Predator Warning Signs

One That Victimizes, Plunders, Or Destroys, Especially For One's Own Gain.

A Dominant's First Responsibility Is The Safety And Wellbeing Of His submissive. This Includes Physical, Emotional And Mental Wellbeing. His Behavior With Others Shall Reveal His True Self Through His Interactions In A Room. It Can Be That The Only Place A Predator Has Honor Is In The Relationship He Is Developing With His Victim. Inappropriate Attitudes Such As "The Bow Down And Worship Me Cause I Say I Am Dom Syndrome" Who Act If Every Submissive Must Obey Every Self Proclaimed Dominant, And Begin Giving Orders Or Grilling The Submissive From The Very Beginning. He Probably Exhibits These Behaviors In Real Time.

He Will Use His Ability To Charm To Deceive. And Use The Vulnerability Of A submissive To His Advantage, He Uses Lack Of Self Esteem To Gain A Hold Over Her. He Will Attack Her Trust In Him, And Thus she Will Lose The Ability To Trust herself And her Own Feelings Or Judgments. He May Quickly Attack Those Who Try To Enlighten The Intended Victim, By Using "They Are Jealous Of What We Have". Even Though What He Is Teaching her Is Incorrect, she Being At The Point Now Believing Everything He says.

You Are Not Obligated To Answer Every IM you Receive. If you Receive An IM That Is Insulting Rude, Demanding, Abusive Or Vulgar, Simply Place That Person On Ignore. . If They Are Not your Dominant, you Are Not Obliged. New submissives, Especially Think They Need To Answer Every Self Proclaimed Dominant That IM's Them. If They Insist On Being Pushy, And Do Not Take The Hint After You Have Ignored Them, Or Follow You...Head To A Room That You Know People In..."A Safe Room" You May Need To Call A Host For Assistance.

Never Give Our Personal Information To Someone You Don't Know!

These Are Signs That A submissive Should Pay Attention To IF her Instincts Are Saying Something Is Not Right About This Person. A "a Submissive's Own Common Sense Can Be Her Best Defense! Any Exchange Of Power Requires That All Who Participate Never Lose Sight. Don't Get So Swept Up In A Fantasy That You Lose Touch With Reality. Your Safety Depends On It! It Is Easy To Allow Our Bodies And Our Hearts To Over Rule Common Sense When The Need For submission Is So Strong.

"RED FLAGS"

Red Flags Are People Who Are Vague, Talk In Circles, Or Answer Questions With Questions. They Use Fancy Footwork, Excuses, Or Evasive Maneuvers. Be Very Cautious With These Types Of People. They May Have Been Hurt & are Cautious Themselves Or May Be Playing Hard To Get, Or They May Not Be Someone you Should Continue Communicating With. If They Cannot Be Honest With you From The Start, Then Don't Count On Them To Honest RT. Because Trust Is Crucial In The BDSM Lifestyle, This Could Be A Key Indicator That The Person Is Not Worthy Of Being Your Dominant.

Possible "Red Flags" To Think About

Changes Screen Names Constantly?
Ask You To Call Him "Master" In A Private Room Only?
Conversing To you From Obs Or IM's Only?
Tells You Not To Mention That You Have Been Speaking To Each Other?
"Hides Out" When Online.
Only Converses With You From Their Work Computer D/t Spouse At Home?
Insist On Having your Full Name And Telephone Number, But Refuses To Give You Theirs?
Isolates You From your Friends. Tells Your That Your Friends Lie About Him.
Becomes Defensive Or Angry When Questioned Or Questions The Sincerity Of The submissive When Questioned.

In This Lifestyle, We Need To Not Look Out For Our Own Safety, But Also Help In Guarding The Safety Of Others. We Have A Responsibility To Our BDSM Community To Present Education On Safety. The Predator Is Not Gender Definite, Sad But True They Can Be Both Sexes. Lets look At The Examples And Lets See Where The Commonalties Show Up.

Example #1 - Is A Male Pretending To Be A "Mistress"
One Such Case Was A "Self Proclaimed Dominant/male submissive" Named "Joe Dom**" From The UK Very Charming, Married And A Sales Man Who Stated A Desire To Move To The USA. Who Would Frequent The Chat Rooms As A "Mistress Fake Name**" Hunting For "Gay Women" Who He Thought Would Be Quick & Easy Prey. He Claimed To Have No Self Pictures, Microphone, Or Video Camera As A "Mistress"...But Has Many Male Pix For When He Is Dominant Or submissive. Coerced Women Into Performing Sexual Acts Via NetMeeting, Msn & Yahoo!. His Favorite Hobby Is Collecting Nude Pictures. Often Uses "Sob" Stories Such As His Wife "Little Miss Vanilla" Left Him, Can Adapt To Any Situation.

Example #2 -SmartAss Extraordinaire
"Mary Subbie**" A 50 something "submissive" From The Midwest. Married, Dishonest About Her Age & Physical Appearance (Uses Daughters Or Old Pictures), Constantly Disrespectful And Rude In Most Rooms, Uses The Sob Story Technique...i Just Want To Escape my Present Situation Or The "Poor me, my Last Relationship Ended Because HE Was A Liar, i Was Abused, Hurt, Husband Has Illness"...Etc...As A Way Of Luring Dominants. When She Does Not Get Her Way, She Begins To Harass Others By Giving Out Their Personal Information, Threatens Family Members By Harassing Phone Calls. While In The Mean Time Trolling Under Various Names. Which She Usually Says Is Her "Daughters Names". Often Paranoid Thinks "People" Are Hacking/Stalking her.

submissives That Portray Things In A Skewed Fashion Just To Gain Sympathy Are Just As Guilty Of Being Predators.

Does Either Have A Sense Of What BDSM Means?

**Names have been changed to protect the innocent.