Knowing Steve only from business meetings and Stuff-N-Licks, I admit to a little hesitation as to what sort of a program our sometimes regimented, opinionated postmaster would put on. That question was answered recently when Steve did a birching demonstration. Steve, making his debut as a program presenter, overcame some initial nerves to give an informative and often humorous presentation on the history, making, and use of the birch, displaying a dry wit that I had been heretofore unaware he possessed.

Steve opened his program with a little about the history of the birch for punishment. It is one of the oldest instruments of discipline, going back to the Greek and Roman Ages. The Victorian Age refined the use of the birch to a ritual, and it is still rumored in use in English private schools. The English Navy used a willow (an acceptable substitute for the birch) aboard ship, and a common sentence was a judicial birching by the magistrate.

It was pointed out that quite often the delivery of discipline with the birch was surrounded by ritual and ceremony. Mistress Reba (read a passage from the book, "A Guide to the Correction of Young Gentlemen" by A. Lady which beautifully illustrated this philosophy. As a rule, the person to be disciplined, frequently called the culprit, would be forced to prepare his own birch, and great effort went into making the birching itself a "production", where all would witness the culprit's humiliation and, theoretically, learn from it. Nikki also read a passage from the book, hers concerning French nuns, which again illustrated the ritualization of birching.

Steve then discussed the care of the birch rod. Fresh cut birch make the best rods. They should be soaked for approximately twelve hours before use (about one foot of the bottom) until they are supple. It was pointed out that seeing the rod being made ready in itself adds to the psychological aspects of a scene. One of the advantages to the birch rod is that it can be upgraded ad infinitum. As branches break, wear down, fray, whatever, it is a simple matter to replace them.

Steve then proceeded to give us a 'how-to' on making our own birching rod. He pointed out that there were a couple very good alternatives to the birch, two being the willow (as already noted above) and the cedar whip. Basically, the thing to look for is a thin, smooth, supple piece stick. The birch can be bought at the flower vendors in the city and the only other equipment necessary is the ribbon for the handle. Steve first sorts his birch into sizes. Choosing rods appropriate to the size of spray desired, the rods are then pruned so that the "stinging points" fall within a 6-8" area of spray range (from the end up). Excess tips outside that range are tripped off as closely to the main branch as possible. The average spray will contain 8- 10 thin rods, while the larger, longer birch may contain only 6, but of a thicker diameter. After assuring that tips face in toward the center of the birch, string is used to secure the rods together while the ribbon handle is wound tightly. Several people had the opportunity to try their hand at making their own, and while none demonstrated Steve's proficiency or speed, the majority turned out rather well.

A demonstration of the use of the birch followed. Mistress Miranda and Mistress Josephine, attired appropriately enough in governess-ish dressed, took to task Ethan, Gary, Duane, Dave, Rich, and Attila. One of the more interesting positions had one culprit holding another almost piggyback while the held culprit received his discipline. As it was also Steve's birthday, the program fittingly ended with Steve getting a Birthday Birching. In a feat of endurance that amazed me, Mistresses Miranda and Josephine each took a whack at Steve, which counted as one stroke. Forced to count the strokes, this two-party system seemed to screw up Steve's count on occasion and he was forced to start all over again, although, truth be told, the most common supposition is that he did this on purpose. In any case, Steve, who turned something more than 49 and less than 51, therefore in essence had a minimum of 98-102 tastes of the birch, but since he lost count a couple times, it was probably double that. What a man!!! Afterwards, it was the consensus that although it reddens quickly and stings quite a bit at the time, there is not much in the way of prolonged discomfort or marking.

I want to thank Steve for the research and time he obviously put into this program. He did a very credible job and presented his material in an informative and humorous manner. Now that he has gotten his feet wet so to speak, I look forward to seeing Steve behind the podium again.

Posted with permission from Society of Janus
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