe
L3| I also sent another email today to tina and you...
tina| kissess Katie lady <s>
L3| Hi WN
***'s Katie J | kisses, tina :-)
WhsprNurse | ewww
Trent| hi WN and KJ
WhsprNurse | lol
L3| Hugs Katie <s>
***'s Katie J | *kotc* Spartan, Sir
Spartan ::Host sorta | kisses kj......
spazz| hello all
L3| hi spazz
***'s Katie J | you can have whatever title you'd like <s>
Trent| spazz !!!
spazz| ya tripping over doorway
***'s Katie J | hello spazz
Lady Aireanna | good evening
L3| <listening to strange noise my puter produces..if I
|dissapear please forgive me
L3| >
tina<busy> | hiya LA <s>
spazz| hi ldy
L3| Hi LA
***'s Katie J | Welcome to the D/s Conference .. tonight's topic is
|safety ...
***'s Katie J | and Spartan and tina are our guest Host and hostess
spazz| little to late
tina<busy> | <curtsy>
tina<busy> | lol
marieM  | i want to see that curtsy in Feb tina ok?
*** | chuckling......and I thought we were the host and
*** | hostess...<w>
spazz| seftey h..a..
spazz| saftey
tina<busy> | kissssss ***<s>
*** | smooooooches......sweet tina...<s>
L3| hi *** <s>
tina<busy> | yipppeeeee marie <g>
Trent| ^5 ***
Spartan ::Host sorta | hiya ***...................
tina<busy> | you will you will
spazz| by'e all
*** | Hey,,,,,Spartan....good to see ya
J| Evening All ..... can only stay a few minutes, but
|I'll sneak out quietly...ok?'
***'s Katie J | ok, Gang .. two more minutes to hug, kiss, shake
|fondle, or whatever else you
***'s Katie J | are doing in private
*** | and her smile is beautiful too...marie...<s>
  Harley | <----rides in on a cloud of dust
Lady Aireanna | safety in regards to what issue   please........
*** | sure,,J
***'s Katie J | Somethings, I dont' wanna know <G>
Trent| Hi J
J| thanks <s>
*** | <~~~~~prefers the fondles...<weg>
J| hi Trent
*** | Dungeons......Lady A
***'s Katie J | Spartan, Lady A would like to know where we are
|going to start tonight's
***'s Katie J | conference
Lady Aireanna | thank you
J| Lady Aireanna.....long time no see  <see>
J| <<<<hugs even>>>>>
Lady Aireanna | and you too J
Spartan ::Host sorta | Although tonights topic was to be Dungeon Safety, I
|believe as a general rule
Spartan ::Host sorta | the discussion should start with 'Safety in Play'
|and as we get a little deeper
Spartan ::Host sorta | we can lead to some specific things related to a
|Dungeon. I believe that most
Spartan ::Host sorta | here if they have not played yet in a public
|Dungeon will most likely play in
L3| Hi J
Spartan ::Host sorta | one way or another in a comfortable private setting
|perhaps not in a public
Spartan ::Host sorta | space first.
Spartan ::Host sorta | .
Lady Aireanna | nice to see you
tina<busy> | something along the lines of scene saftey right
|Daddy?
J| hi L3
***'s Katie J | that makes sense to me
tina<busy> | oops...
tina<busy> | a day late and a dollar short...thats me
*** | sounds good to me....Spartan....
tina<busy> | hi J<s>
*** | <~~~~hands tina a dollar....
tina<busy> | huggsss sam <s>!!
*** | chuckln
J| hi tina <<<s>>>
*** | hiyas,,,sam....hugggs
Trent| I read an essay by a dominatrix who said the first
|thing was an up to date CPR
Trent| card
tina<busy> | lol........***.......Im greedy.....
sam <f> | <---creeps in quietly and gets spotted straight
|away lol tina
Spartan ::Host sorta | there are many areas of safety to begin....i
| believe that the old age one of no
Spartan ::Host sorta | alcohol and no drugs is a good one, but b 4 that
| rule becomes hard set, do we
Spartan ::Host sorta | know why ?
L3 | Hi sam
tina<busy> | is a good idea Trent
***'s Katie J | I think one needs to be in full possession of one's
| senses, Spartan
tina<busy> | Id never miss you sam <wink>
sam <f> | hi L3, I know one of the things that makes me
| feel very safe playing with
sam <f> | Joseph is that he is a paramedic
tina<busy> | such a piece of mind....sam
tina<busy> | oops..peace
sam <f> | lol tina
*** | specially for the Dom.....Spartan,,,,,since he
| needs to be in full
*** | control of his senses to control the scene
Spartan ::Host sorta | one thing we all know is the level of
| responsibility can change our point of
Spartan ::Host sorta | view, and of course , i am not talkin about a glass
| of wine or 2 b4 play at
Spartan ::Host sorta | dinner, i am talking drinking and drug use during
*** | hmmmmm.....worked in ER for years.....
sam <f> | yes perception both of what you are doing as a dom,
| I imagine and also of how
sam <f> | the sub is reacting
Spartan ::Host sorta | more so i wonder how many of u realize that one of
| the most important  places
Spartan ::Host sorta | we r tryin to get to is our own space, either sub
| or for the Dom....
tina<busy> | most know that it can alter your mind....but what
| about your body....such as
tina<busy> | your skins reactions to play.....and...... and of
| course alcohol thins the
tina<busy> | blood...if your into knife play etcc
Spartan ::Host sorta | much of this is a chemical reaction we r tryin to
Spartan ::Host sorta | achieve..............................
J | What a chemical  :-)
tina<busy> | lol
Spartan ::Host sorta | to raise the level of released endorphines in the
| sub
sam <f> | it is also very important to make sure you know of
| a sub's medical conditions
Spartan ::Host sorta | <dont spell check me please>...
sam <f> | where applicable for eg asthmatic subs and gags do
| not always mix well
tina<busy> | and the Dom <wink>
*** | it definitely alters the body ....slows down the
| sensations in
*** | the body.......and the ability to react and feel
tina<busy> | so ...no drugs and alcohol......got it...<s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | if we r chemicaly changing our bodies with alcohol,
| <blood thinning, and the
Spartan ::Host sorta | other things it can do>...the endorphines will
| change...
***'s Katie J | Important when you know the people you are playing
| with, and even more
***'s Katie J | important if you don't.
Lady Aireanna | not to mention what it will achieve
| mentally.............
tina<busy> | the chances of going into shock.....are increased
| dramatically
Spartan ::Host sorta | familiarity with skin texture, a subs reacions,
| noticing when she/he might be
Spartan ::Host sorta | close to shock etc...all become
| suspecct..............................
*** | you got it...tina.....you greedy subbie...<w>
tina<busy> | lol
tina<busy> | <nod >
tina<busy> | What about the participants frome of mind?
tina<busy> | theres a saftey issue there as well
*** | very true,,,Lady A......its slows down the capacity
| of the
*** | cerebral hemispheres to comprehend your mental
*** | reality....and hence,,,,,your sub space
tina<busy> | boy that sounded good *** <g>
Lady Aireanna | thank you ***
Spartan ::Host sorta | yes litle one, the next is a healthy state of mind
| going in to any play time or
Spartan ::Host sorta | scene situation..............................
*** | I am a doctor...tina...<w>....well,,,,premed major
| for a wh
*** | ile....chuckln
tina<busy> | a kinda sorta Doc eh?<g>
***'s Katie J | but you can play doc with me, Master
tina<busy> | lol
***'s Katie J | <wink>
*** | sorta......kinda...once waza.......
Spartan ::Host sorta | would any sub wish to be in that situation knowing
| her Dom/omme has just gotten
Spartan ::Host sorta | a speeding ticket, had an increase in child
| support, just got fired..........i
Spartan ::Host sorta | dont think that would be a good head space
Spartan ::Host sorta | ...................................................
*** | <~~~~loves to check out your condition,,,,,,mentaly
| and
*** | physcially....little girl
tina<busy> | so we need a clear head........what about
| responsibility  of a safe scene space
tina<busy> | for all involved?
sam <f> | would that dom/domme be responsible wanting to play
| if that was where their
sam <f> | head was?
*** | the setting should be relaxed for both the Dom and
| sub......
Spartan ::Host sorta | i do not believe we wish to place ourselves in a
| position of being the object
Spartan ::Host sorta | of a release towards violence rather than being
| assisted into our own
Spartan ::Host sorta | space......
tina<busy> | I think they can be responsible.....if they are in
| control of thier
tina<busy> | mindset........ which can be difficult to do if
| everyday is going haywire
tina<busy> | lol...***...are you reading my notes???
Spartan ::Host sorta | remember, on the way to the play area, it might not
| be a good time to let the
Spartan ::Host sorta | Dom know he sucks in bed, or u were dissatisfied
| with something he/she had done
Spartan ::Host sorta | the night b 4........................
*** | didnt read your notes...tina...damn screen went too
| fast...hon
***'s Katie J | yes, that type of communication needs to be done
| away from playtime.
Spartan ::Host sorta | good healthy attitudes going in, allow for good
| consentration, focus, and a
Spartan ::Host sorta | level of attentiveness necessary for all to enjoy
Spartan ::Host sorta | <hopes all notice i am keeping it short, and small
| partagraphs>....
Spartan ::Host sorta | lol
*** | chuckling.....we noticed...thank god
***'s Katie J | yes, Spartan, I'm impressed <G>
tina<busy> | sam....how do you think you could be responsible
| ........going into a scene MJ
tina<busy> | wanted...if your day was bad.....any suggestions?
tina<busy> | lollolol...*** and katie
tina<busy> | I mean responsible for your state of mind?
Spartan ::Host sorta | so where is the participation here, i am not
| standing at a podium ya
Spartan ::Host sorta | know....Lady Aireanna, ur comments are
| appreciated..<s>........any special
Spartan ::Host sorta | thoughts here ?
L3 | <just listens>
Spartan ::Host sorta | marie ?......
tina<busy> | I know...diving helps that and relaxess
| me.......but.......I have to be clear
tina<busy> | in the first place...to be able to fully go into
| subspace most times
sam <f> | I don't think we'd play unless we had talked things
| through and my headspace
sam <f> | had reached a point where I felt able to play
Spartan ::Host sorta | lilith?
<MS' EBE> M | If I say something..anyone care??
Spartan ::Host sorta | please , jump in here....
  *L* | sorry..<panting> late
Spartan ::Host sorta | please EBE
tina<busy> | hi L <s>
L3 | Hi EBE
  *L* | <waves and smiles>
Spartan ::Host sorta | ok, now that Ls here we can wrap this
| up.........lol
tina<busy> | thanks sam <g>L
L3 | Hugs L
*** | sure..Ebe.....speak up
<MS' EBE> M | Hi all!!<s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | just kidding
tina<busy> | hi EBE
Spartan ::Host sorta | <s>
*** | waves back at L.....<S>
  *L* | <waves at L3 and smiles..blows kiss to ***>
*** | smoooch...L....<s>
tina<busy> | AWhat about preparing a scene?........as far as
| saftey issues?...any comments
tina<busy> | on this ?
  *L* | <ggl>
L3 | <sitting and listening...and enjoying to be here>
Lady Aireanna | to play in any circumstance without full
| understanding of the partners ability
Lady Aireanna | and frame of mind be in normal or chemically
| stimulated is playing with dinamite
  Beatle | Hi L
Lady Aireanna | one needs to be familiar and aware
Spartan ::Host sorta | yes, how tru Lady A...........................
<MS' EBE> M | Well, is it at all possible that, a Domme so much
<MS' EBE> M | enjoys that role..she may be "angry"  just
<MS' EBE> M | because it sets up further fun..??
Lady Aireanna | of course I do not have that problem
<MS' EBE> M | Just a guess??
tina<busy> | yes LA...I understand your point......but all is
| not a perfect world at
tina<busy> | times.......and we need to know how to adress that
| issue the best way we can
tina<busy> | ....thanks <s>
Lady Aireanna | so it is a one sided comment
Lady Aireanna | its a matter of simply and pruest communication tina
*** | why would she be angry....Ebe
Spartan ::Host sorta | perhaps EBE, the height of emotional involvment
| still needs to be isolated to
Spartan ::Host sorta | the scene itself, and not bring in outside things
tina<busy> | are there certain things you do .....to help
| yourself in getting ready for a
tina<busy> | scene...beforehand?
tina<busy> | LA
Spartan ::Host sorta | those cannot be resolved or satisfied generally in
| the scene
Lady Aireanna | Talk
Lady Aireanna | discuss
<MS' EBE> M | an invitation to play D/s, ***--get it??  <s>
Lady Aireanna | and be creative and talk more
Lady Aireanna | and if at anytime you feel negative or
| threatened..........
Lady Aireanna | talk more still
*** | I thought  you meant something else...Ebe......like
| initiating
*** | the scene and being angry prior to taking the
| Domme's sub
*** | deeper
Spartan ::Host sorta | as in using ones fantasy expressed in a prior
| conversation Lady A ?....then use
Spartan ::Host sorta | it in the scene hu....
*** | not just an invitation
Spartan ::Host sorta | ok , moving on, we have addressed the initial safty
| of the mind , body n soul,
Spartan ::Host sorta | what about the preparation of the play area and the
Spartan ::Host sorta | toys................................................
| ....
<MS' EBE> M | Yes...she may appear angry for no apparent
<MS' EBE> M | reason--she wants to play...
spazz | hi all
*** | yes,,,Ebe....got it
tina<busy> | any suggestions on  saftey of scene areas......etccc
Spartan ::Host sorta | what kind of prep can we all do to ensure the
| safety of not only orselves but
Spartan ::Host sorta | for our sub as well ???????????
sam <f> | bondage would have to be an important one here I
| would think
  *L* | what do you all do about...er..bodily fluids that
| might
  *L* | be on things?
Lady Aireanna | make sure your hooks are in studs in the
| ceiling..........<S>
***'s Katie J | lol, Lady A!
Spartan ::Host sorta | <g>..Lady A....
Lady Aireanna | forgive me
*** | <g>
  *L* | lol
***'s Katie J | I liked it ! .. no forgiveness necessary <s>
tina<busy> | personnally L....I lie by the rule that no one
| else...plays with our toys
tina<busy> | that touch private areas.......things such as
| single tails....etc....we
tina<busy> | disinfect........throiughly
Lady Aireanna | thak you Katie
tina<busy> | good one LA....lol....
L3 | Sorry to interupt....I have to leave now. Thanks
| for sharing and see you all
L3 | later. I appreciate everything I heard so far  <s>.
| Good night to all .
tina<busy> | lie= live
Lady Aireanna | nite L3
tina<busy> | nite L3
  *L* | night L3
*** | good night,,,,L3....<S>
tina<busy> | we alwyas keep the area free from anything that
| might injure should I
tina<busy> | fall.....or something.....just in case
  *L* | I see, tina.....and what about seating?
tina<busy> | seating?
***'s Katie J | you use alcohol wipes, right?
L3 | nite tina, LA..L..Katie..***...Spartan....and
| marie and hope I did not miss
L3 | anyone <s>
  *L* | I'm assuming nudity goes on..
  *L* | never been to a dungeon
Spartan ::Host sorta | as part of just normal maintenance, a thorough
| cleaning with alcohol after each
Spartan ::Host sorta | play time is a regiment i follow, and on the metal
| studdy leathery things like
Spartan ::Host sorta | a vampire glove, after cleaning with alcohol, as
| not to dry the leather, i coat
Spartan ::Host sorta | the glove with a vaseline based antibiotic like
| bicatracin or something to keep
Spartan ::Host sorta | it soft oiled and germ
| free.....................................
tina<busy> | We use a chemical wipe that I but from a medical
| facility...it kills everything
tina<busy> | including the aids virus...
<MS' EBE> M | OHHHHH  alcohol   is not a good thing!!!
<MS' EBE> M | LOL
  *L* | what about sitting where someone else may have
  *L* | sat
  *L* | I see..
  *L* | <is a germ nut
  *L* | <doesn't even eat at salad bars...<blush>
<MS' EBE> M | Some like to set you a flame!!!
tina<busy> | Oh L.,....in a public club I never sit on the
| stools or seats nude......you
tina<busy> | can take towels or such if your going to be on a
| bondage table .....or on a
tina<busy> | raack...
Spartan ::Host sorta | i carry antiseptic wipes to clean surfaces between
| play, like on the singletail
Spartan ::Host sorta | end, especially after a scene where i have broken
Spartan ::Host sorta | skin...................................
*** | good standard practice to make sure everything is
| cleaned
*** | and after a scene.....
<MS' EBE> M | watch you burn up!!
Spartan ::Host sorta | EBE......where r u ?
tina<busy> | that can be fun too EBE.....<loves fire play>
<MS' EBE> M | careful of alcohol!!
Spartan ::Host sorta | oh, ok...<s>
  *L* | <chuckle>
  *L* | hugs Ebe
Spartan ::Host sorta | well we would hope to keep the flames away during
| that time
Spartan ::Host sorta | clean up time i mean
tina<busy> | take your own bag...of things for that reason
| L.....towels and
tina<busy> | wipes........and alcohol.......etc
Spartan ::Host sorta | we always have sets of rubber exam gloves with us as
Spartan ::Host sorta | well...................................
  *L* | thanks, tina
tina<busy> | <s> L....I kow the cleanliness phobia well <wink>
  *L* | lol...hugs tina...I hate feeling obessive
  *L* | obsessive too
tina<busy> | lol
Spartan ::Host sorta | so u can see a high level of attentiveness is
| necessary to ensure safe
Spartan ::Host sorta | play..........
Spartan ::Host sorta | both with the toys and the play area....
<MS' EBE> M | you think so huh, tina..  ???  burns are not D/s to
<MS' EBE> M | me--it is torture and...disfiguring and incredibly
<MS' EBE> M | painful--not in any way fun!
Spartan ::Host sorta | lots of space, a good overview of the area should
| be done b 4 the play begins
Spartan ::Host sorta | to make sure other players are safe as
| well.............................
tina<busy> | I never get burned in fireplay EBE....you hav4e to
| educate yourself and know
tina<busy> | how to use fire properly....and in that way....no
| one gets hurt <s>
  *L* | I think, of all venues I've seen...the entire
| spectrum
  *L* | of D/s suggests a high level of attentiveness to
| each
  *L* | and every aspect...not just the dungeon.
tina<busy> | absolutely   L
  *L* | it's what is sooo wonderful about it <s>
*** | it has too...L....to be safe
Spartan ::Host sorta | that was the initial topic L, as in all play,
| then address it to a
Spartan ::Host sorta | dungeon....
Spartan ::Host sorta | but think a bit all, how u play as well to make
| sure others are safe even if
Spartan ::Host sorta | they r not in the scene
Spartan ::Host sorta | remember
sam <f> | I played today and wanted MJ to carry on, but he
| stopped because he did not
sam <f> | like the condition of my skin, I would have happily
| carried on unaware of any
sam <f> | damage because my head space
Spartan ::Host sorta | if u r playing with a singletail, u need lots more
| room than if u r canning
Spartan ::Host sorta | and u need not be in cramped spaces depending on
| the play u intend, a good
Spartan ::Host sorta | survey is necessary...................
  *L* | excuse me, Sir...but what do you do if, for
| instance,
  *L* | there is someone very new to the dungeon
  *L* | scene..and you can see they are visibly upset...how
  *L* | so you handle that?
  *L* | so=do
Spartan ::Host sorta | and small areas are great if u wish to do some
| sensory play, feathers brushes
Spartan ::Host sorta | etc along with some basic
| restraint..................................
tina<busy> | I understand sam...I have felt that way many
| times.....and although I have to
tina<busy> | keep responsibilty for my own well being  as
| well.......being in subspace tends
tina<busy> | to limit my mental capasisty  a bit....so then we
| do need to count on the Dom
tina<busy> | to be in the right frame of mind and know wherre to
| go from there....<knows
tina<busy> | what a good Dom MJ is >...
***'s Katie J | good question, L
sam <f> | <s> tina
  *L* | <s@Katie> a very real concern for me
Spartan ::Host sorta | L do u mean as a partner or outside the scene u 
| r involved with ?
  *L* | as an observer, Sir
tina<busy> | bad spelling ughhh
***'s Katie J | I know at the Valentine's party, people kept asking
| me if I was ok, L
*** | if you are with other observers more experienced
| than you
*** | L...you should discuss the scene with them to
| understand
*** | what is going on
Spartan ::Host sorta | L, if a person is upset outside my scene, i find
| it hard to notice, i am so
Spartan ::Host sorta | involved with tina, any break in my concentration
| could be hazardous to tina
  *L* | were you, Katie?
***'s Katie J | yes, I was fine
***'s Katie J | it was my first time at a public play area
  *L* | I just wondered as I am likely to attend this type
| of
  *L* | thing alone..not having a dominant
Spartan ::Host sorta | especially  when using a singletail where a precise
| position is necessary, that
Spartan ::Host sorta | is what Dungeon Masters are there for
***'s Katie J | that's what I did, L
tina<busy> | most play parties have a DM L...wether its in a
| public dungeon or someones
tina<busy> | house
Spartan ::Host sorta | to help not only the ones involved but the ones
| viewing as well.
marieM  | there is usually a social place away from play as
| well
*** | L....there can be others there for their first
| or second time
*** | too......or you can talk to a Mentor or Master Dom
| or Domme to
*** | go over the secene with you
  *L* | I'm hoping, being as I've had this exposure to you
| all
  *L* | and love you all so dearly, that I would be able to
  *L* | handle it, myself.
  *L* | thanks for your answers <s>
spazz | hello
tina<busy> | good point marie....was just going to say if
| something was bothering
tina<busy> | you......you can always go to the socail area...or
| go watch another scene <s>
*** | if you were with all of us...L......we would
| discuss it with
*** | you..
tina<busy> | social.....darn it..lol
  *L* | I know you would, Sir <s> and I am grateful for that
marieM  | yes.. and a lot of times.. even if there is a demo
| or stage scene.. it's
marieM  | explained so if you dont' think you are interested
| or want to view.. you can
marieM  | leave beforehand
***'s Katie J | oh, we're not marking speeling, tina
Spartan ::Host sorta | L, tina and i have alwys made ourselves
| available to go into the city etc
Spartan ::Host sorta | along with friends...u r so close, i would think u
| would take us up on it
Spartan ::Host sorta | sometime, rather than go alone the first time
tina<busy> | thank goodness Katie...
  *L* | I would love to, Sir..thank you
*** | chucklin
<MS' EBE> M | will anyone listen to me???  I have learned a few
<MS' EBE> M | things and am obviously a novice but. a REAL
<MS' EBE> M | Dom/me  knows what the sub is ready for...and if
<MS' EBE> M | not..that is a novice Dom/me..novice sub and
<MS' EBE> M | novice Dom/me may be not  fun...
  *L* | hugs Ebe <s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | we r listening EBE........................<s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | i am not sure what u r asking or telling here tho,
| can u try again...please...
  *L* | I think he misunderstood my comments
  *L* | Ebe.. I have no Dom
*** | not necessarily,,Ebe......a Dom or Domme meeting
| his/her
*** | sub for the first time has to learn much about that
| person to
*** | know what the sub is ready for.....it takes a while
| to fully
*** | understand the depth and knowledge of the sub
***'s Katie J | *** went slowly and carefully with me .. testing
| out various things
***'s Katie J | and as Spartan said earlier .... one is more likely
| to play in private than in
***'s Katie J | a public arena the first time.
Spartan ::Host sorta | i believe we should move on to the next
| plateau........how and when do u start
Spartan ::Host sorta | a scene ?
Spartan ::Host sorta | .
<MS' EBE> M | we are anxious to "play" and id both are
<MS' EBE> M | new...problems
<MS' EBE> M | sometimes scary kind of problems..
*** | katie and I prefer to play in private.......when I
| feel that she is
*** | ready for a public scene ,,,then I will discuss it
| with her...I
*** | want her comfortable and anxious and looking
| forward to it.....
Spartan ::Host sorta | yes EBE, but ur level of trust in each other will
| help get u thru it all ,
Spartan ::Host sorta | slowly and at a pace good for both......<s>
*** | I want her to enjoy
sam <f> | I was terrified at the prospect of going to the
| dungeon in Feb, but everyone
sam <f> | there was so kind to me and MJ took me at my own
| pace, once I relaxed I loved it
Spartan ::Host sorta | <s>....remembers sams worries about
| tina.............<s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | kisses hon
*** | lafffin
***'s Katie J | I know what you mean, sam .. I was scared to death
| .. I'm not good with groups
***'s Katie J | of people.
Spartan ::Host sorta | ok, moving on.....
tina<busy> | and comments on saftey during subspace/Dom high?
***'s Katie J | yes .. please do, Spartan
<MS' EBE> M | I don't think I can explain this without taking up
<MS' EBE> M | all the time so...go on...
sam <f> | lol Spartan, we didn't play that time, but this
| time I am ready
Spartan ::Host sorta | <g>.......
Spartan ::Host sorta | sam
tina<busy> | <bigger grin>
Spartan ::Host sorta | <s>
Spartan ::Host sorta | roar
marieM  | sam am just curious what made you decide to go even
| given your fears. ? and i
marieM  | think that is very common sam - most people don' t
| the first time..
tina<busy> | <---remembers her first very well...!!!
Spartan ::Host sorta | good one marie
Spartan ::Host sorta | <s>
sam <f> | I actually hadn't met anyone in d/s apart from
| Joseph so was scared anyway, but
sam <f> | it was also an important thing for us to do as a
| couple (for long complicated
sam <f> | reasons) and so with encouragement I did
Spartan ::Host sorta | which one hon, public or private ?
tina<busy> | both <grin>
marieM  | both are very special.. your first times.. and sam
| having done that together..
marieM  | it's like any boundary that is opened up it's very
| bonding.. and gives you
marieM  | confidence and trust with other things IMO
Spartan ::Host sorta | so, even getting past the first private time, is it
| easier than in public ?
sam <f> | yes marie i agree totally
Spartan ::Host sorta | or is public perhaps easier as others are there, a
| stop gap, a safety net etc ?
marieM  | actually going to a public venue was easier..
| meeting with a DOm privately the
marieM  | first time was harder
Spartan ::Host sorta | i would think so as well.........................
marieM  | there is a safety net in way
  *L* | I would think that the focus you have on your Dom
  *L* | would preclude many of your fears re:
  *L* | public...anything to my theory?
marieM  | to a degree L
Spartan ::Host sorta | L........the inside safety items make the
| concentration easier i think
tina<busy> | actually.......I understand that public givesa
| saftey net....but for
tina<busy> | me...*playing* privately with Daddy was easier for
| me...
Spartan ::Host sorta | u have less on ur mind to get over in thought
marieM  | but some would find, not being able to *accept*
| something, or even getting
marieM  | naked in a public forum or in any way is hard for
| many
tina<busy> | for the first time I mean
marieM  | easier in private..
***'s Katie J | as I just said to ***, I'm so self concious, that
| private was easy for me.
***'s Katie J | public .. I can't see myself doing it.
marieM  | but Katie you would probable go to a public D/s
| forum to watch?
marieM  | not play?
marieM  | or is that hard also
***'s Katie J | yes, I did.
*** | she has marie.....
*** | we are working on the public
marieM  | for some they can't even do that
Spartan ::Host sorta | it is an idividual thing, but u can think of what
| makes it difficult for u and
Spartan ::Host sorta | decide....
marieM  | Katie did you read Michael's post private to public
| <S> talk about question
sam <f> | I am still very very shy at the thought of people
| watching me
tina<busy> | for me it wa difficult .......because I was self
| consious.......
***'s Katie J | yes, marie, I did .. very nice post.
  *L* | would it be wrong to sustain yourself in a semi
  *L* | subspace state to make it somewhat easier to
  *L* | begin?
tina<busy> | but ....as I have grown.....it has nothing to do
| with what I look like...yes I
tina<busy> | still have bouts of it attack me at times....
Spartan ::Host sorta | L, i believe u r touching on the next
| topic....the
Spartan ::Host sorta | preparation.......................
tina<busy> | but sceneing publically with Daddy....allows me to
| be what I am....and let
tina<busy> | go.....and nothing  anyone else thinks other than
| Spartan mattters to me...its
tina<busy> | a great feeling...
  *L* | I am currently learning how to do this.
Spartan ::Host sorta | and just how important prep really
| is....................can make or break the
Spartan ::Host sorta | scene
marieM  | L i think everyone focus on a scne.. or gets in
| a space in different ways..
tina<busy> | I dont think so L...........
*** | preparation to me is the key to the scene....
marieM  | but it is another level of that sensation of being
| in a public venue yet, being
marieM  | very private
Spartan ::Host sorta | yes ***...i agree in all ways regarding prep......a
| most important step in the
Spartan ::Host sorta | enjoyment.................
tina<busy> | Spartan spends quite a a long time in *preparing*
| me for a scen....some of
tina<busy> | which starts hours before any scene begins....is so
| important to me
marieM  | and the preparation can occur that day or for weeks
| in small ways, talking
marieM  | about things.. before till describing
marieM  | on the same page tina
tina<busy> | lol...<wink marie<s>
marieM  | and often seeing a public scene like the single
| tail.. made me want to
marieM  | experience that
marieM  | i hand't before..
<MS' EBE> M | YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
| Preparartion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
  *L* | what I have experienced...is in that state is a
  *L* | lessening of outside influences...and extreme focus
  *L* | on what I am directed at..or whom
*** | the mental talk.....prior to the scene...talking
| about the
*** | scene......is just as important as the physical
| scene.....
<MS' EBE> M | Then comes the "session"!!
tina<busy> | absolutely L........
marieM  | *** in some ways more do you think, to have a
| really good scene.. it just stays
marieM  | fluid?
Spartan ::Host sorta | yes L, true, the focus begins in the
| prep...................
marieM  | and seems to build..
Spartan ::Host sorta | until it overtakes.....................
marieM  | it's so cool
  *L* | <sighs>
<MS' EBE> M | It is building to that!!
*** | yes,,,marie.......it does.......the scene flows
| well,,,cause the
*** | sub knows what the Dom is doing and allows her/his
| senses
*** | to accept the focus of the single tail or the cat
| or whatever
Spartan ::Host sorta | i enjoy the starting and then filling of tinas
| thoughts with my thoughts to
Spartan ::Host sorta | allow her to ease into her space of calm and ease
| with it
Spartan ::Host sorta | all...............................................
*** | and in this way, the sub can f ocus and dive deep
| into space
Spartan ::Host sorta | unfortunately, i believe we r at a point tonight to
| begin wrapping up on the
Spartan ::Host sorta | topic at
| hand................................................
| .........
tina<busy> | so prep can be just talking and
| discussing.....or...it can also be a form of
tina<busy> | mental scening....such as placing me into a fantasy
| realm......almost an
tina<busy> | altered sate of awarenes....
spazz | sorry is this your lamp.
*** | I love to feel katie mentally as she loses herself
| in space......I
*** | can feel that mental change
spazz | sorry
marieM  | yes. exactly tina..
tina<busy> | <s>
<MS' EBE> M | The DUNGEON!!!   yes??
marieM  | and *** you are right.. there is a threashold..
| that we cross..
tina<busy> | different from deep subspace though.......dont you
| agree marie?
marieM  | yes..
Spartan ::Host sorta | <wipes sweat from brow with a
| towel>......whew.......we made it
Spartan ::Host sorta | hon..........................
  *L* | <smiling....thinking how far you all have brought me
  *L* | in my year here> Thank you <blows kisses>
marieM  | LOL Spartan
marieM  | ROFL
***'s Katie J | You did a wonderful job Spartan and tina
tina<busy> | blows back a bunch L
*** | yes,,,marie...there is......and we need to learn
| where that
*** | threashold is
***'s Katie J | thank you so much <tight hugs and smooches>
*** | chuckling.....you can do it......Spartan....
  *L* | thank you Spartan and tina...for the nice job
  *L* | <kudos>
marieM  | but seeing it happening and going with it.. is
| something i find so amazing
tina<busy> | thanks everyone....
*** | <~~~~~knows that tina guided him well.....
marieM  | thanks guys<S> so you doing the Oscar's next year
| huh
  *L* | lol
tina<busy> | we didnt get to finish everything....but oh
| well...thats mean Katie will have
tina<busy> | to ask us to help again.....lol
***'s Katie J | when we next see NS and Grandpa, they should be
| husband and wife
marieM  | so wise ***
*** | good job.......my fellow Dom....
***'s Katie J | yes, I'd like that, tina <S>
*** | <winks> at marie......been around a while....hon
Spartan ::Host sorta | thnx for letting us be a part of it kj and
| all.........we dont know , other
Spartan ::Host sorta | than for our own play how to get by it all, but,
| well, they were just our
Spartan ::Host sorta | opinions on the topic...not
| gosel.............................
***'s Katie J | I'd like that very much <S>
tina<busy> | are they honeymooning anywhere?
Spartan ::Host sorta | gospel even
***'s Katie J | I dont' know, tina.
Spartan ::Host sorta | shit typos
***'s Katie J | <fyslexic dingers>
  *L* | lol
***'s Katie J | not a problem, Spartan <G>
*** | in their Dungeon,,tina...<w>
tina<busy> | best place I suppose huh *** <wink>
  *L* | Night all <waves>
  *L* | thanks ..and huggs
tina<busy> | nie L!
***'s Katie J | good night, L
marieM  | night all
*** | yep.......chucklin
*** | nite...L....<S>
***'s Katie J | thanks for attending, everyone :-)
*** | night...marie.......<S>
Spartan ::Host sorta | we r gonna run....night kisses to
| all.....................kj, ***....special
Spartan ::Host sorta | kisses.....................
tina<busy> | waves to all!!!
*** | cya,,,Spartan.......huggggs..tina.......great to
| see you guys
*** | again........<SS>
*** | hugggggs
*** | I need to go feed the doggies.........
***'s Katie J | ok, love
*** | I missed  you so much this week.....little
| girl.....smooooches
***'s Katie J | as I have missed you, my Daddy
***'s Katie J | kisssssssses
***'s Katie J | good night all :)
*** | meet you in General....in a bit...sweetheart
*** | nite...all
********** 10/18/98  9:03 PM End logging Silken Ties.