When I attended my first SOJ business meeting just a relatively few short months ago, one of my first impressions of the then-moderator and his wife the librarian (talk about shattering stereotypes!!) was that these two really seemed to have a lot of fun with each other. My opinion was apparently correct, because Edd and Janice recently gave a program on Sadistic and Silly, where they shared snippets of the games they play both publicly and privately.

Edd and Janice introduced themselves and gave us a little background information. They are the exception to the rule- they met at a play party and went on to marry about a year ago. Hazarding a guess, one of the attractions for each other must have been their shared sense of humor. Neither one is overly into "heavy" scenes. This isn't to say that they don't take what they do seriously. Quite the opposite, their relationship keeps them in tune with each other and gives them a sixth sense as to how the other is doing. But these are two people who have found that for them, laughter can go hand- in-hand with an intense BDSM scene.

Laughter during a BDSM session is not for everyone. Some tops would not feel comfortably "toppy" being silly and would probably be downright offended if their bottom suddenly started laughing. This works conversely, too, with some bottoms feeling that their top may not be taking them seriously enough if the top dares to be silly. If you decide, though, that a little humor is okay, you have to be prepared to be unprepared. Edd and Janice told us that the key to finding your own laughter in play is to be spontaneous. While there is nothing wrong with planning potential activities, be open to situations that present themselves before, during, and even after a session.

They cited a couple of the things that they stumbled upon in just this way. Super Bowl Sunday holds a special place in their hearts because of the way they found to enjoy the big game two years ago. To summarize briefly, each scoring drive culminated in Janice getting spanked/swatted/thwacked with either something she liked or something she didn't like, depending on which team scored. The blows were cumulative (meaning that when the team scored making is 27-3, for instance, she got 27 blows instead of just the 7 for the touchdown). In addition, clamps were moved for changes of possession, and modifications are already in the planning stages- different 'punishments' for different penalties, interceptions, sacks, etc.

A good deal of their play also revolves around the various personas they each slip into. They do a combination British/Australian/Southern Baptist accent both in and out of the house, and for them it serves as a little reminder of what they've done in private, and they can almost tease each other with the voices while out in public without anyone but themselves being aware of it.

Many of our programs are informative demonstrations that you walk away from having learned a new or safer way of doing things. This wasn't one of those programs. When you left this program, you did not have a formula for how to make jolly while flogging or being flogged. What this program did was show that it was okay to have fun, and that laughter and a sense of humor can add an entirely different level of closeness. I have heard from numerous people that this program made them think about some of the things that they do that could be turned into a game, and that they had either never considered it or did not think it would be acceptable.

I want to thank these first-time presenters for a good job with a tough subject, and for showing us that laughter is a great stress reliever, and that we all can "lighten up" on occasion without sacrificing any of the things that we get from BDSM. Edd and Janice will sadly be leaving us too soon, and Italy's gain is most assuredly our loss, especially those of us who have had the honor and privilege to spend time around these good folks. Thanks again for sharing and baring your lives to us.

Posted with permission from Society of Janus
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