The Top Fifteen Signs You Are a Pervert

15. You keep the ACE Hardware catalog with your other pornography.

14. You were always disappointed that the book Of Human Bondage wasn't.

13. Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk.

12. You read Andrea Dworkin for the pornography.

11. You call people other than your Father ``Daddy.''

10. Reading the word ``spanking'' makes you blush.

9. Your first, favorite scout badge was for knot tying.

8. You moved to Oregon so you could wear more raincoats.

7. Kitchen utensils are found in your bedroom.

6. Your Mistress made you read this.

5. Tack shops Not just for equestrians anymore.

4. You own and use handcuffs, but aren't employed in law enforcement.

3. Your contracts involve punishments, but no money.

2. Your friends covet the bondage cross in your bedroom.

1. You're still trying to read this list.