Posted with permission from Society of Janus
Ó Society of Janus http://www.soj.org
Being new to the community, Sybil Holiday's name really meant nothing to me other than the fact that she was presenting a program that I was told would be excellent. This was corrected with her recent program on the *Nurturing Sadist*, and in the future Sybil's name will always represent to me the spiritual and loving side of BDSM.
Sybil's program opened with a group exercise. Everyone was to choose a partner and stare into their eyes until Sybil called 'time'. The consensus of the vast majority was that this was very uncomfortable. She then took the group on a journey into meditation/relaxation, drawing everyone into themselves and making them aware of themselves as both a whole body and the individual parts.
After this, the group chose different partners and again stared into their eyes. This time, while many still felt somewhat uncomfortable with it, a larger number felt much more secure in doing it. Eye contact is considered very intimate, and the purpose of this exercise was to demonstrate the relationship between intimacy and relaxation. With relaxation, the intimacy of eye contact is easier, which was proven by many in the room.
Taking this a step further, it stands to reason that this would be true in all our intimate interactions. Sybil then went on to discuss the niche she created for herself within the community. When she arrived in the community twenty years ago, the female sadist was more or less defined as the leather-clad bitch. While not denigrating this image, this was not Sybil. With no mentors, Sybil found her own way and she now serves as a benchmark for those who share her ideal of a loving, caring sadist.
Sybil shared with us some of her philosophies when playing. Pain is viewed as a reward. Submission to Sybil is done voluntarily and she does not play resistance games. Sybil does not take from her bottoms; rather, she accepts what is lovingly given to her. She does not believe in punishment per se, and to her it is a contradiction to discipline with a caning one day and reward with it the next. Therefore, the sentiment "If you're good you'll get a spanking; if you're bad you get nothing" is one that Sybil adheres to.
Being a Cradle Catholic (and still a Christmas Catholic), I confess I tend to look at some of the "Eastern mysticism" with the eye of a skeptic, but Sybil's presentation was both an eye- and mind-opening experience. She summarized Tantra as incorporating breath, sound, movement, and visualization, and especially energy awareness. She noted that the energy cycles around through the bodies when they play, which is why while she is administering intensity, her preference is to maintain a physical connection with the other person, keeping the energy circuit intact.
She described each person's energy as flowing back and forth between them, each person's being rejuvenated before being returned to its body. She stressed the importance of making sure afterward that each person takes their energy back, and also to provide an outlet to allow "bad" energy to be expelled. She spoke briefly of the various Chakras in the body and what aspect of life each affected.
There are seven major ones, governing
On a personal note, as mentioned, I was something of a skeptic. However, it struck me as uncanny because I have a habit of rubbing the hollow at the base of my throat when I'm thinking as I write and often while I'm on the phone. I can but assume it was some instinctive stimulation of that fifth Chakra, which leaves one wondering how many other Chakras we instinctively stimulate without even realizing that we're doing it.
Her views on the dominant woman were also fascinating. She discussed the differences between male power and female power, at the same time stressing that both are essential and neither is better, and also noting that both sexes contain a degree of the elements of both types of power. Although, again, these are generalities, the primary difference seemed to be that a male tends to gain power over someone based on his superiority. The female, on the other hand, gains her power from within herself.
As Sybil stated, the Queen has power simply because she exists. The evening ended with a demonstration on Carla using a clothespin. Sybil seemed to establish a current between herself and Carla, and one could almost feel the surge of energy back and forth. Key among the principles used here is staying relaxed, which keeps the energy from becoming blocked and entrapped. She pointed out that when we feel pain, we tend to tighten up, breathe shallowly, and our voices get higher. She stressed keeping the voice low and taking deep, regular breaths.
When you joined Janus, you were told to attend as many programs as you could, because whether or not they seem to interest or pertain to you, there is something to be learned from it. That was certainly the case with Sybil's program. Valentine's Eve proved to be perfect scheduling for the warmth and caring that she infused the room with and the aura of spirituality she radiates. I count myself as lucky for being able to attend Sybil's presentation, and appreciate her spending a Friday night with us.
Posted with permission from Society of Janus
Ó Society of Janus http://www.soj.org